Proverbs Living

Many times when our lives are filled with busyness, I find myself with little time to sit quietly and read the scriptures. I know how vital reading the Word is to my daily life, so on those busy days I try to read a Proverb or two. A long time ago, I had a leader in my life show me that there is a Proverb written for each day of the month. So, since today is the 26th, I would read chapter 26 of Proverbs. It seems that no matter how many times I read Proverbs, there is always some new gem of wisdom that I find. Especially when raising so many little blessings.

The other day I was reading Proverbs 15. I was amazed at how many wonderful verses there were to help our children grow in the love and wisdom of Christ. It seemed to me that almost the whole chapter was devoted to how we want to discipline our children and how we want them to respond to our discipline. I read scriptures written hundreds or even thousands of years ago, and they fit the exact circumstance that we need in our home today......what an awesome God we serve.

Let's look at 15:1 for a moment: "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Wow, isn't that true. When we give or receive a harsh word the simple discussion we were having turns into a heated debate. Most likely an unnecessary heated debate. How different would our exchange have been if one or both of us could have maintained a soft answer? This is also seen is verse 18.

Now jump to 15:5, 15:10 and 15:32.  When we read these, we have verses that may help our children to understand the importance of listening to their parent's input. Many young people, especially teens feel the need to do the complete opposite of what their parent told them. These verses could help them see the foolishness in that. All teens need to work on becoming more independent and making their own choices, but that can be done while respectfully considering what their father or mother has said. Doing the complete opposite is a bit extreme. Helping teens to see they can make their own choice while still obeying their parents is a very important step in growing up.

Verses 2, 7 and 28 talk about holding our tongues and thinking before we speak. I know that is something we discuss all the time in our home. Just because you think it, doesn't mean it is wise for you to say it. Imagine how different our homes and lives would be if people chose to hold their tongues more often. I desire for our children to be like verse 7 and to spread knowledge not folly. An acronym I am sure you have heard of is THINK. Is what you are saying: T- true; H- helpful; I- important; N- necessary; and K- kind? I try to have our children say yes to at least 4 of the letters before they start spewing crazy details. Please, don't misunderstand me, this doesn't apply to every little thing the children are going to tell me; I love hearing about their day or an idea they have, but this is helpful when they are explaining an argument or are about to tattle or when they are just being mean to one of their siblings.

As you can see, reading a Proverb a day can be a great resource when raising your family. Let me encourage you to revisit the Proverbs if it has been awhile since you have read them. You never know what gem you will find to help you and your children live this blessed life you have been given.

End Of Detour

I had an opportunity recently to attend a women's/mom's mini retreat while our children were attending a local Vacation Bible School. It was very nice to spend five mornings with moms just sharing, encouraging and learning more about Christ. I made some new friends and connected with some old ones. There were many tasks that could have been completed at home in the time I spent at this retreat, but it was really great for my heart to rest with these ladies.

One day between speakers we were chatting at our table. A friend next to me was explaining how the road leading from her home to her work was now under construction and there was now a detour attempting to direct her on a new route. She continued to explain how her trip went the very first time she took the detour. I still remember the laughter in her voice as she detailed for us the way she entered the detour's first turn just to be greeted by a sign that read "End of Detour." "What?" she said, "how can this be the end of the detour? I just started and I am no where near where I want to be going!" It was quite comical, our whole table got a good laugh from the story.

How many times has God placed us on a journey where the detour ended, and we were no where near where we thought we were going? How many times have I thought this journey was just beginning, and there in front of me was an "End of Detour" sign? Honestly, I think this has happened hundreds of times during my life.

Here are some of the "end of detour" signs that have jumped into my path just when I thought a new journey was beginning, not ending. Let's start when Jim and I got married, I was sure we were at the beginning of a wonderful time and soon we would have some wonderful little ones to help make our family complete......God certainly had different plans and those six years waiting for children seemed like an extremely long time to wait at a detour. Or, what about the time we moved to a new state to start working in a new ministry just to have the leadership change and our help be no longer needed.....really, why did we move all this way just to be unemployed and only weeks from living on the streets? My heart still aches for the time when we excitedly told our family and friends we were expecting another blessing, just to be faced with a miscarriage days later. I for one can say that I don't always appreciate these "end of detour" signs.

 Here is the tough part for me: when I reach a detour I am frustrated that I can't go the way I want to, and when I look down the path I want to take and see no reason for the detour it frustrates me even more. My very thoughts are, "Clearly there is really nothing wrong with this road, this detour is just a waste of my time!" Guess what happens when I refuse to take the detour and continue past the road closed sign. I find the road really is closed, and now I am stuck with little or no room to turn around, and I end up on the exact detour I was trying to avoid. Seriously, what was I thinking? Do I really think that I know better then the designer of this plan? Well, yes, sometimes I think I do. It is completely foolish, I know! But this sinful being wants what she wants and is not fond of detours. (Wow, now I sound like my five year old) However, when I truly look at these situations and the many more I didn't list, I can see the loving hand of God leading and directing our family.

I LOVE our journey, I love where God has taken us and the sometimes painful lessons He has taught us. It really is amazing to me. He clearly knows what we need before we even know we need it. God knew our marriage wasn't ready for children and we had many steps to complete before we were really ready to grow our family. He knew He was going to bless us beyond measure with seven children, I just needed to be patient. God also knew that another ministry down the road is where we needed to be. He used the first ministry to put us in the right spot, but I truly believe the entire reason we moved was for the second ministry and ultimately, for our current ministry. He knew the skills we would need to obtain and the trials we would need to grow through. 

I clearly don't know more than the designer of this path! Even though my life seems to be filled with too many "end of detour" signs, I know that God is in control. I may not be anywhere near where I thought I was going, that doesn't matter to me, just as long as I am exactly where God wants me to be.

I pray that no matter where you are in your journey, whether it is driving smoothly down the road, covering some rough terrain or stopped at a detour, that you are exactly where God wants you to be. If you are unsure, let me encourage you to take time to pray and read the Bible. I am positive that God has some great plans for you and your family!

It Starts With Me

"It starts with me." I hate those words, and I really dislike the word hate. But, I really hate those words. There are days like today that I need to embrace those words and pray for a brighter tomorrow.

Today was one of those days. A day that was filled with too much whining, too much tattling, too many toys on the floor, too much laundry in the basket, too many commitments on the calendar and too little food left from the last trip to the grocery store to make a good dinner. Today was one of those days when the frustrations of the day built upon each other and compounded until this mommy explodes and everyone gets yelled at whether they needed it or not. 

I know that if I want my children to use kind words, I need to model that behavior and use my kind words. I know that if I want our children to control their temper, then I need to control mine. I know, really. I have read more parenting books than the average person, I have more children than the average person, I have worked with more children than the average person.....I know. I truly know what is expected of me and what I SHOULD be doing. I know, it starts with me. So, why is it so hard to do what I know?

It starts with me. It starts with me in the Word. It starts with me allowing myself to be filled by Him. I need to allow my heart to be changed and my life transformed to become more like Christ, so that when I am dealing with our children He shines through to them. I want my children to see much less of my sinful being and much more of Christ and the love and grace He has to offer them. 

Today was a personal failure. Today my children saw the worst side of their mom. But, today is also a day when I can model repentance and ask forgiveness for my poor behavior. Today is a day when my children see that I am not perfect, and I don't expect them to be either. Although I may have failed today, I need to allow Jesus to turn this day around and show these precious blessings that He has given me, that they are loved. Even when I am mad or frustrated, I love them and He loves them. 

Tomorrow is a new day, and I pray that it starts with me sharing the love, joy and peace of Christ with every word I say!