Marriage Is A Strange Thing

Marriage is a strange thing. Two people leave all that they know, and start something completely new. They do this with excitement, anxiety, fear and exhilaration. One moves from being a single person, mostly concerned about the family of their childhood, maybe their college degree or possibly their first career, to being united with another person and start a family of their own. Before their wedding vows, there is nothing but a dream, and by the end of the ceremony, a family has begun. A unique family designed by God himself and lived out by man. Marriage is a strange thing.

This week my husband and I are celebrating our 20^th wedding anniversary. It seems absolutely crazy to me that we have been married for 20 years. We had a fairly traditional wedding: a church, a meal, special music, gifts, lots of family and friends. It was a wonderful day. When I look at the pictures, I am completely shocked by how young we were. At the time we didn’t think we were young at all, and we had it all under control. Oh, how foolish we were. Two youngsters in their twenties jumping full force into this unknown territory.

As I look back at our relationship there are several things that I believe helped us make it to where we are today….happily married and growing stronger each year. There is a strong possibility that our children will be getting married someday, here are a few things I share with them on a regular basis:

-be friends first: We enjoyed spending time together before we started a relationship. We found many things that we loved doing together, these are things we have been able to build on in our marriage. We still enjoy most of those things today.

-talk about everything: When Jim and I knew that God was leading us to marry one another we spent hours upon hours talking things through. We both came from “broken” homes and didn’t want that for our family or our children. We talked about everything we could think of: how to raise the children we might have; what denomination of the Christian church we would be; what certain Bible verses meant to us; what was acceptable and not acceptable in a marriage; would we use birth control and what type; what was the purity plan for our courtship; and anything else we could think of. These were not always fun talks. We argued, we disagreed, we brought in outside sources to defend our positions, we worked hard on trying to find common agreements to build this marriage upon. These talks were vitally important to the start of our marriage. Our first year of marriage was actually enjoyable because we had already battled through so many of the usual disagreements. 

-pray together: When we started allowing our relationship to move from a friendship to a courtship, we ended nearly every night that we were together in prayer. We prayed for our friends, family, and for our relationship. Being able to pray with someone draws you closer to them and really changes your relationship.

-don't be afraid to change: So many people give the advice to "stay true to yourself" or "never change who you are" and other such phrases. They somehow think that if you change, you have become weak or something different than you were created to be. Newsflash....we all change! Everyday, we change a little of who we are. Everything we learn, everything we experience and everyone we connect with changes us just a little. Instead of being afraid that you will be changing and compromising who you are, look to see if you are really just changing into a better you. I know 100% that I am a better person because of the impact Jim has had on my life. Now, I agree that changing to became the polar opposite of who you were is NOT good, but someone who truly loves you will love you for who you are, who you are becoming and who you will be. They will bring out the best in you and help you become a better version of yourself.

Marriage is a strange thing. However, as a glance over at our family watching a video together near by, I can honestly say "I wouldn't change a thing." I love being married, I love our family, and I love the adventures I see in front of us. Marriage might be a strange thing, but it is one of the best things that has ever happened to me!

I pray that God is blessing your marriage and that you have the joy of growing closer to your spouse each and everyday. May God grant you wisdom as you share your love of marriage with your children.