This is the final part of three in a series entitled "God in our everyday," which was inspired by another parent asking me how our family includes God in our everyday events. I certainly don't have all the answers, this is just me sharing with you! I would love for you to share some ideas with me on how you help your children see that God is with us everyday.
Another way that we help our children see that God is part of every aspect of our lives is by including Him in our studies. Now we use a regular curriculum and do not spend time each day completing a religion curriculum or Bible workbook. However, in many things that we study we can see that God had a hand in the situation. Almost everything in science is an example of God's amazing gifts and the divine design that He has for this world. Much of history surrounds people defending their faith or being challenged because of it. When talking about the environment we discuss good stewardship of the earth we have been entrusted with. If someone is struggling with their studies we help to point out the great talents that God has given them and how we are told that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. One of the goals is for our children to not only to learn what the "educators" feel is important, but also of the great LOVE God has for us and how God's best plan is truly the best choice.
We are also very cautious when our children are enjoying a media production. For the most part, our children do not watch, read or listen to something that we have not researched and have approved. There are many productions out there that seem harmless enough, but when you continue to look into them you see otherwise. A great deal of the time, we will also talk about what we have just watched or listened to. This is a wonderful practice for families because it teaches kids to look critically at what the media production is really trying to teach, and it helps them learn what concepts they should be looking for. Ultimately the goal is for them to build a skill that will allow them to make great choices all on their own.
Please don't misunderstand me....our children are sinners just like the rest, they make mistakes just like all of us, and everything I wrote about in this series is a process. We are much better at somethings than others, but these are some of the things that we strive to do with our family. Remembering our goal, of saving faith in Christ, we do our best to guide our days. Each step of the way, the idea is for our children to learn skills that will help them to be lifelong Christians....skills that will help them realize that our faith is truly WHO WE ARE, it is not something that just happens on Sunday mornings....skills that will guide them through the rocky world set before them, when we and not around....skills that will help them to seek out God's best plan for them in every situation.
May God truly bless you and your family as you strive to emphasize that God is part of your everyday as well!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
God In Our Everyday (part 2)
This is the second part of three in a series entitled "God in our everyday," which was inspired by another parent asking me how our family includes God in our everyday events. I certainly don't have all the answers, this is just me sharing with you!
There are many little sayings we have in our home (some serious and some funny) that help us remember that we our children of our Heavenly Father. I have said them so often, that now the children have started saying some of them to each other.....
-"You are beautiful because God made you that way" (it is not because of what you wear or what you do or what other's think. There is an entire post about this entitled "You Are Beautiful.");
-"People are a precious gift from God" (therefore we do not hit, pretend shoot, or hurt people; we show Christ love to people around us);
-"A joy filled heart makes a cheerful face" (there is no pouting or making mad faces, our hearts our filled with the Joy of Christ, so even though we may be sad we need to remember the Joy we have in Christ. Our children are certainly allowed to be sad or upset, however, we don't want them dwelling on their sad situation, we want them looking at it with new eyes and seeing how to address the situation in a way that will help them not be sad or upset. This comes from a desire for them to work through their problems, not dwell on them.);
-"Your job is to listen and obey" (this comes from Ephesians 6:1 and is one of the first things our children learn. This in no way means that they are not allowed to share their opinions or speak freely, what this means is when we disagree their job is to respect the authority God has given us and do what we asked even if they would prefer to do something else. I know that some of you will think this is very harsh, but it truly is not. We desire for our children to learn obedience as we want them to be obedient to God's Word, this is simply a way for them to practice this obedience; it also helps to keep them safe. If you are running out into the street and don't see the car that just turned the corner and I ask you to stop, I NEED you to obey now, not have a discussion with me about it.);
These next ones are more of a responses to situations and less just plain phrases:
-When asked what we are having for dinner, my response most times is ..."we are not eating dinner today, we are fasting." (This is not meant at all to undermine the benefits of fasting or the spiritual gains that come from fasting. My husband and I have both fasted at different times and for different reasons. This is just a simple phrase that I use to help my children see that there are things more important than food that we should be focused on. We do feed our children and have never forced them to fast.)
_When asked why they can not watch a certain movie or listen to a certain song, my response is typically....."God has told us to guard our hearts, and minds." (We feel it is very important to help children learn what is going to be harmful to them. We have taught our children to turn away when something we are not expecting comes on the TV or is part of a movie. Their innocence and purity can be lost with just one vivid picture. This is becoming increasingly difficult, but as we continue to discuss media that harms our spirit, they continually grow stronger and make wise decisions for themselves.
-When our children say something like..."I'm starving." We will respond with "no you're not, your name is _________; I remember I was there when we named you." Our preschool age son will then say "my tummy is starving." (makes me smile) There are two things here we would like our kiddos to learn. First is simply to ask, "may I please have something to eat?" But, more importantly we point out that our children have never been starving. They have never gone more than a few hours without food. There are children in this world that truly are starving. There are children/people in this world that are eating rocks because they just desire to have something in their stomachs. We are asking our children to be grateful for the food they have and to remember that they are richly blessed, even when they are feeling hungry.
I hope these words bless and encourage you in some way. I know that I have a lot to learn, and that this journey of parenting is long. Thank you so much for walking it with me. I would love to hear some phrases or responses you use in your family that help encourage your family in their faith!
There are many little sayings we have in our home (some serious and some funny) that help us remember that we our children of our Heavenly Father. I have said them so often, that now the children have started saying some of them to each other.....
-"You are beautiful because God made you that way" (it is not because of what you wear or what you do or what other's think. There is an entire post about this entitled "You Are Beautiful.");
-"People are a precious gift from God" (therefore we do not hit, pretend shoot, or hurt people; we show Christ love to people around us);
-"A joy filled heart makes a cheerful face" (there is no pouting or making mad faces, our hearts our filled with the Joy of Christ, so even though we may be sad we need to remember the Joy we have in Christ. Our children are certainly allowed to be sad or upset, however, we don't want them dwelling on their sad situation, we want them looking at it with new eyes and seeing how to address the situation in a way that will help them not be sad or upset. This comes from a desire for them to work through their problems, not dwell on them.);
-"Your job is to listen and obey" (this comes from Ephesians 6:1 and is one of the first things our children learn. This in no way means that they are not allowed to share their opinions or speak freely, what this means is when we disagree their job is to respect the authority God has given us and do what we asked even if they would prefer to do something else. I know that some of you will think this is very harsh, but it truly is not. We desire for our children to learn obedience as we want them to be obedient to God's Word, this is simply a way for them to practice this obedience; it also helps to keep them safe. If you are running out into the street and don't see the car that just turned the corner and I ask you to stop, I NEED you to obey now, not have a discussion with me about it.);
These next ones are more of a responses to situations and less just plain phrases:
-When asked what we are having for dinner, my response most times is ..."we are not eating dinner today, we are fasting." (This is not meant at all to undermine the benefits of fasting or the spiritual gains that come from fasting. My husband and I have both fasted at different times and for different reasons. This is just a simple phrase that I use to help my children see that there are things more important than food that we should be focused on. We do feed our children and have never forced them to fast.)
_When asked why they can not watch a certain movie or listen to a certain song, my response is typically....."God has told us to guard our hearts, and minds." (We feel it is very important to help children learn what is going to be harmful to them. We have taught our children to turn away when something we are not expecting comes on the TV or is part of a movie. Their innocence and purity can be lost with just one vivid picture. This is becoming increasingly difficult, but as we continue to discuss media that harms our spirit, they continually grow stronger and make wise decisions for themselves.
-When our children say something like..."I'm starving." We will respond with "no you're not, your name is _________; I remember I was there when we named you." Our preschool age son will then say "my tummy is starving." (makes me smile) There are two things here we would like our kiddos to learn. First is simply to ask, "may I please have something to eat?" But, more importantly we point out that our children have never been starving. They have never gone more than a few hours without food. There are children in this world that truly are starving. There are children/people in this world that are eating rocks because they just desire to have something in their stomachs. We are asking our children to be grateful for the food they have and to remember that they are richly blessed, even when they are feeling hungry.
I hope these words bless and encourage you in some way. I know that I have a lot to learn, and that this journey of parenting is long. Thank you so much for walking it with me. I would love to hear some phrases or responses you use in your family that help encourage your family in their faith!
Monday, May 27, 2013
Today We Remember
Today in America it is Memorial Day. A day set aside for us to remember our soldiers, the hard work and sacrifice they have given to our country. There are streets lined with flags, parades led by bands, ceremonies at cemeteries and many types of events to help us remember. However, if you asked people their favorite part of Memorial Day, I would guess they would say the great sales at stores or the great cook outs with the family or that it is truly the first weekend of summer or that their neighborhood pool opens or a variety of other fun things that have nothing to do with remembering. I am resolved that our family will remember.
Now I like a cook out with family as much as the other guy, and we typically use this long weekend to clean the house, but we will also be taking time to remember. I hope that you will join me and take a few moments to help your family learn more about those who protect you and your country everyday. Maybe your town doesn't have a celebration or maybe by the time you read this, it is too late. Let me encourage you to think of a veteran in you family or look up some of their stories on the internet. Depending on the age of your child, talk to them about the amazing sacrifice these young men and women have made. Take a moment and pray for all of our current soldiers or make them some thank you cards (these cards can either be mailed to support services, or taken to your local VFW).
I know that there are many countries where there are soldiers who are not bringing honor to their country or their family. This is really hard for me to believe. I pray against the evil in these countries and that peace will be restored to it's people. May God give strength to those who are defending the weak and bringing liberty to those who seek it.
God Bless you and your family on this Memorial Day.....and, God Bless those who are giving up their freedoms to defend ours!
Now I like a cook out with family as much as the other guy, and we typically use this long weekend to clean the house, but we will also be taking time to remember. I hope that you will join me and take a few moments to help your family learn more about those who protect you and your country everyday. Maybe your town doesn't have a celebration or maybe by the time you read this, it is too late. Let me encourage you to think of a veteran in you family or look up some of their stories on the internet. Depending on the age of your child, talk to them about the amazing sacrifice these young men and women have made. Take a moment and pray for all of our current soldiers or make them some thank you cards (these cards can either be mailed to support services, or taken to your local VFW).
I know that there are many countries where there are soldiers who are not bringing honor to their country or their family. This is really hard for me to believe. I pray against the evil in these countries and that peace will be restored to it's people. May God give strength to those who are defending the weak and bringing liberty to those who seek it.
God Bless you and your family on this Memorial Day.....and, God Bless those who are giving up their freedoms to defend ours!
Friday, May 24, 2013
God In Our Everyday
People ask me questions all the time, I think it is because I am so open and willing to share pretty much anything.....it is certainly not because I have all the answers. I am just like them, walking this crazy road of parenting and doing my best not to stumble off the path God has laid before me. Most question can be answered with one or two sentences and a practical example. However, the other day a mom of two small children asked, "how do you work God into your everyday?" This is not an easy answer and can be done in thousands of ways....if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them. This question got me thinking and therefore, the next few posts will be practical little things we do to allow God to be seen in our everyday.
We do most of the obvious things people would think of: we pray, memorize verses, and have family devotions. Our prayers look different each day...besides prayers at meal times, we encourage each other to pray: before big events; when we feel anxious or concerned; when we hear fire or ambulance sirens; when we see tragic things on the news; when we have devotions; when we are sick; when we are "fighting" with friends; and especially when we are seeking God's best plan for our future (jobs, spouses, dreams). We memorize verses, but not everyday. We probably work an one or two verses a month as a family, they memorize a few more at church each month. I find these verses when I am doing my daily devotions, if it looks like a verse my children need to know, I write it down and the next time a situation occurs, we memorize the verse (usually making up motions to the words so it is easier to remember). I am sad to say that we do not have family devotions everyday. I would love to, and I think they are great! However, we do have family devotions, we have devotion books for each person in the home, and our children see us doing personal devotions and attending Bible study. We also do something known as "highs and lows." Some days we simply talk about our day by asking for everyone's "high" (the best part of their day) and everyone's "low" (the worst part of their day). Although this is not a formal devotion time, it is a wonderful time of sharing and a time when we can take an event that happened in their day and show them how God is working throughout their days.
I have talked about this before, but one of the most influential things we do is serve. Our family goal is to complete a service project every month. We are currently serving our church every week, but that has now become part of our family DNA, so we again are looking at monthly service projects. These can be large or small, but it is important to include everyone and to do a variety of things so no one looses interest. I have several suggestions listed on the "Let's Serve Together" page of this blog. We have been serving monthly for so long, that our children have grown to believe that this is just how you do things. You serve others, plain and simple. I can not stress enough how vital serving is to our family dynamic, I truly believe it is the most influential thing we do.
The final thing I am going to mention today is knowing your goal. We decided along time ago, that the top goal for our children was saving faith in Jesus Christ. Our children's salvation is more important than anything else. It is more important than their education, more important than how they play in the game, more important than any other goal society puts in front of us. When making decisions this goal is first in our minds. (I am not in anyway saying that education and other things aren't important, they are, and we desire for our children to do their best no matter what they do!)
I hope this series of posts bless you and your family. Our family is in no way perfect, and we make lots of mistakes, but we love the Lord and are doing our best each day to bring Him glory!
We do most of the obvious things people would think of: we pray, memorize verses, and have family devotions. Our prayers look different each day...besides prayers at meal times, we encourage each other to pray: before big events; when we feel anxious or concerned; when we hear fire or ambulance sirens; when we see tragic things on the news; when we have devotions; when we are sick; when we are "fighting" with friends; and especially when we are seeking God's best plan for our future (jobs, spouses, dreams). We memorize verses, but not everyday. We probably work an one or two verses a month as a family, they memorize a few more at church each month. I find these verses when I am doing my daily devotions, if it looks like a verse my children need to know, I write it down and the next time a situation occurs, we memorize the verse (usually making up motions to the words so it is easier to remember). I am sad to say that we do not have family devotions everyday. I would love to, and I think they are great! However, we do have family devotions, we have devotion books for each person in the home, and our children see us doing personal devotions and attending Bible study. We also do something known as "highs and lows." Some days we simply talk about our day by asking for everyone's "high" (the best part of their day) and everyone's "low" (the worst part of their day). Although this is not a formal devotion time, it is a wonderful time of sharing and a time when we can take an event that happened in their day and show them how God is working throughout their days.
I have talked about this before, but one of the most influential things we do is serve. Our family goal is to complete a service project every month. We are currently serving our church every week, but that has now become part of our family DNA, so we again are looking at monthly service projects. These can be large or small, but it is important to include everyone and to do a variety of things so no one looses interest. I have several suggestions listed on the "Let's Serve Together" page of this blog. We have been serving monthly for so long, that our children have grown to believe that this is just how you do things. You serve others, plain and simple. I can not stress enough how vital serving is to our family dynamic, I truly believe it is the most influential thing we do.
The final thing I am going to mention today is knowing your goal. We decided along time ago, that the top goal for our children was saving faith in Jesus Christ. Our children's salvation is more important than anything else. It is more important than their education, more important than how they play in the game, more important than any other goal society puts in front of us. When making decisions this goal is first in our minds. (I am not in anyway saying that education and other things aren't important, they are, and we desire for our children to do their best no matter what they do!)
I hope this series of posts bless you and your family. Our family is in no way perfect, and we make lots of mistakes, but we love the Lord and are doing our best each day to bring Him glory!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
What Is Love?
It seems to me that lots of people these days are talking about love. There are those who seem to be excusing their choices because "they love each other." Then there are those who think that showing love means making sure that everyone has the same amount/chances/choices/etc. I have heard people talk about love as it is a gift to be used for bribery or manipulation. There also seem to be a number of churches that have stopped preaching the law and are only preaching about Christ's love and acceptance of us all. LOVE seems to be the buzz word these days.
When I use the online concordance to look at the word "love" in the Bible, it tells me that there are 686 entries that use the word LOVE. That is a lot of love! There are verses about the love God has for you, the love between a man and his wife, the love between family members and much more. However, I didn't see in any of those verses where we can excuse our actions because of love or where love equals equality or where it is suggested that using love for manipulation is a good idea. Most of the examples of love I see are of sacrificial and sustaining love.
We love our children! But, what is love? Well, here a some practical applications of what I feel love is. -Love is allowing your child to try something new, like jumping off the third step; however, it is also not allowing them to jump from the top of the entire flight of stairs.
-Love is allowing your child to work out their problems; however, it is also giving them advice and guiding them along the way.
-Love is allowing your child to face the consequences of their choices; however, it is also forgiving them and helping them to move past their mistakes.
-Love is setting boundaries for your child that will keep them safe; however, it is also expanding the boundaries as they grow and can handle more responsibility.
-Love is providing your child with the things they NEED; however it is also not giving them all the things they WANT.
-Love is not getting something YOU want to provide something for your child; however it is also helping your child understand that sometimes they can't have something THEY want to provide something for someone else.
I am truly struggling with how I am seeing LOVE portrayed in the world today. How can a kidnapper say he tied someone up for ten years because he loves them? How can a parent expose children to violence, sex and drugs and then stand in court and say they need to keep their children because they love them? How can so many justify the killing of one because they love the other?
In my opinion, we have lost sight of what love is. We as a people seem to have manipulated love and have turned it into whatever works well for us. I pray that as we continue to raise our children that God will bless us with the wisdom to show them how to truly love....sacrificial and sustaining love!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
What If It Is Today?
What if today is the day when you and your child will no longer be together? What if today is the day when one of you will pass from this earth? What if today is your last chance to tell them what you really want to say? What if it is today?
The past few days have seen many tornadoes and dangerous storms travel across the central part of the US, the devastation has been great and wide spread. My heart is breaking for those that have lost their homes, but especially for those who have lost loved ones. The scenes from the collapsed elementary school are truly horrifying to me. To know that children were trapped somewhere under those cars and debris.....it is hard to imagine being a parent who sent their child to school in the morning and in the afternoon when they come to pick them up, they find a pile of rubble instead of a school. Harder yet to imagine, not being able to find your child in that rubble or being told that your child has died. How do you even continue to breathe? I know it would be difficult for me to desire to continue to live without my children. My prayers are certainly with them!
So, I have been thinking..... It doesn't take a storm to bring devastation, parents and children are separated each and everyday. Each day there are car crashes that take lives, there are illnesses that defeat us, and there are freak accidents that end in sadness. We have no idea if this will be the last day that we get to spend with our child. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
I hugged my children a little tighter last night when I sent them to bed. But then I thought about what I would want to say or do if I knew today was our last day on earth together. First, I would want to be certain that they knew Jesus as their Savior. Then, I would want to spend the day telling them I love them and doing things that would make great memories for us both. We talk about making memories all the time....cooking together, on bike rides, when making craft projects and when going on fun adventures. Memories are something we can hold tight to when our loved ones are gone. What would you want to do?
Although our days are often hurried and filled with many daily tasks, let us not forget to cherish each other everyday. Let me encourage you to end each day with hugs and love, try not to let the last thing we say to anyone be said in anger, but treat each moment as if it could be our last. Let us take the time to tell others about Christ and love each other like there is no tomorrow. I pray that you and your family will get thousands of more days together to make memories, but let me challenge you to live as if today is your last day!
The past few days have seen many tornadoes and dangerous storms travel across the central part of the US, the devastation has been great and wide spread. My heart is breaking for those that have lost their homes, but especially for those who have lost loved ones. The scenes from the collapsed elementary school are truly horrifying to me. To know that children were trapped somewhere under those cars and debris.....it is hard to imagine being a parent who sent their child to school in the morning and in the afternoon when they come to pick them up, they find a pile of rubble instead of a school. Harder yet to imagine, not being able to find your child in that rubble or being told that your child has died. How do you even continue to breathe? I know it would be difficult for me to desire to continue to live without my children. My prayers are certainly with them!
So, I have been thinking..... It doesn't take a storm to bring devastation, parents and children are separated each and everyday. Each day there are car crashes that take lives, there are illnesses that defeat us, and there are freak accidents that end in sadness. We have no idea if this will be the last day that we get to spend with our child. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
I hugged my children a little tighter last night when I sent them to bed. But then I thought about what I would want to say or do if I knew today was our last day on earth together. First, I would want to be certain that they knew Jesus as their Savior. Then, I would want to spend the day telling them I love them and doing things that would make great memories for us both. We talk about making memories all the time....cooking together, on bike rides, when making craft projects and when going on fun adventures. Memories are something we can hold tight to when our loved ones are gone. What would you want to do?
Although our days are often hurried and filled with many daily tasks, let us not forget to cherish each other everyday. Let me encourage you to end each day with hugs and love, try not to let the last thing we say to anyone be said in anger, but treat each moment as if it could be our last. Let us take the time to tell others about Christ and love each other like there is no tomorrow. I pray that you and your family will get thousands of more days together to make memories, but let me challenge you to live as if today is your last day!
Monday, May 20, 2013
Free Will
One of the most challenging aspects of raising Godly children, in my opinion, is that they have free will. Free will is a frustrating element to me and my "I am the Mom" lifestyle. Our children are truly free to decide if they want to listen to my words or not, if they want to listen to their friends words or not, and if they want to listen to God's words or not. There are many times when I wish that their free will was gone and they would just do what I say 100% of the time.
Imagine though, if their free will was gone. They would truly stop being individual, unique children and become something like a robot. They wouldn't be able to think for themselves, wouldn't have the ability to make any choices without my assistance and would only love me because I tell them they should. There may be moments where this sounds like a good idea, but I know that a life like this would not be fulfilling in anyway and I would wish it gone as fast as it came.
I have often wondered why God would create us with Free Will, knowing that many of us would reject Him and go our own way. But, as we have had children of our own, I have answered my own question. I have found that a hug is much stronger when given voluntarily, an "I love you" means much more when said spontaneously, and a child cuddling on my lab is much sweeter when they initiate the exchange. The desire my children have to share their lives with me, fills my days with joy.
I am sure that our Heavenly Father feels much the same way. He longs for us to come to Him voluntarily and He desires for us to want to share our lives with Him. He sees us, He knows what we are up to.....but just like you enjoy talking to your child after one of their activities (even though you were watching the entire time), God loves when you talk to Him about your days. He is a loving father who wants to have a personal relationship with each of us, a relationship that is a part of our everyday and one that is continually growing stronger.
I love our children deeply and am extremely glad when they choose to include me in their lives. I hope ours is a relationship that is also part of our everyday and growing stronger all the time. I pray that God will help me to remember that just as we have free will to reject God, our children do also. Truly all we can do is show them God's amazing love and pray that they wholeheartedly jump into Jesus' loving arms. Now that sentence includes a million little things we can do to influence our children, but ultimately it is their choice.
Imagine though, if their free will was gone. They would truly stop being individual, unique children and become something like a robot. They wouldn't be able to think for themselves, wouldn't have the ability to make any choices without my assistance and would only love me because I tell them they should. There may be moments where this sounds like a good idea, but I know that a life like this would not be fulfilling in anyway and I would wish it gone as fast as it came.
I have often wondered why God would create us with Free Will, knowing that many of us would reject Him and go our own way. But, as we have had children of our own, I have answered my own question. I have found that a hug is much stronger when given voluntarily, an "I love you" means much more when said spontaneously, and a child cuddling on my lab is much sweeter when they initiate the exchange. The desire my children have to share their lives with me, fills my days with joy.
I am sure that our Heavenly Father feels much the same way. He longs for us to come to Him voluntarily and He desires for us to want to share our lives with Him. He sees us, He knows what we are up to.....but just like you enjoy talking to your child after one of their activities (even though you were watching the entire time), God loves when you talk to Him about your days. He is a loving father who wants to have a personal relationship with each of us, a relationship that is a part of our everyday and one that is continually growing stronger.
I love our children deeply and am extremely glad when they choose to include me in their lives. I hope ours is a relationship that is also part of our everyday and growing stronger all the time. I pray that God will help me to remember that just as we have free will to reject God, our children do also. Truly all we can do is show them God's amazing love and pray that they wholeheartedly jump into Jesus' loving arms. Now that sentence includes a million little things we can do to influence our children, but ultimately it is their choice.
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