Right after I made my post yesterday, "Dry and Weary Land," I realized that most of what I said not only applies to my relationship with God, but also to my relationship with my husband. I am very interested in the correlation. Stay with me a moment.
I love my husband! I am blessed to be married to a wonderful godly man who loves Christ more than he loves me, but loves me more than he loves himself. He is a vitally important part of our family and when he is gone, things do not function as they should. He is my best friend and I have rarely gone a day without speaking with him since we began courting. I hope I never need to know my life without him.
That being said, as I look back at our almost 20 years of marriage, I can see the seasons. There are certainly times in our marriage where everything seemed to be going great, we were in agreement on most issues and couldn't spend enough time together. There are also seasons when we seemed to be just coasting along, working through disagreements with respect and remembering to spend time together on occasion. Then, if we are honest there are those season where we barely knew who the other person was; a time when we seemed to disagree more than agree and even though we lived in the same home, we spent no time truly together. There are mountains and valleys, deserts and lush fields, along this marriage journey.
When we walk through the deserts of our marriage, I need to remind myself of the commitment we have made to each other. I need to remind myself to pray for him and our marriage. I need to remind myself of the joy that he has brought to my life. Aside from remembering, I also need to be proactive and remove myself from negative environments. If I am spending time reading/watching/talking with elements that are making me question my marriage or my husband, I need to stop...walk away and put my marriage in a place of priority. I need to surround myself with people and materials that will strengthen my marriage and uplift us as a couple, not take sides.
It doesn't matter if I FEEL like loving my husband today or not. Real love is NOT a FEELING, it is a choice. When we are fully committed to building a marriage that last until eternity, we make the choice everyday to put our husband and our marriage before ourselves. We make a choice to not listen to what society is telling us, not to listen to those telling us to be selfish, not to listen to those trying to lead us to stray from the commitment we have made. Instead, we choose to listen to the Word of God and know that God is working in our spouse, just as He is working in us. When we make that choice, the "feeling" of love grows stronger each day.
As I look at the "dry and weary" days of our marriage, it is clear to me that I need to respond to my husband as God responds to me. (aside from abuse, which is a whole different story) My God is always there when I need Him, He has never left me in need and He loves me no matter what. I know that I can never be all this for my husband, but I have a lifetime to live out the promises I have made to him. No matter what the season, I CHOOSE to love my husband and enjoy the life God has given us together.
May God bless your marriage and your family as you journey through these mountains, valleys, deserts and lush fields. May you take each day as a new chance to renew your vows and strengthen the love you have for each other.
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