That Is Just How I Am.

"That is just how I am." It might be that I haven't been paying attention until recently, but I seem to be hearing that phrase more and more lately. And every time I hear it, my insides shout "NO!" Many times I want to tell them, "this is not who you are meant to be, this is whom you are choosing to be."

Recently a women from our community has asked me to mentor her. She has seen my life from the outside and believes she would be happier if she was more like me. I have explained to her that I am a mess, just like the rest of us, but I would be happy to walk along side her for awhile. So, the adventure began. We see each other at various events on a weekly basis, sometimes we meet outside of those events and sometimes she will call or text me when she feels she needs to talk. However, one of her favorite things to say when we are talking is, "that is just how I am."

This past weekend one of our daughters was invited to play in an orchestra workshop at the nearby college. They invite the top players from the area school districts for a day of learning that ends with a wonderful concert. In most orchestras you need to share a music stand with the person next to you. At this event you are often sharing a stand with someone you have never met before. Our daughter's stand mate this year was a self proclaimed mean person. During the event she said something about another group that was not nice, at which our daughter said, "that was kind of mean." She responded with, "yep, I am mean like that, it is just the way I am."

These are just two examples, I have many more. I understand that there has been a movement, at least in American society, to be more accepting of people and their unique differences. Overall, this is a good thing, we find less bias because of race, special needs, religious belief or economic situations. However, I think that many people are using this new movement as an excuse for their sin.

When I read the scriptures, I don't find any examples of believers that are content to be "just the way they are." When I look at scriptures I see people who desire to be forgiven, free and more like Christ. It is true that God loves us, and He loves us just the way we are. But it is also true that He loves us too much to leave us that way. He desires for us to "live lives to the full." Lives that are filled with joy, peace, good works and love. (John 10:10; Psalm 16:11; Acts 2:28; Acts 9:36) He desires for us to be a living example of His love, mercy and grace. (Acts 20:24; Titus 3:7; Isaiah 38:17; Jude 1:21) When we devote ourselves to the study of God's Word and to being a disciple of Christ, we are changing daily to become more and more like Him. We are not stuck in a sinful mold of "just the way I am."

Change is hard! Change is especially difficult for people who have chronic behaviors that are damaging to themselves and others. Change means that you will be walking an unfamiliar path and that can be scary. Allowing Christ to change your heart may mean He may change your friends or your habits, this can be uncomfortable. But think about it, what is the greater gift? A life of "just the way I am?" Or a little hard work and a life that is filled with God's amazing blessings?

I of course would encourage you to seek the latter. How do we change? Well, there is the tricky part, we can't really change ourselves. The best way is to allow the Holy Spirit to work in us and produce the change that Christ desires for our lives. Spend time each day reading our Bible, spend time each day praying or having a conversation with God, and spending time each day thinking about the changes we think God desires for our lives. There is another tricky part, when we desire to allow the Holy Spirit to mold us, His work is never done. Each and everyday we will be changing from "just the way I am," to just the way Christ wants me to be. What a blessing to have a God that loves us so much!

I pray that as we allow Christ to work in our lives, we may encourage those around us to take these unfamiliar steps. May our desire to be more like Christ, give others the courage to let go of "just who they are," to become just whom God wants them to be.