Family Management

Last week I had three different people give me ideas for a blog post. It was great, that has never happened before. However, as I thought about their ideas, I really think they were talking about the same thing in different ways. When you are a teacher, how you manage your students is called "classroom management." This includes discipline, rewards and structure. So today we are going to start talking about "family management," let's look at how we manage the many ups and downs of our days. Family management is a huge topic, so it will take more than one post, I hope you enjoy part one today.

As most of you have read, I am a mother of seven children who is currently staying at home full-time to homeschool the majority of them and pour into all of our children whenever possible. I was also a classroom teacher for over 10 years, so I have lots of practice "managing" children (i.e. lots of mistakes that I can learn from). I probably am asked on a weekly basis, "how I do it all?" Every family is different and so is every parent, everyone makes different sacrifices, it is important to know yourself, but here are some ideas that work well in our home.

Let me start with the sacrifices we make. As moms, we have an inner desire to do EVERYTHING and do it PERFECTLY. This desire can lead to exhaustion, frustration and even depression. Now, please don't misunderstand me, we need to strive for excellence and do all things as if working for the Lord, but many of us think that means perfection. (If you are a perfectionist, let me encourage you to look at what you might be willing to share and/or sacrifice for the good of your family.) When you look at any family you will see things they choose to sacrifice that help their family work best. Here are some examples of choices I have made or I see in the families around me:
     -an immaculate home......this is a sacrifice that I have chosen to make with our family. Our home gets cleaned in sections, so every area is cleaned once during the week, but it is rarely entirely cleaned all at the same time. I have decided that for our family to function best, I need to give more attention to other things instead of cleaning. No, I am not condoning living in an unsanitary manner, but at this stage in our family, dirty dishes are truly the least of my worries.
     -a vigorous exercise program.....I know that the doctors will tell you that you need to work out 45 minutes at least 5 times a week, but sometimes we as mom's choose to settle for less. Maybe we can only get three workouts a week or maybe we can only workout for 20 minutes or maybe we get the workouts whenever we can. But, for the sake of our families schedule we choose to make adjustments to our own.
     -time spent alone......I am not talking about time with God spent in personal devotions, because that is of vital importance, but time alone doing something that you truly enjoy. Before we had a large family I was part of a sports league, a music group and volunteered with various organizations. These are all things that I love! I am sure you have a similar list. However, for the sake of my own sanity and my ability to give my best to my family, I have needed to cut back on these activities and make tough choices. To be honest, most days I don't even miss those activities because the joy my kiddos bring me fills any gap I might have had.
     -pursuing a career.......I truly enjoyed my days of teaching and leading Children's Ministry, but there came a time when I was no longer happy. I wasn't happy that I was missing my children's concerts or games. I wasn't happy that there were nights when I wasn't able to tuck them in bed or make them a great dinner. It took me a great deal of time to see this, but leaving the full-time work force was truly the best decision for ME and our family. Even though we have had to make financial sacrifices, we have gained so much as a family that will never be undone and will be a lasting legacy for my children as they grow and start their own families.
   I know lots of women who struggle with the idea of working outside the home or working inside the home. This is a very personal decision and there is not one answer that is right for everyone. I know great families who have moms that stay home and great families who have moms that work away from home, I believe the important issue is to be fully content with the choice you make. Know without a doubt that it is where God wants you to be and that it is the best decision for your family.
     -limiting extra activities......Children having extra activities can destroy or unite a family. If you haven't already, I would talk with your spouse and decide together how you want to handle extra activities. Some families simply say "no." They have no activities that their children are involved in outside of family and church. This may seem mean or wrong, but larger families especially need to be  careful with their finances and time and often allowing one to participate will cause a domino effect from which it is hard to return. Our family tries to abide by the "one activity at a time" rule. It doesn't always work out, but it is a great guideline for us. I know other families that choose one activity and everyone participates in that activity. What will work best for your family and extra activities?

When you look at your family and the time you spend doing tasks, running errands and balancing calendars.....look to see if there are anythings that you could sacrifice. It is important to manage your family in a way you can sustain. If you find yourself becoming stressed out and loosing your temper, it is time to reevaluate and make some tough choices. Sacrifices are often hard to make at first, but if you are truly following God's will for you and your family, He will fill you with great joy and a new found love for the calling He has for you. May God truly bless you this week as you decide what sacrifices are best for your family!