Your Children Are Amazing!

Can you remember back to the time your children were born? You held this infant in your arms and exclaimed, "he/she is amazing!" Look, she smiled. Look, he is holding his own bottle. Look, she is clapping. Oh, he said his first word. Everyday was filled with amazing adventures.

If you are anything like me, you may be finding things less amazing these days. I know that I am struggling with finding the amazement in being a taxi driver, short order cook, maid, tutor, event planner, cheerleader and all the other hats that moms are asked to wear each day. Because of my feelings, I have stopped seeing the amazement in our children. But, it occurred to me the other day that they are still amazing, I am just too distracted to notice.

Think about all the amazing things children do:
-some of them play instruments, that is amazing, can you still play an instrument?
-most of them sing songs, some of them even write their own songs as they go through their day....."I'm cleaning up my toys, cleaning up my toys and putting them in the bucket."
-they make or draw pictures for you on a regular basis; when was the last time you made a picture for someone just to tell them you love them?
-the majority of them work extremely hard on their homework; homework that doesn't look anything like the stuff we did, homework that manages to get more intense each year.
-most or all of your children are able to read. Just think about that, they can read. Reading is extremely difficult, it is amazing when a child can read.
-Chores....our children do chores everyday, it is not very often that I acknowledge them for it; I need to remember that these are all skills they are learning for their future, and they are doing an amazing job....even if it is not the way I would do it. :-)
-treating others with kindness and compassion; it is simply amazing how children learn to share, play nice and build friendships.
-not to mention the sports are children are involved in, the amount of time they spend practicing, preparing, playing and recovering while still completing their homework and other responsibilities is truly amazing
(I could keep going, but I am sure you have the idea)

Just looking at your children can lead you to see that they are amazing. They are God's amazing creations. They are accomplishing amazing tasks each and every day.

I would love to encourage you to tell your children today, that they are amazing. Tell them that you are proud of how hard they work, how they treat others with kindness and how much they help you. Even on the days when they seem to be driving you crazy, they are still amazing. One of my favorite movies has this quote, "When we look for the bad in people expecting to find it, we certainly will." I think that can also work in reverse. If we take the time to look for the good in our children, I am certain we will find it.....after all, they are simply amazing!

Our Children and Ferguson

The past few days have filled our home with many questions, feelings and worries. It is very strange to turn on the TV or listen to the news on the radio and hear about the violence, riots and protestors. It is not something we see everyday, thankfully.

As we have been reflecting on the situation, there are some topics that keep repeating themselves.  What have the discussions been like in your home? Here is a glimpse at ours:

"Aren't we suppose to listen to police officers?" Yes, yes you are. When a police officer is speaking to you and asks you to stop, you stop. When a police officer puts his lights on and wants you to pull over, you pull over. When a police officer asks you a question, you should answer it. (We will talk about getting a lawyer when they are older, but for now you should answer the question.)

"Isn't that somebody else's store?" Yes, yes it is. The building that those people just broke the windows to or have set on fire, it belongs to someone else. That building was bought with the owner's money, the supplies inside were bought with the owner's money and most likely the owner or his tenant has all of their personal items in the apartment upstairs. ......"I would be very sad if someone did that to my things. I think the owner is sad too." You are probably right dear.

"I thought there was only one race. Aren't we all just a different color of brown?"  Yes, yes we are. We are all humans made by an amazing God. We are only one race, just different shades of the same color. I don't know why more people don't see it the same way.

"Why are they so mad?" That is a difficult question to answer, because I don't know them personally. However, it seems to me that they are angry because they don't agree with the decision the grand jury made. "But, when I don't get my way, I'm not allowed to start things on fire and steal things." No, no you are not. It is hard for me to say why they think this is helping. It seems to me that more people might be willing to listen to them if they weren't breaking the law.

"I just don't understand, Mommy." I know, it is very difficult to understand. But, our daily life is very different from life in the inner city. Many people in the inner city have begun to feel almost hopeless. Many of them feel that their schools are not good, so their children won't ever get a good education. They are probably frustrated with the lack of jobs in their area and lack of opportunities for their children. I imagine that if I lived in the same circumstances, I might feel trapped and not really know how to express my frustration. If you start to feel like the whole world is against you, I bet you start to feel that the police are against you too. It doesn't really matter if it is true, because in extreme situations, your perception is your reality. We are very blessed to live where we are at!

"What can we do?" Well, I am not really sure what we can do for Ferguson. However, we certainly can do our part to keep others from feeling the same way. I think we should start by praying, praying for the police officers, praying for the people living in the cities in our country and praying that leaders will make decisions that help to unify not divide the country. We can also continue to help by serving those who might have needs they can't meet on their own. Finally, I think that it is important that we always remember that there is only ONE race. We need to remember that God made us all in His image and share that wonderful truth with all of our friends.

Although situations like the riots in Ferguson can be difficult to discuss, they can also be important opportunities for us to share the love Christ has for us and others with our children. May God be your guide as you continue to talk with your children about challenging situations.

Waiting For Mistakes

Today I am pleased to share with you a blog post that my husband has written for our church blog. I hope you enjoy his perspective and thoughts. Before you read on, let me ask you one question.....How is your 40 day prayer challenge going? Prayer is designed to help us align our hearts with God. I am excited about the things happening here in our local church, I hope your 40 day challenge is going well and that God is using you to bring Him glory in your congregation! Enjoy the post. 

Romans 8:31

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

A few weeks ago, I was cutting the grass at our home. To me, cutting the grass is a mindless job that gives me around 3 hours of thinking and praying time. This particular day, I began to think about some conversations that I recently had with a friend of mine. As I thought about some of the things that this friend said, I started to feel like my friend was just waiting for people to make mistakes. It was like my friend wanted to catch them making those mistakes. It began to feel to me like my friend was not for these people but rather against them.

Now I have learned through the years that God usually brings events like this to my attention to show me my own actions. This time, God began to show me that there are times when I parent the same way my friend is acting. How often do my kids get the feeling that I’m just waiting for them to make a mistake so that I can discipline them. At times, I have even created an atmosphere in our home where finding their mistakes seemed like the goal.

Why am I sharing this with you today? First of all, I want my kids to know that my goal is always to help them make good choices. How much different would life be if my kids thought that I was for them, that I always want them to succeed? As we grow, we will quite often relate our relationship with our parents to our relationship with God. How much different would life be if we believed that God was for us and always wants what is best for us? Now let me make one thing clear, being for my kids does NOT mean that I just look the other way when they make mistakes. I love my kids, and that means that I try to use their mistakes as teaching moments and try to teach my kids to make better choices. I want my kids to understand that I have their best interest in mind.  I’m not against them, I’m for them.

In the same way, we need to remember that God is not against us, He is for us. Why would He have His One and Only Son die for people who He is against? Instead, God is the One “who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.” He uses mistakes that we make to help teach us and change us because He knows that going down a different path will hurt us. When you love someone you don’t want to see them make choices that you know will eventually hurt them. God loves you, wants what is best for you, and always has your best interests in mind. He is not hovering over us waiting for us to make a mistake! He is walking with us, gently leading us and calling to us to follow His ways.

40 Day Church Prayer Challenge

I know there are plenty of 40 day challenges flying around our society these days, but I am being convicted to start a 40 day prayer challenge for the local church. I know we probably don’t go to the same church, but that doesn’t matter, I am convinced that each and every church can use some prayer. I just can’t help but feeling like the local church is under a great deal of pressure right now. It might be the recent legal action in Texas and Idaho, or maybe it is the financial struggles of our nation or maybe it is just an unrest in my soul. Whatever it might be, I am going to spend the next 40 days praying for our church, it’s leaders, members, guests and neighbors. I hope you will consider joining me! I know that your church, it’s leaders, members guests and neighbors will be blessed.

My plan is to start praying on November 1st and continue until December 10th. (You can certainly choose the dates that work best for you!) This will cover our church while everyone is preparing for the Christmas season, a season when many visitors will enter our doors, and many who don’t know Christ will be seeking to find some direction. It seems like the perfect time to make an impact for the Kingdom.

At first, I was attempting to find a different group of people to pray for each day of the challenge. Our church is fairly small, so I fell short and only came up with 27 groups to pray for. I have included the list just because it might help you come up with ideas of your own. I have decided that I will be using a 7 day rotation, this way I will be praying for each major group of people several times during the challenge. The rotation I will be using looks like this:

Day 1-Pastors and Ministers

Day 2-Boards and Committees

Day 3-Volunteers and Employees

Day 4-Members and Guests

Day 5-Outreach and Church Ministries

Day 6-Community Residence

Day 7-Christians throughout the world

I pray that you and your family will consider accepting my challenge to pray for your local church for the next 40 days. I am so excited to see what our churches will be inspired to do with this little bit of extra prayer, and how many souls we are going to be able to reach this Christmas season!

Prayer List Ideas:

1-Pastors

2-Ministers

3-Council or Board

4-Host Team

5-Lay Leaders

6-Choir or band

7-Behind the scenes (tech crew, altar guild, and such)

8-Sunday school teachers

9-Small group leaders

10-Youth volunteers

11-outreach ministries

12-nursery workers

13-cleaners and repair persons

14-Secretaries, Receptionists and Administrative assistants

15-Committees

16-Children

17-Youth

18-Singles

19-Marriages

20-Families

21-Seniors

22-Members or Regular attendees

23-Occasional attendees

24-Guests

25-Community members in our sphere

26-Community members in need

27-Christians all over the World

The End Of The Rope

This is a brutally honest post, a reflection on how I have been feeling the last several days. I pray that if you are feeling similar, that you will know you are not alone. May God be glorified in your home, and may your heart and mind be filled with Christ Jesus!

The end of the rope

How did I get here?

The rope seems so long, strong and endless

But here is the end, the end, the end

I am not quite sure what to do

Let go, hang on, climb up,  

How much strength do I have left?

How much longer can I stay right here?

I think I'm scared

It is just as hard to let go, as to climb back up

But I can't just stay here, 

I must do something, but what? 

My head knows what to do.

It tells me that there will be troubles in this world,

But Christ has overcome the world

My heart isn't listening

My heart is heavy and broken

Trapped by an all consuming weight 

It doesn't see the Joy or Love the head sees

I don't think it can see at all these days

My head is telling my heart to lay down the burden

It is talking about an easy yoke and a burden that's light.

My heart can't see, it can't see the easy yoke, it can't see

My heart can't see here at the end of the rope

I must do something, do something

The end of the rope is scary, I shouldn't look at the end

The beginning of the rope is too high, I'll never make it there

Where should I look, what should I do?

Fix my eyes, fix my eyes on a mid point

The mid point is still too high, I'm not strong enough to make it there

Fix my eyes, but fix my eyes where on the rope?

The rope is too challenging, I don't want to look at the rope

Fix my eyes, fix my eyes off the rope?

My mind is telling me to fix my eyes on Jesus

Fix my eyes on Jesus, not the rope?

Fixing my eyes on Him may help my heart see, even at the end of the rope, my heart might see

My head is right, fixing on Jesus does seem better

Fixing my eyes on Jesus hasn't changed that I am at the end of the rope

But now, I see Jesus at the end of the rope with me 

He is with me, He is lifting my heart

Fixing my eyes on Jesus, at the end of the rope, He helps my heart to see

He helps my heart to see at the end of the rope

My heart is still heavy, I am still a bit scared

But I know I am not alone at the end of my rope



*****It seems my words may have conveyed a sense of despair instead of the attitude of melancholy I intended. Please know that I am not suicidal or even depressed. I thought of sharing these words because so many people think that I and many others they see in church, don't have great struggles, or always have an easy life. We don't. We have high mountains and low valleys just like you. I know my words convey a sense of overwhelmed conditions, a place where I can not make it on my own. This however, is often the best place to be with your faith. I know without a doubt that God is holding me in His hand and guiding my steps. These are steps I could not take all on my own. When this struggle is over or when my heart is no longer heavy, I will be able to look back and know without a doubt that God is the one that brought me through this moment. I will know that He is working in my life and guiding me through, I will know because there is no way I could have made it through the struggle completely on my own. I will once again know without a doubt, that the God that is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, knows my name and cares for me! I pray that when these words ring true in your life, that you would also know how much He loves YOU!

Me No Like That!

With a family our size, it is extremely difficult to find meals, activities, or entertainment, that everyone will enjoy. Sometimes it is more than difficult, sometimes it is down right frustrating. I am certain that if you have two or more children, you know exactly what I am talking about. Some days that can't even agree on the show they are going to watch for quiet time. So begins the argument.

We have been spending a great deal of time lately looking at our choices. We are looking at how our choices affect others, how our choices affect us and what might be the best choice we can make. It is tough, it is tough to get them to look beyond what they WANT to what might be best. But, there is some amazing learning taking place. Let me try to explain.

In our home there is a time in the early morning when children can choose a show to watch. Typically the first person awake gets to pick the show. Well, the two year old isn't too fond of this idea. He ALWAYS wants to watch "Curious George," he thinks it should always be his pick. We have had plenty of disagreements over the morning shows. However, I am happy to say that after examining our decision making process we are now usually able to come up with some compromises that involve no loud voices and no tears. Using our words, we all talk about what we would like, then what we would accept, or if we are willing to complete a task during this show and then return to watch a show a bit later. We still have some rough mornings, but the majority of them see good compromises.

We also have troubles sharing toys or items we want to play with. Again the hardest person to work with is the two year old, as he feels all the toys are his. In these situations we have asked the older children to find their little brother a similar toy or find a way to include him in their activity. This strategy works often, but sometimes we hear the phrase, "me no like that!" At that point, the real negotiating begins. If trading, taking turns or finding a similar toy doesn't work, we now have made some activity boxes that can usually completely distract him. He soon forgets what his brother has and is overjoyed with is pan of field corn kernels and small construction trucks.

These days are tough days with the two year old and his "me no like that," attitude. However, as I have been trying to work through these situations with him, I can clearly see the same attitude being displayed by some of the older members of our family and even some of our friends. I am wondering how do you get to be 14 or 25 or even 40 and still have a "me no like that," attitude. Did we not emphasize compromise when we had fewer children?

Let me encourage you to spend sometime emphasizing the need to compromise with our toys, shows and family activities. In my opinion our world has way too many people that want what they want when they want it. I have seen it at the grocery store, at the playground and even at church. People replace their good manners for fairly selfish demands, and see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I know that none of us want our children to grow up to become the "scene makers" at the store. Let's all work on teaching our children polite ways to say "no" and effective ways to move past the "me no like that" attitudes, I think we will truly enjoy the benefits of this hard work.

What's Your Story?

We had the opportunity to spend some quality time together at a Family Retreat last weekend. It was really nice! Great time to spend canoeing on the lake, gathering around the campfire, playing kickball, collecting rocks, connecting with other families and worshiping God together. If you find a family camp or retreat near you, I highly recommend you make time for it.

One of our sessions at the retreat was about stories. Our children hear and read tons of stories as they grow. Most of these stories are fiction or not true. This is different than most of the history of our world. Up until the last few decades, most stories being told by a family where true (or at least based on a true event) and told by family members around the table or at family gatherings. The times together were spent sharing Bible stories, fishing stories, stories about silly things Uncle Jimmy did when he was little, stories about how Grandpa and Grandma fell in love, and stories about how "life" use to be. You could trust the people telling you the stories and knew that even if there was a bit of exaggeration included for effect, the meaning of the story was true and part of your family's uniqueness.

Our session on stories encouraged all of us to think of true situations in our lives where we knew God had been present and demonstrated His great love for us. It was really interesting to hear what the children thought of as a special blessing from God. Many of our children needed to think for several minutes, but having my husband and I share stories first really helped them. Here is some of what we shared with each other:
     -My husband shared about a time when we were trying to buy "the perfect house," only for us to loose it because of a technicality. If we would have bought that house, our lives would be completely different now. (different job, different coach, different dance center, different church, etc.) God had a plan and that house was not part of it, even though we thought it was perfect. We are so glad we didn't get "the perfect house" now.
     -I shared a story about a time when we were trying to take a trip. I had an agenda and we NEEDED to leave by a certain time in order to meet my agenda. Well, we didn't, we were several hours late. I was so frustrated! However, as we journeyed on our trip we came to a deadly multi-car accident. An accident we probably would have been a part of if we would have left on time. I have never been so thankful to be running late. God had a different plan and I am thankful.
     -Our children shared stories about their dance class, their ability to join our family, their friendships and our church.
It was really a wonderful session. It was great to have the children think about how God is working in their lives and hear them tell the story.

Ok, that was fun, but what is the point really? Well, in our society today it is often difficult to talk to others about Christ and His amazing love. We often hear things like, "that is great if you want to believe that, but I don't believe in God;" or "you can't prove that their is a God;" or "God is just a myth, He isn't real." There are many things that people say about God and our faith. They even have research and science to back up their arguments. Many feel there is nothing we can say to people like this that will help them see the love of Christ. However, our session shared with us that NO ONE can argue with your story. Your story is true and it happen to you, so there is really nothing they can say to disqualify your statements. It is a great way to help others see the amazing things God is doing in the world around them. Stories are a great tool that God can use to help others learn about Him.

I think that we should think about our stories a couple of times a year, thinking of new stories each time. This will help our own children see the great things God is doing in their lives. It will help grow their faith and help them be prepared to share their stories with others. God is calling us to impact the world for His Kingdom, and now we can do that one story at a time.