This young mom just summed up most of parenting. We often feel we have only three choices: laugh, cry or scream, when situations jump into our days. And, I think there are some situations that warrant two of them or maybe even all three. Take for example the time when the potty training 2 year old sneaks into a different room to pooh in his pants. Only to be discovered a few moments later with pooh smeared all over his legs and stomach. Seriously, what do you do? Is screaming really going to help either of you at that exact moment? Or when a toy was left on the floor only to have an older sibling whom is reading while walking, trip. This trip causes the book to go flying from their hands and directly into Great-Grandma's heirloom vase, sending it crashing to the floor. Again, what is a parent to do?
I know personally, I find myself jumping right to the screaming choice way too often. Especially on those days when sleep was scarce or there is some issue preoccupying my mind. Then, I become even more frustrated because I have lost MY self-control. It can become a vicious cycle.
In many of the books I read, it talks about the example we set for our children. Screaming is not an example I want to be setting. On days when the situations seem to be hitting me faster than I can deal with them, I need to remember to stop, pray, and ask for God's guidance. I would also like to suggest that we have a forth option, we can laugh, cry, scream or teach. I know I, need to remember that every wrong choice or misbehavior is NOT a question of my authority or an act of disobedience. Sometimes misbehavior is just forgetting, sometimes it is an instance of never knowing and sometimes it is just frustration taking over. Personally, I am trying to work on teaching behavior more. Each and every situation is a chance for us to teach our children. We teach them how to react, how to respond, how to carry themselves and how they might respond differently in the future.
Let's visit my home for a moment. What do we see? Well there is the two year old that has decided to scream at the top of his lungs because his brother has the toy he wants. So after I make a face because the scream hurt my ears, I have the chance to kneel down and remind him to use his words. It would also be a great chance for him to practice exactly what to say a few times. This situation is also a chance for me to talk to his brother about sharing, trading and taking turns. Maybe he can find a toy that is just like the one he has for his little brother. This is a teaching moment. One that I will probably repeat twenty times before they both start to get the hang of it. One that I will need to work hard not to get frustrated with as I am repeating the same thing over and over. These little conversations are very important and all though it seems like we don't have enough time and that the children should have learned by now, it is my job to do my best to teach them how best to behave.
There are many situations that we face in our family today that lead me to the "cry" or "scream" reactions because I didn't take the time to have the teaching conversations earlier. I now see the short, repetitive conversations that seem so frustrating when they are little, turn into long even more frustrating conversations when they are older. I am slowly learning that these small teaching moments are vitally important. So important, that I need to be intentional about teaching and allow other things to wait.
Let me encourage you to stop whatever you are doing and take the time to have a great teaching conversation with your little ones. I am challenging myself this month to do more laughing and teaching than screaming and crying, will you join me?
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