Those of you who read this blog regularly, know that about 2 years ago we added two children to our family. We have celebrated, cried, argued and rejoiced for these children. But, today I am here to say that I need to take a moment to be brutally honest. I had NO idea what we were signing up for!
You may have noticed that I haven't written any posts in quite some time. Our family dynamic just got to the point where writing my thoughts was not a priority, or maybe not even a possibility. In my opinion "LIFE" simply consumed me.
I am not going to write specifics about our children, but some general observations about them and others like them that have left me questioning and confessing that "I had NO idea."
It truly boggles my mind to know that there are so many children in the Foster Care system and other systems like it. These children have most likely been bouncing around the government system for a long time. I have a very hard time wrapping my mind around how it must feel to be young and have no permanent home. They need a home. They need to know that someone loves them. They need to know that they are important.
When we were asked to take in these children, our family had several conversations about what might happen and what would be the best choice to make. Do we add two more children to our already seemingly large family? How will this change our immediate family? How will having two additional children impact our extended family and friends? And so on, and so on.
I never once thought, "what if they hate it here?" or "what if they are too difficult to deal with?" After all, I am offering a loving home; a wonderful Christian environment and more opportunities than they have ever seen. Besides, in all the movies and shows we ever see the adoptive or foster children always adjust wonderfully to their new family and grow to be strong loving adults. Everything would be great, what was there to worry about?
We were required to go through the foster parent certification process in order to have the children join our family. During the process, it became abundantly clear that there were going to be some new things happening in our home. The foster parent guidelines specifically speak about children whom still have bathroom accidents into their teen years; children that are years behind in their schooling; children that have consistent nightmares; children that have anxiety induced behavior outbursts for seemingly no reason; children that physically and sexually hurt other children; and many other extremely sad situations. I felt so naive, all I was offering was a loving Christian home.
So, you might be wondering what we were thinking. Why in the world would we bring such potential danger into our home, especially when we have young children of our own? James 1:27. That is really all I can say, James 1:27. There are other verses as well, but God calls us to look after the fatherless. How could we just walk away? What would we be saying to our own children? What would the two foster children think? Just another "parent" that had no interest in taking the time to love them. We couldn't say no. We knew they belonged with us. They ARE our family!
There isn't a day that goes by that we don't have some sort of minor struggle. However, that goes for all of our children. There is always someone who is forgetting to turn off the light, someone who is hurting someone's feelings, someone who isn't doing their best on their homework, someone who is _____ you can fill in the blank, I am sure you have struggles in your home too. Sometimes we have a pretty big struggle, and we find ourselves traveling down extremely unfamiliar paths, but guess what.....God is always with us. Even when I fall flat on my face and handle the situation completely wrong, He is with us. He is clearly providing us the strength that we need to make it to the end of each day with a smile and a bit of hope for tomorrow. He never ceases to amaze me.
I know you may find this shocking, but it is clearly one of the greatest, worst, most exciting and scariest decisions we have ever made. None of our lives will ever be the same again. It might be difficult to understand, but it is completely humbling to me to see how God has prepared us and is using His grace and mercy to mold each and every one of us. I still have no idea. No idea what each day will bring, no idea what new joy or struggle is around the corner, no idea where this path is going to take us next. No matter how hard I try, I still have no idea what each day will bring.
I try to be encouraging with my posts, but this is a challenging topic to be overly encouraging with. That said, I would love to encourage you to pray about adding this amazing adventure to your family. There are more than 100,000 foster children in the US alone that are waiting to be adopted. That number only includes children in the foster care system and in the US. There are many more waiting with private ministries and in the impoverished countries around the world. You have no idea what amazing adventure God has in store for you and the children He has prepared for you.
I have no idea, you have no idea, the children have no idea......but God in His infinite wisdom knows exactly what is ahead. I pray that you will embrace James 1:27 and completely rock your current world and the world of some incredible children.
