Quick To Listen.....Slow To Become Angry

"Dear brothers and sisters, take not of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19

Wow, this verse has just been beating my behind this month. We have memorized it as a family, as part of our 2015 family adventure, but I think it is hitting me more than our children. Almost everyday I find myself being reminded of those words, after I had forgotten.

I know that this verse needs to completely work its way into my life, before I can expect it to work into the lives of my children. Children learn from example and from experience. I can lecture them and have chats with them, but their learning is most impacted by things they experience. This is way schools try to have as many "hands-on" activities as possible, especially at the elementary level. My children are learning a ton more from my actions than my words. I know that, you know that, so why is it so hard to live my life each and everyday in a way that is helpful and positively impactful to them?

I know that I am a busy mom, but is it really that hard to stop and listen to the ENTIRE story about why the juice is spilt on the table? "I know, you and your bother were fooling around and you knocked it over. It was an accident, I get it, just clean it up." But if I don't model listening, why should they take the time to listen? We practice listening to one another at meal times and during devotions, but isn't it just as important to listen when I am busy? This is a huge struggle for me!

I need to work on my listening skills. However, the second part of the verse is even more crippling to me. "Slow to become angry." Many will tell me often, how much patience I have and how great I am with our children. I usually graciously accept the compliment, but inside I am thinking, "if you only knew." I truly wish that my patience would last forever, but when it comes to telling you the 15th time to do something, the very thing I asked you 15 times to do yesterday, my patience moves out and anger moves in. It is not pretty.

Some will tell me that I have a right to be angry because our children should listen and obey. They are right about one thing, our children should listen and obey and that is why it is one of the first things our children learn. However, they are children, they are still learning and they are so distracted.  I get distracted, I forget, and I am often preoccupied by something that is seemingly more important to me. Why do I expect a different level of focus from my children than I expect from myself?

What would I tell my son if he yelled at his sister for tapping her pencil on the table incessantly? I would tell him to use your words. There is no reason to scream at someone. What do I tell my daughter when she pushes her brother for not listening? I tell her to use her words. I am pretty consistent with telling our children that they need to control their anger, use their words and find more productive ways to demonstrate their frustration. So, why is it so hard for me? My sinful nature, my selfishness and some times even my need for perfection gets in my way.

So as our family accepts this adventure to memorize a verse a week for the 2015 calendar year, I find myself dwelling on our first verse. I chose the verse to help our children understand how we should be treating each other. I think God chose this verse to help me see that I need to work on it first. :-) I just love how God works, and how He gently teaches me and molds my heart.

52 Weeks Have Come And Gone

Isaiah 58:10-11

if you pour yourself out for the hungry

    and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,

then shall your light rise in the darkness

    and your gloom be as the noonday.

11 

And the Lord will guide you continually

    and satisfy your desire in scorched places

    and make your bones strong;

and you shall be like a watered garden,

    like a spring of water,

    whose waters do not fail.

Toward the end of 2013, I was reading these verses and felt convicted to do more for my community, those in need and those I love. I challenged our family to take a 52 week adventure for the 2014 calendar year. Our goal would be to serve or bless a different person or group each week of the year. We have nine people in our family and would aim to have at least seven of them participate in each blessing. We would also strive to have no repeat activities in our 52 weeks. The original plan was to follow this four week pattern:

-one week of baking treats -one week of collecting or making something

-one week of helping an individual or group -one week of working with an organization

That was the original plan, and we followed it for the most part, but as we were taking this adventure, we found that it was also important for my husband and I to bless our own children (ages 2-14). We took the four extra weeks outside the above pattern to do something fun and special as a family. There was also one week where we were unable to serve because we had too many sick members of the family. We balanced that by completing two blessings a different week. 

Well, 2014 is over and it was honestly one of the best years our family has ever had. We have always strived to serve together, but we typically served about once a month. Changing our mindset from serving someone every month to "blessing" someone every week, made a huge difference. It has become a part of who we are. There have even been several times when the children have been asking when we would get to complete the blessing for the week. I would highly recommend you trying a similar adventure with your family!

Here are some of my favorite projects we did this year:

-Wal-mart gift cards....we took each child and gave them a gift card to hand to a random person in the superstore. We asked them to pray and think about whom God might want them to give this card to. It was truly amazing to watch our children walk up to people, hand them a gift card and tell them that they are sharing because Jesus has called us to bless others. It was awesome!

-Cards....we took the prayer list from the bulletin at church and made cards for the people on the list. These simple cards made by a child's hand touched these people so much that they sought us out and came to talk to us. Many of them had tears in their eyes. It is amazing how God can use a scribbled picture to bless His people. 

-Kids Against Hunger....we worked with the organization Kids Against Hunger to help pack several thousand meals for the starving children in the world. This is a great project that all the children could help with. 

-Rescue Worker Recognition....each year for the past several years, we have taken the time on 9/11 to make treats and gift baskets for the Firemen, Police Officers and Emergency Room workers that serve our community. It is always great to visit these places and share our gratitude for all they do.
-Warm Cocoa and muffins.....last January when the temperatures were far below zero, we made hot cocoa and warm muffins. We loaded up the car and delivered them to all the crossing guards in the town. Great fun!

There is truly nothing overly special about our family. We have our challenges just like all of you. We are not wealthy by societal measures and have pretty busy schedules. Our family was just able to complete this adventure because we accepted the challenge. I pray that you would think about accepting the same challenge with your family. You will not regret it!

Coming up with 52 different projects can be a bit overwhelming. I would encourage you to look at the people and places in your community, as they may be different than ours, but here are some ideas that we had. This is more than 52, (we did not complete all of these) so find the activities that are the best fit for you and your family. Most of all, pray for those you serve and have lots of fun!!

Bake Treats (everyone loves getting homemade snacks):

ER workers Policemen Teachers Ministry Staff  Mailman  

Bus Driver or Transit Personnel            Neighbors Construction Workers

Crossing Guards Library Workers or a place you go often Life guards or coaches

Firemen Meals on Wheels or Soup Kitchen

Collecting and Making (things your family can collect or make to bless others):

Blair's Foster Socks Operation Christmas Child Hats and Gloves

Food Pantry Blankets for NICU Pillowcase Dresses Toys for Tots

Angel Tree Pregnancy Crisis Center Picnic Table for Habitat for Humanity

Cards or notes for elderly, military or ill No Sew scarves No Sew blankets

Random Giving (just give to random people you run into....very fun!):

Flowers ….just because you’re loved Ice Cream Coupons Freezy Pops

Buy fast food for the person behind you cards for prayer list Gift Cards

Organizations to Volunteer for or with (be sure to call ahead and make arrangements):

Habitat for Humanity or their Restore sites Humane Society County Parks

Feed My Starving Children or Kids Against Hunger Christian Music Festival

Christian Camp Go on a Family Mission Trip NICU in hospital Nursing Home

VA or military organization Family Promise or Homeless Shelter Food Pantry

Crisis Pregnancy Center Reading to students at schools or library Soup Kitchen

Meals on Wheels Battered Women’s Shelter St. Vincent De Paul

Helping at your place of Worship (:

Usher Greet Bake snacks Teach Sunday School / VBS or Work in the Nursery

Sanitize Nursery and Sunday School Toys Purchase Needed Supplies

Help cut / glue or prep craft projects Run Sound or Technology equipment

Fold / stuff or help in the office Setting up tables and/or chairs

Random Cleaning (grab some cleaning wipes and trash bags):

fast food play land park bike trail water way / coastline

Neighborhood roads sanitizing school desks and chairs