That's A Keeper!

We did a great deal of fishing on our recent vacation. It was wonderful! Many of the children really got into fishing and have found a new hobby. We were able to keep many of the fish the children caught. However, there was a limit on some of the lakes we were at and so some of the fish needed to be put back into the lake. The children learned the term, "that's a keeper."

That's a keeper is a cute phrase when fishing, but not when dealing with our little ones. We have one child, in particular, that is continually questioning their worth. It seems to me that they are asking themselves if they are a keeper. To be completely honest with you, I am running out of ideas for how to help them see the truth. They are a precious child of God. They are valuable because God made them that way! We tell them this all the time, but it doesn't seem to be sinking in.

I have seen the destruction that girls and boys do to themselves when they don't think they are valuable. My classrooms and youth groups have always had a few children that are so broken they see themselves as worthless. It is so sad! 

Here is my fear.... if we can not get all of our children to understand that they are a precious gift from God, I know that we will be in for a very long journey. I have seen these feelings of unworthiness lead to addictions with drugs, alcohol, gambling and/or sexual intimacy. These are not roads I want our children to experience. I know that God has a better plan for their lives. It is imperative that we help our children to see that they are valuable, precious and loved.   

I wonder if our society hasn't hurt our children with all of their emphasis on self-esteem. What do our children learn when they play games where no one ever wins? What are they learning when everyone is rewarded the same no matter how hard some try? Sure it is hard to see your child upset when they loose or don't get picked for a certain team, but those are situations we can learn from. These are situations where are children get to learn more about themselves. 

When I was younger, I learned that I could NOT play softball. It wasn't fun knowing that I wasn't good at something, but it encouraged me to try something else and find something I am good at, truly good at. I discovered a real talent that many others didn't have. This real talent helped me see God's plan for my life and gave me hope for my future. 

A recent example from our family comes from our second child. She seems to constantly be comparing herself to her older sister. Her older sister is always better at everything, or so she tells me. I literally spent five minutes talking to her the other day and listing all the things that she could do better than her sister. She hadn't thought of any of them. You know why?  Because they aren't things her sister does. She was comparing herself directly to her sister. It took someone from the outside to show her the unique gifts she has. Her sister doesn't play an instrument, isn't nearly as patient as she is and plays a completely different sport. Most outsiders wouldn't even think of comparing the two because they are too different. It's like apples and oranges.

One of my goals is to find the one thing that each one of our children excels at and then invest in that child in their gifted area. While providing opportunities for the child to grow and develop, we are praying that God will guide us in a way that will help our children prepare for what He has in store for them. My child may be the most amazing artist in the world, but our desire is that she would use this gift to bring glory and honor to Christ. After all, He is the one that gave her the gift. My hope and prayer is that when our children see how God has blessed them and given them the ability to bless other, they will always know that they are worth keeping.

I believe we all have a strong desire to know that we are "a keeper."  But, I also believe that if we try to find our value or worth outside of Christ and His desires for our life, we will always be searching for something or someone else to make us feel important. No matter who you are or who your children are, God made you precious, valuable and worthy! He has great plans for your life and the lives of your children. Don't let anything or anyone tell you any differently!