Quick To Listen.....Slow To Become Angry

"Dear brothers and sisters, take not of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19

Wow, this verse has just been beating my behind this month. We have memorized it as a family, as part of our 2015 family adventure, but I think it is hitting me more than our children. Almost everyday I find myself being reminded of those words, after I had forgotten.

I know that this verse needs to completely work its way into my life, before I can expect it to work into the lives of my children. Children learn from example and from experience. I can lecture them and have chats with them, but their learning is most impacted by things they experience. This is way schools try to have as many "hands-on" activities as possible, especially at the elementary level. My children are learning a ton more from my actions than my words. I know that, you know that, so why is it so hard to live my life each and everyday in a way that is helpful and positively impactful to them?

I know that I am a busy mom, but is it really that hard to stop and listen to the ENTIRE story about why the juice is spilt on the table? "I know, you and your bother were fooling around and you knocked it over. It was an accident, I get it, just clean it up." But if I don't model listening, why should they take the time to listen? We practice listening to one another at meal times and during devotions, but isn't it just as important to listen when I am busy? This is a huge struggle for me!

I need to work on my listening skills. However, the second part of the verse is even more crippling to me. "Slow to become angry." Many will tell me often, how much patience I have and how great I am with our children. I usually graciously accept the compliment, but inside I am thinking, "if you only knew." I truly wish that my patience would last forever, but when it comes to telling you the 15th time to do something, the very thing I asked you 15 times to do yesterday, my patience moves out and anger moves in. It is not pretty.

Some will tell me that I have a right to be angry because our children should listen and obey. They are right about one thing, our children should listen and obey and that is why it is one of the first things our children learn. However, they are children, they are still learning and they are so distracted.  I get distracted, I forget, and I am often preoccupied by something that is seemingly more important to me. Why do I expect a different level of focus from my children than I expect from myself?

What would I tell my son if he yelled at his sister for tapping her pencil on the table incessantly? I would tell him to use your words. There is no reason to scream at someone. What do I tell my daughter when she pushes her brother for not listening? I tell her to use her words. I am pretty consistent with telling our children that they need to control their anger, use their words and find more productive ways to demonstrate their frustration. So, why is it so hard for me? My sinful nature, my selfishness and some times even my need for perfection gets in my way.

So as our family accepts this adventure to memorize a verse a week for the 2015 calendar year, I find myself dwelling on our first verse. I chose the verse to help our children understand how we should be treating each other. I think God chose this verse to help me see that I need to work on it first. :-) I just love how God works, and how He gently teaches me and molds my heart.

52 Weeks Have Come And Gone

Isaiah 58:10-11

if you pour yourself out for the hungry

    and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,

then shall your light rise in the darkness

    and your gloom be as the noonday.

11 

And the Lord will guide you continually

    and satisfy your desire in scorched places

    and make your bones strong;

and you shall be like a watered garden,

    like a spring of water,

    whose waters do not fail.

Toward the end of 2013, I was reading these verses and felt convicted to do more for my community, those in need and those I love. I challenged our family to take a 52 week adventure for the 2014 calendar year. Our goal would be to serve or bless a different person or group each week of the year. We have nine people in our family and would aim to have at least seven of them participate in each blessing. We would also strive to have no repeat activities in our 52 weeks. The original plan was to follow this four week pattern:

-one week of baking treats -one week of collecting or making something

-one week of helping an individual or group -one week of working with an organization

That was the original plan, and we followed it for the most part, but as we were taking this adventure, we found that it was also important for my husband and I to bless our own children (ages 2-14). We took the four extra weeks outside the above pattern to do something fun and special as a family. There was also one week where we were unable to serve because we had too many sick members of the family. We balanced that by completing two blessings a different week. 

Well, 2014 is over and it was honestly one of the best years our family has ever had. We have always strived to serve together, but we typically served about once a month. Changing our mindset from serving someone every month to "blessing" someone every week, made a huge difference. It has become a part of who we are. There have even been several times when the children have been asking when we would get to complete the blessing for the week. I would highly recommend you trying a similar adventure with your family!

Here are some of my favorite projects we did this year:

-Wal-mart gift cards....we took each child and gave them a gift card to hand to a random person in the superstore. We asked them to pray and think about whom God might want them to give this card to. It was truly amazing to watch our children walk up to people, hand them a gift card and tell them that they are sharing because Jesus has called us to bless others. It was awesome!

-Cards....we took the prayer list from the bulletin at church and made cards for the people on the list. These simple cards made by a child's hand touched these people so much that they sought us out and came to talk to us. Many of them had tears in their eyes. It is amazing how God can use a scribbled picture to bless His people. 

-Kids Against Hunger....we worked with the organization Kids Against Hunger to help pack several thousand meals for the starving children in the world. This is a great project that all the children could help with. 

-Rescue Worker Recognition....each year for the past several years, we have taken the time on 9/11 to make treats and gift baskets for the Firemen, Police Officers and Emergency Room workers that serve our community. It is always great to visit these places and share our gratitude for all they do.
-Warm Cocoa and muffins.....last January when the temperatures were far below zero, we made hot cocoa and warm muffins. We loaded up the car and delivered them to all the crossing guards in the town. Great fun!

There is truly nothing overly special about our family. We have our challenges just like all of you. We are not wealthy by societal measures and have pretty busy schedules. Our family was just able to complete this adventure because we accepted the challenge. I pray that you would think about accepting the same challenge with your family. You will not regret it!

Coming up with 52 different projects can be a bit overwhelming. I would encourage you to look at the people and places in your community, as they may be different than ours, but here are some ideas that we had. This is more than 52, (we did not complete all of these) so find the activities that are the best fit for you and your family. Most of all, pray for those you serve and have lots of fun!!

Bake Treats (everyone loves getting homemade snacks):

ER workers Policemen Teachers Ministry Staff  Mailman  

Bus Driver or Transit Personnel            Neighbors Construction Workers

Crossing Guards Library Workers or a place you go often Life guards or coaches

Firemen Meals on Wheels or Soup Kitchen

Collecting and Making (things your family can collect or make to bless others):

Blair's Foster Socks Operation Christmas Child Hats and Gloves

Food Pantry Blankets for NICU Pillowcase Dresses Toys for Tots

Angel Tree Pregnancy Crisis Center Picnic Table for Habitat for Humanity

Cards or notes for elderly, military or ill No Sew scarves No Sew blankets

Random Giving (just give to random people you run into....very fun!):

Flowers ….just because you’re loved Ice Cream Coupons Freezy Pops

Buy fast food for the person behind you cards for prayer list Gift Cards

Organizations to Volunteer for or with (be sure to call ahead and make arrangements):

Habitat for Humanity or their Restore sites Humane Society County Parks

Feed My Starving Children or Kids Against Hunger Christian Music Festival

Christian Camp Go on a Family Mission Trip NICU in hospital Nursing Home

VA or military organization Family Promise or Homeless Shelter Food Pantry

Crisis Pregnancy Center Reading to students at schools or library Soup Kitchen

Meals on Wheels Battered Women’s Shelter St. Vincent De Paul

Helping at your place of Worship (:

Usher Greet Bake snacks Teach Sunday School / VBS or Work in the Nursery

Sanitize Nursery and Sunday School Toys Purchase Needed Supplies

Help cut / glue or prep craft projects Run Sound or Technology equipment

Fold / stuff or help in the office Setting up tables and/or chairs

Random Cleaning (grab some cleaning wipes and trash bags):

fast food play land park bike trail water way / coastline

Neighborhood roads sanitizing school desks and chairs

Living Like A Christmas Card

'Tis the season for twinkling lights, singing carols, baking treats and making gifts. Now that I have a family of my own, this is really one of my favorite times of the year. However, it can become quite busy and somewhat overwhelming at the same time. I for one still have presents and cards to mail. The hustle and bustle of the last few weeks has left me with little or no time to complete the extra items I have added to my list. It seems that many I talk to are "stressed" this time of year, including me.

Then I heard it, someone say "Have you read the Christmas Cards you have received? What if we lived our lives like those cards, everyday?"

What an amazing concept! When I go read the Christmas Cards we have received,  I find messages of good news and great joy. There are messages encouraging us to spread the love and peace of Christ to everyone. Others talk about the need for us to seek the King each and everyday. Still others are filled with pictures of joy filled faces wanting to share the love and blessings God has given this past year.

I absolutely love our Christmas Card display and the wonderful messages we have received from friends. I think this year we might leave it up a bit longer, and incorporate it into our family devotions. We could re-read one card each night and then decide as a family how we can live out the message we have received.

What might we do to spread love and peace? How can we be sure to seek the King each and everyday? Can we live a life that shows the joy we have in Christ to those around us? I know we will have rough days, but if we remind ourselves of the great messages we have received maybe our Christmas celebration can last far into the New Year. After all, Christ was born for us each and everyday of the year, not just in December.

May you and your family have a blessed New Year and may you know each and everyday that Jesus Christ is the true reason for every season!

Your Children Are Amazing!

Can you remember back to the time your children were born? You held this infant in your arms and exclaimed, "he/she is amazing!" Look, she smiled. Look, he is holding his own bottle. Look, she is clapping. Oh, he said his first word. Everyday was filled with amazing adventures.

If you are anything like me, you may be finding things less amazing these days. I know that I am struggling with finding the amazement in being a taxi driver, short order cook, maid, tutor, event planner, cheerleader and all the other hats that moms are asked to wear each day. Because of my feelings, I have stopped seeing the amazement in our children. But, it occurred to me the other day that they are still amazing, I am just too distracted to notice.

Think about all the amazing things children do:
-some of them play instruments, that is amazing, can you still play an instrument?
-most of them sing songs, some of them even write their own songs as they go through their day....."I'm cleaning up my toys, cleaning up my toys and putting them in the bucket."
-they make or draw pictures for you on a regular basis; when was the last time you made a picture for someone just to tell them you love them?
-the majority of them work extremely hard on their homework; homework that doesn't look anything like the stuff we did, homework that manages to get more intense each year.
-most or all of your children are able to read. Just think about that, they can read. Reading is extremely difficult, it is amazing when a child can read.
-Chores....our children do chores everyday, it is not very often that I acknowledge them for it; I need to remember that these are all skills they are learning for their future, and they are doing an amazing job....even if it is not the way I would do it. :-)
-treating others with kindness and compassion; it is simply amazing how children learn to share, play nice and build friendships.
-not to mention the sports are children are involved in, the amount of time they spend practicing, preparing, playing and recovering while still completing their homework and other responsibilities is truly amazing
(I could keep going, but I am sure you have the idea)

Just looking at your children can lead you to see that they are amazing. They are God's amazing creations. They are accomplishing amazing tasks each and every day.

I would love to encourage you to tell your children today, that they are amazing. Tell them that you are proud of how hard they work, how they treat others with kindness and how much they help you. Even on the days when they seem to be driving you crazy, they are still amazing. One of my favorite movies has this quote, "When we look for the bad in people expecting to find it, we certainly will." I think that can also work in reverse. If we take the time to look for the good in our children, I am certain we will find it.....after all, they are simply amazing!

Our Children and Ferguson

The past few days have filled our home with many questions, feelings and worries. It is very strange to turn on the TV or listen to the news on the radio and hear about the violence, riots and protestors. It is not something we see everyday, thankfully.

As we have been reflecting on the situation, there are some topics that keep repeating themselves.  What have the discussions been like in your home? Here is a glimpse at ours:

"Aren't we suppose to listen to police officers?" Yes, yes you are. When a police officer is speaking to you and asks you to stop, you stop. When a police officer puts his lights on and wants you to pull over, you pull over. When a police officer asks you a question, you should answer it. (We will talk about getting a lawyer when they are older, but for now you should answer the question.)

"Isn't that somebody else's store?" Yes, yes it is. The building that those people just broke the windows to or have set on fire, it belongs to someone else. That building was bought with the owner's money, the supplies inside were bought with the owner's money and most likely the owner or his tenant has all of their personal items in the apartment upstairs. ......"I would be very sad if someone did that to my things. I think the owner is sad too." You are probably right dear.

"I thought there was only one race. Aren't we all just a different color of brown?"  Yes, yes we are. We are all humans made by an amazing God. We are only one race, just different shades of the same color. I don't know why more people don't see it the same way.

"Why are they so mad?" That is a difficult question to answer, because I don't know them personally. However, it seems to me that they are angry because they don't agree with the decision the grand jury made. "But, when I don't get my way, I'm not allowed to start things on fire and steal things." No, no you are not. It is hard for me to say why they think this is helping. It seems to me that more people might be willing to listen to them if they weren't breaking the law.

"I just don't understand, Mommy." I know, it is very difficult to understand. But, our daily life is very different from life in the inner city. Many people in the inner city have begun to feel almost hopeless. Many of them feel that their schools are not good, so their children won't ever get a good education. They are probably frustrated with the lack of jobs in their area and lack of opportunities for their children. I imagine that if I lived in the same circumstances, I might feel trapped and not really know how to express my frustration. If you start to feel like the whole world is against you, I bet you start to feel that the police are against you too. It doesn't really matter if it is true, because in extreme situations, your perception is your reality. We are very blessed to live where we are at!

"What can we do?" Well, I am not really sure what we can do for Ferguson. However, we certainly can do our part to keep others from feeling the same way. I think we should start by praying, praying for the police officers, praying for the people living in the cities in our country and praying that leaders will make decisions that help to unify not divide the country. We can also continue to help by serving those who might have needs they can't meet on their own. Finally, I think that it is important that we always remember that there is only ONE race. We need to remember that God made us all in His image and share that wonderful truth with all of our friends.

Although situations like the riots in Ferguson can be difficult to discuss, they can also be important opportunities for us to share the love Christ has for us and others with our children. May God be your guide as you continue to talk with your children about challenging situations.

Waiting For Mistakes

Today I am pleased to share with you a blog post that my husband has written for our church blog. I hope you enjoy his perspective and thoughts. Before you read on, let me ask you one question.....How is your 40 day prayer challenge going? Prayer is designed to help us align our hearts with God. I am excited about the things happening here in our local church, I hope your 40 day challenge is going well and that God is using you to bring Him glory in your congregation! Enjoy the post. 

Romans 8:31

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

A few weeks ago, I was cutting the grass at our home. To me, cutting the grass is a mindless job that gives me around 3 hours of thinking and praying time. This particular day, I began to think about some conversations that I recently had with a friend of mine. As I thought about some of the things that this friend said, I started to feel like my friend was just waiting for people to make mistakes. It was like my friend wanted to catch them making those mistakes. It began to feel to me like my friend was not for these people but rather against them.

Now I have learned through the years that God usually brings events like this to my attention to show me my own actions. This time, God began to show me that there are times when I parent the same way my friend is acting. How often do my kids get the feeling that I’m just waiting for them to make a mistake so that I can discipline them. At times, I have even created an atmosphere in our home where finding their mistakes seemed like the goal.

Why am I sharing this with you today? First of all, I want my kids to know that my goal is always to help them make good choices. How much different would life be if my kids thought that I was for them, that I always want them to succeed? As we grow, we will quite often relate our relationship with our parents to our relationship with God. How much different would life be if we believed that God was for us and always wants what is best for us? Now let me make one thing clear, being for my kids does NOT mean that I just look the other way when they make mistakes. I love my kids, and that means that I try to use their mistakes as teaching moments and try to teach my kids to make better choices. I want my kids to understand that I have their best interest in mind.  I’m not against them, I’m for them.

In the same way, we need to remember that God is not against us, He is for us. Why would He have His One and Only Son die for people who He is against? Instead, God is the One “who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.” He uses mistakes that we make to help teach us and change us because He knows that going down a different path will hurt us. When you love someone you don’t want to see them make choices that you know will eventually hurt them. God loves you, wants what is best for you, and always has your best interests in mind. He is not hovering over us waiting for us to make a mistake! He is walking with us, gently leading us and calling to us to follow His ways.

40 Day Church Prayer Challenge

I know there are plenty of 40 day challenges flying around our society these days, but I am being convicted to start a 40 day prayer challenge for the local church. I know we probably don’t go to the same church, but that doesn’t matter, I am convinced that each and every church can use some prayer. I just can’t help but feeling like the local church is under a great deal of pressure right now. It might be the recent legal action in Texas and Idaho, or maybe it is the financial struggles of our nation or maybe it is just an unrest in my soul. Whatever it might be, I am going to spend the next 40 days praying for our church, it’s leaders, members, guests and neighbors. I hope you will consider joining me! I know that your church, it’s leaders, members guests and neighbors will be blessed.

My plan is to start praying on November 1st and continue until December 10th. (You can certainly choose the dates that work best for you!) This will cover our church while everyone is preparing for the Christmas season, a season when many visitors will enter our doors, and many who don’t know Christ will be seeking to find some direction. It seems like the perfect time to make an impact for the Kingdom.

At first, I was attempting to find a different group of people to pray for each day of the challenge. Our church is fairly small, so I fell short and only came up with 27 groups to pray for. I have included the list just because it might help you come up with ideas of your own. I have decided that I will be using a 7 day rotation, this way I will be praying for each major group of people several times during the challenge. The rotation I will be using looks like this:

Day 1-Pastors and Ministers

Day 2-Boards and Committees

Day 3-Volunteers and Employees

Day 4-Members and Guests

Day 5-Outreach and Church Ministries

Day 6-Community Residence

Day 7-Christians throughout the world

I pray that you and your family will consider accepting my challenge to pray for your local church for the next 40 days. I am so excited to see what our churches will be inspired to do with this little bit of extra prayer, and how many souls we are going to be able to reach this Christmas season!

Prayer List Ideas:

1-Pastors

2-Ministers

3-Council or Board

4-Host Team

5-Lay Leaders

6-Choir or band

7-Behind the scenes (tech crew, altar guild, and such)

8-Sunday school teachers

9-Small group leaders

10-Youth volunteers

11-outreach ministries

12-nursery workers

13-cleaners and repair persons

14-Secretaries, Receptionists and Administrative assistants

15-Committees

16-Children

17-Youth

18-Singles

19-Marriages

20-Families

21-Seniors

22-Members or Regular attendees

23-Occasional attendees

24-Guests

25-Community members in our sphere

26-Community members in need

27-Christians all over the World