Quick To Listen.....Slow To Become Angry

"Dear brothers and sisters, take not of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19

Wow, this verse has just been beating my behind this month. We have memorized it as a family, as part of our 2015 family adventure, but I think it is hitting me more than our children. Almost everyday I find myself being reminded of those words, after I had forgotten.

I know that this verse needs to completely work its way into my life, before I can expect it to work into the lives of my children. Children learn from example and from experience. I can lecture them and have chats with them, but their learning is most impacted by things they experience. This is way schools try to have as many "hands-on" activities as possible, especially at the elementary level. My children are learning a ton more from my actions than my words. I know that, you know that, so why is it so hard to live my life each and everyday in a way that is helpful and positively impactful to them?

I know that I am a busy mom, but is it really that hard to stop and listen to the ENTIRE story about why the juice is spilt on the table? "I know, you and your bother were fooling around and you knocked it over. It was an accident, I get it, just clean it up." But if I don't model listening, why should they take the time to listen? We practice listening to one another at meal times and during devotions, but isn't it just as important to listen when I am busy? This is a huge struggle for me!

I need to work on my listening skills. However, the second part of the verse is even more crippling to me. "Slow to become angry." Many will tell me often, how much patience I have and how great I am with our children. I usually graciously accept the compliment, but inside I am thinking, "if you only knew." I truly wish that my patience would last forever, but when it comes to telling you the 15th time to do something, the very thing I asked you 15 times to do yesterday, my patience moves out and anger moves in. It is not pretty.

Some will tell me that I have a right to be angry because our children should listen and obey. They are right about one thing, our children should listen and obey and that is why it is one of the first things our children learn. However, they are children, they are still learning and they are so distracted.  I get distracted, I forget, and I am often preoccupied by something that is seemingly more important to me. Why do I expect a different level of focus from my children than I expect from myself?

What would I tell my son if he yelled at his sister for tapping her pencil on the table incessantly? I would tell him to use your words. There is no reason to scream at someone. What do I tell my daughter when she pushes her brother for not listening? I tell her to use her words. I am pretty consistent with telling our children that they need to control their anger, use their words and find more productive ways to demonstrate their frustration. So, why is it so hard for me? My sinful nature, my selfishness and some times even my need for perfection gets in my way.

So as our family accepts this adventure to memorize a verse a week for the 2015 calendar year, I find myself dwelling on our first verse. I chose the verse to help our children understand how we should be treating each other. I think God chose this verse to help me see that I need to work on it first. :-) I just love how God works, and how He gently teaches me and molds my heart.