More Than We Can Handle

A few weeks back there was an article floating around the social media networks that talked about the "fuzzy" Christian phrases that are often used. The article spoke of the phrases that Christians often use when ministering to others. You know: "let go and let God;" "prayer changes things;" "whenever God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window;" "God never gives you more than you can handle;" and so forth. Why I completely agree that these phrases can not be used with, nor do they have any meaning for non-Christians, the contents of the article has been bothering me for weeks.

The phrase "God never gives you more than you can handle," took a beating in this article. The author talked about the phrase very negatively, claimed it had no biblical merit and how insulting it is for those that are suffering. Again, for someone without a personal relationship with Christ, this phrase makes no sense. It almost sounds like God is torturing His followers....never pushing them too far past their breaking point.  I don't know about you, but I would probably run far away from a God I thought was torturing His followers. However, because of my faith in Christ, I believe and support this phrase as one that challenges me and comforts me during my journey on this earth.

First, let's look at the Bible for a moment:

  Job 42:2 "I know you can do all things; no purpose of yours will be thwarted."
  Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
  Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."
  Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
  Ecc. 11:5 "As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in the mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."
  Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
  Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him that is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us,"

These are just a few verses that I could recall quickly to support my opinion, but all of them seem to be telling us that God is not going to give us more than He will help us handle. Also, in all my reading of scripture over my lifetime I don't recall a single verse that states God will leave us during our hardest struggle or provide no guidance through a tough situation. Joshua 1:5 is one more verse, and it clearly states "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

I want to encourage you today to hold fast to the promises God has given to you. When our circumstances seem unbearable, may we all remember that God's ways are higher then our own. We may not be able to see what He is working on at this moment. We may only see the hurt and difficulty, but God has something greater planned for each and every one of us. Let me challenge you to put your full trust in God, in His plan and His power. Do not be fooled by those who speak against God's plan or try to limit Him by your circumstances....He loves you, knows what is best for all of us and sees a much bigger picture. It probably won't look like the picture in the magazine or on TV, but we are living for the Kingdom, not for this world.

My daughter has a friend who was killed about two years ago. I would never presume to know how her mother feels or the pain that she goes through on a regular basis. But I do know that her mother is allowing God to work through these circumstances and she is being used to change lives. Her daughter's organs have helped at least six people and her daughter's foundation has blessed hundreds. She may never wake in the morning and not long for her daughter, but she is not defeated. She is allowing God's strength, peace and compassion guide her on this new journey He has laid in front of her....holding fast to the knowledge that God will never leave her nor forsake her.

I hope you will join me in firmly believing and trusting that God will not give us more than we can handle!

Great Tradition

As I write this entry, we are in the middle of the Christmas season. A great time to celebrate the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ. However, it often becomes a season of crazy calendars and "to do" lists. In our home there never seems to be a shortage of concerts, programs and events we need to attend and/or prepare for. It is very easy to loose sight of why we are celebrating in the first place. My husband and I have tried to develop some traditions to help us make sure that our family remembers the true reason we have Christmas. I am going to share some of those traditions with you today, if your family doesn't have any traditions, I hope one or two of them inspire you to start something your children will remember when they are grown and have their own families.

Our family traditions begin the Sunday after Thanksgiving with the putting up and decorating of the Christmas tree. It is a great afternoon of hanging lights and ornaments, topped with the addition of the family angel. Each child has their own sack of ornaments that they have or that have been given to them. They each get a chance to put their ornaments on our family tree, a new adventure each year as we rediscover the ornaments in our sacks. 

Family devotions during the month of December come from the book "The Advent Jesse Tree" by Dean Meador Lambert. It is a great resource. Each night the children take turns adding an ornament to our Jesse Tree. Every ornament helps us remember something about Christ and the wonderful gift He is to all of us. When all the ornaments are on the tree, Christmas has arrived!

December 6th is a fun day in our home. That is the day that we remember a gentlemen named St. Nicholas. He would put small gifts in the shoes of young children in his community. Our kiddos will put their shoes outside their bedroom doors and I will fill them with little trinkets and goodies for them to enjoy in the morning. Although this is a very fun activity, it is also one that reminds us that there are many people in our community that have needs that aren't being met, and why we collect hats, gloves and other items to share with them. 

The last couple traditions we have are baking cookie packages for each of our neighbors, going to Worship on Christmas Eve, pancakes on Christmas morning with fruit and whipping cream and giving each child three presents (just as Jesus received 3 gifts). Although none of these traditions are extravagant, they are all things that our children look forward to each year and things that help us remember why we are celebrating in the first place.

No matter how your family celebrates this Christmas, I pray that your home is filled with the Love and Joy of Christ. May each day of this busy season provide you an opportunity to stop and share great traditions with your family and friends. For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given!  

Holding Strong

The past few weeks have found my husband and I trying to explain convictions. I am not sure if you have ventured down this road with your children, but it has not been the easiest road for us to travel. It seems that as our children age they truly want to understand why we choose to do the things we do. This is a wonderful stage, but it is not always easy for me to explain.

When you check with dictionary.com, it states that "conviction" is the state of being convinced and/or  a fixed or firm belief. The choices that my husband and I make for our family, and I assume the choices you make for your family are based on "convictions," or beliefs. You believe in investing in your child and guiding them as they grow.

Most of the convictions that my husband and I are basing our decisions on are from our study of the Bible. When we read the scriptures, spend time in prayer or participate in a Bible Study, there are often times when is seems the Spirit is giving us a clear direction that He would like for our family to take.

As our children spend more time with friends and in activities they have more questions. Why do we only listen to Christian music? Why aren't we allowed to watch THAT television show? Why do we celebrate this holiday, but not that one? Why can't I go to this or that party? For we all know that "everybody else is" able to do whatever it is we are not allowing.

No family is going to be the same. Even if we go to the same church, live in the same neighborhood and use the same curriculum. Each of us have our own convictions and our own ideas of what is best for our children. What might work well for your family, might not work well for any other family.

These are God's children and we will need to answer for our choices....I believe that it was God's plan to give us the exact children that we have. He knew that each child would help us grow as parents and Christians, and that they would influence each other's walk in the best way to strengthen each of our children's faith. Each and everyday He calls me to be the best parent I can be and point my children to a lifelong relationship with Him. It is not my responsibility to parent every child in the neighborhood, at our church or on my daughter's team. However, it is my responsibility to make the best choices for our children. I don't know why I have a strong conviction to raise our children one way and you have a strong conviction to do something different, all I know is that it is important to do what you feel God is calling you to. He truly knows best! He knows each family and the different things that make them unique and stronger.

This idea of conviction and trying to follow God's will is not always easy for us to explain to our kiddos, but it is still very important. It is hard sometimes for our children to see their friends acting in ways that they cannot, but when I remember our goals for their lives, our most important goal is to help them develop a lasting faith and relationship with Jesus, I know a short time of disappointment is necessary and of little consequence when compared to an eternity with Christ.

I don't expect these days of questioning to end anytime soon. Let us encourage one another as we hold strong to the convictions God has laid on our hearts. Be strong and courageous, for the Lord will be with us where ever we go! (especially on this rocky path of parenting)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Greetings to all my readers! Today in the United States we are celebrating a holiday called Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was first suggested as a holiday from President George Washington, but it didn't become a annual national holiday until 1863 and President Lincoln's proclamation. I hadn't read the Thanksgiving Day proclamation from President Lincoln before this week. It is a great speech and is very thought provoking. Here is an excerpt:

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American people. I do, therefore, invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a Day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that, while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation, and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union.

This speech came when our country was in the middle of a civil war. A very violent and horrible time in our history, and yet we had things to be thankful for.

I am amazed by how openly Lincoln spoke about God's amazing blessings. I pray that more of us would have the courage to speak opening about the many blessings that God has given us. Thankfulness is contagious, and us sharing our thankfulness might be all it takes to help someone redirect their focus.

May this day have your family celebrating your blessings (we don't need a national holiday to celebrate) and may you take time each day to help your children gives thanks....even in the hard times.

I pray that God's abundant blessings are evident in your home today and always! Happy Thanksgiving!

Loving Them Into Adulthood

I have been given a heart for kids, no really, I love kids. They don't have to be mine, I still love them and want to encourage them. I am that annoying person at the store talking to your children, we're having a full conversation and before you know it they will be inviting me over for dinner. :-) I am always noticing kids, watching them and thinking about them.....and I mean ALWAYS. It is a blessing most of the time, but it can also get me in trouble.

Something I have noticed recently is a large number of parents doing things for their children and/or taking responsibility for things their children are responsible for. I agree 100% with the understanding that we are only going to have our little ones for a short time. They will be grown before we know it and we will no longer have small footsteps to listen to. However, I don't think we should encourage our children to stop growing up and stay little just because they are "so cute." One of our primary jobs as parents is to prepare our children to do things on their own....we need to prepare them to live on their own and grow into responsible adults that can start their own healthy, loving family.

I find encouraging my children to "grow up" challenging sometimes. For example: when our son says "peas" instead of "please," it is very cute and does it really hurt anyone? well, yes, it actually hurts him and his natural speech development patterns; when our daughter works incredibly hard for something and is not able to achieve her goal, I don't want her to see the pains of growing up, I want to protect her and tell her everything is going to be ok; when someone leaves their "important item" they need at home, it is tough to decide whether to bale them out or let them learn more about responsibility. These are just some of the times when I want to ignore the opportunity I have the help our children grow and just keep them small, I want to put aside my responsibility to help them become the best person they can be and just hold them tight in my arms.

Recently I heard on the radio that the age of adolescence is now being defined as age 13-27. The speaker went on to explain how parents need to give their children more responsibility to help them make the journey from childhood to adulthood. I was floored. I still cannot believe that children are not leaving the adolescence stage until 27 years of age. What are they doing for over a decade in adolescence? That just seems crazy to me.

It is great to hold our kiddos tight in our arms, and I know without a doubt that an empty nest is hard and scary.... but is our holding them back helping THEM or is it just making US feel better? Watching our kiddos as they fail and correcting them when they make mistakes are difficult tasks, but in the end, our children will be stronger, more prepared adults because we loved them enough to teach them how to grow-up.

Let me encourage you today to take a new look at your relationship with your child. Are you making the tough choices and loving them into adulthood? Or, are you holding on a bit too tight? The transition might be a difficult one, but when your 24 year old is living on their own and not stuck in adolescence, you can look back and declare that it was worth it! You loved your children enough to love them into adults!

Giving Thanks For All Things

It is November, so many of the social media sites have people who are writing a different thing each day that they are thankful for. They write things like they are thankful for family, thankful for shelter, thankful for friends and thankful for specific things going on in their lives. I think it is great and have done it often myself.

Yesterday, I had the privilege of leading Children's Church at our congregation. The lesson happened to be on praying about everything. For one of the activities we took the alphabet and wrote down things we could pray to God about. The letter "A" paper looked like this: Anger, Apples, Animals, Adoration, Attitude, Aunts and America. We wanted to pray both for things we are thankful for and for items we need help with. I really liked this activity. It was great to see all the ideas the children could come up with for each letter.

After thinking about these two ideas, giving thanks each day and praying through the alphabet, I thought it would be a great idea for our family to combine the two ideas. Why don't we take time each day to thank God using a different letter of the alphabet to inspire us? This should help our children to focus on all the great blessings they have and to remember exactly whom those blessings come from. Now, I realize that we are 10 days behind, but there are only 26 letters in our alphabet and  maybe on some of the more challenging letters we can double up. I am excited to give it a try!

Let me encourage you to find fun, simple ways to help your child remember they can talk to God about anything and praise God for everything. I wonder what your family will be thankful for? We are going to display our "Thanks Alphabet" in our hall, hopefully that will help encourage others to give thanks for all things. Have a great day thank God!

Changing A Life

Have you ever watched a show with your family when on comes a commercial that shows children or animals in very desperate situations, and they need your help? It happens occasionally in our home. I generally ignore the commercials. Our family already sponsors some children and has two pets, so I just haven't felt the need to focus on these types of campaigns. What about you?

Recently, our family has entered the "foster care" world. It has been quite an adjustment for everyone, but it has also been a huge blessing. I had no idea how much I personally would grow because of two children that six months ago were basically strangers to me. I am thankful each day for the decision we made to invite them into our family. 

Since entering this new season, our eyes have been opened to so much that is going on around us each and everyday, but we never noticed. We have met or learned about many children in the "system" that are simply looking for a little hope. These are children below grade level in school because no one has ever cared enough to help them with their homework and make sure they are in school each day. These are children that are still having potty accidents at 10 years old because no one has ever taken the time to truly potty train them. These are children that have lived in 4 or 5 different homes just this year. These are children who have no idea what they want to be when they grow-up, because they can't see past tomorrow. These are children who have been abused and/ or experienced things that we can not even imagine. These are children who just want to be loved, know that they will receive three meals a day and be able to come home to the same place each day. 

I know what you are thinking, I thought the same things. We don't have enough money at this time to help....I know about not having enough money. We don't have the room for more children.....yep, we don't either. We don't have the time to take on anything else.....I'm with you, my plate is full. What about the safety and development of our own children.....this is a huge concern, but with monitors, boundaries and open conversations everyone can be on the same page. There is only so much that a person can do....this is very true, but through Christ's strength we can do so much more. 

Today, I am writing a post different than any other. Today, I am going to ask you to think about getting involved in the lives of others. Would you consider being a foster parent? Would you think about being a "Big Brother or Big Sister?" Would you consider sponsoring a child, not just for Christmas, but every month of the year? Getting involved in the foster system is easy, just contact your local county human services department. The organization Big Brothers and Big Sisters is a wonderful place to start to reach out to kids that are struggling. They match you up with a youth and the two of you get to know each other, go on adventures together and build a relationship that could last a lifetime. There are several organization where you can sponsor a child, we use Compassion International, but we also have first hand experience with World Vision, Children International and Children's Christian Concern Society. (I am sure there are many more great ministries out there)

Let me encourage you to take time to pray about how God might be leading you to touch the life of another child. I know that it may be a huge step for you and your family, but I also know that you will be blessed. God has something amazing in store for both you and the child(ren) you are going to share your life with! I'll be praying for you, and thanks for thinking about changing a life.