One of the great things about writing a blog is that you have an opportunity to chat with people from all over the world. I LOVE all the comments and emails I receive, please feel free to leave one at anytime! I read them all and often cherish the sentiments. Recently I received a comment that I thought we all could chat about. Here is the comment:
I think this needs some clarification. Are you saying it's wrong to think someone else besides your spouse is attractive? Sometimes that's just a fact!! If God had intended us to only see beauty in our spouse, we'd all be blind. I find nothing wrong in seeing the beauty in another person. That doesn't mean I want to get in bed with them or that I have an impure thought. I also find it hard to believe that I am SINNING if I eat an entire pizza rather than just a few slices. If such thought is the case, then nearly every single thing we do every moment of our lives is a sin. Am I sinning now because I am questioning you? Not trying to be controversial, but I do want to challenge this thinking. Am I sinning because I didn't take a shower today? Am I sinning because I don't force my children to drink a glass of milk every day? I do not believe there is a line drawn in the sand. Yes, there is sin. But I haven't seen where God is going to damn me to hell because I ate a whole bag of Doritos or I think Channing Tatum is a good looking man. Opinions?
I am happy to clarify my thoughts from the post "How Far Can We Go?" First, I am not the one who decides what is sin. I am simply sharing what I have found while studying God's Word and how His love and guidance help my family through our days. It certainly is not a sin to disagree with me, question me or challenge me.....I am simply a follower of Christ sharing my experiences. I would encourage us all to read the scriptures for ourselves and pray to God for guidance whenever we read a Christian blog, hear a sermon or watch an evangelist. All leaders, including myself, can make mistakes and could possibly be teaching falsely without even knowing it. I actually like being challenged, because it makes me certain of what I really believe.
When it comes to bringing honor to my marriage, I don't feel it is healthy for me to be staring at or commenting on the attractiveness of others. Now I find beauty in lots of places, especially nature and my children. I have learned and consciously teach my children that people are beautiful/ attractive/ handsome because of their character, values and relationship with Christ. Scripture is clear when it comes to lust. If you look lustfully at someone, you have already committed adultery with them in your heart. (Matthew 5:28) There is most certainly a difference between noticing a person and lusting after them. I don't look the same as the day I married my husband, he does not look
the same either. However, he is more attractive to me today with his thinning hair, gray streaks and few extra pounds, than he has
ever been. I love who he is, and no matter what he looks like, that doesn't change.
Pizza and Doritos are not foods that we find in scripture, so it is true that no where in the Bible does it say you can't eat an entire pizza or a whole bag of Doritos, however, scripture does talk about gluttony. Gluttony is eating in excess. In my opinion, eating an entire pizza or a whole bag of Doritos would be excessive. Depending on what translation of scripture you use you can find several verses talking about the harms of gluttony. I will simply share two:
-Ezekiel 16:49 (NLT) Sodom's sins were pride, gluttony, and laziness......
-Proverbs 23:2 (NIV) and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.
It is pretty clear that gluttony is not something that brings God glory and is something that should be avoided. (That said, I have been tempted in the past to eat an entire bag of Oreos....but that doesn't make it right.)
The idea behind my post was to encourage us to strive to live holy lives and help our children live holy also. It was not meant to list every sin or offense that might pass through our day. Things like showering and drinking milk are American ideals and may be offensive to someone trying to do things the "right way" according to our society, but they are not sins. They have nothing to do with our relationship with God and the high calling He has for us. My deepest desires are for us all to draw closer to Christ, to raise children that glorify the Lord and to have families that bring His love to those we encounter. My ideas may be strange to some, but they are convictions God has laid on my heart. I do not wish to live as others that don't know Christ choose to live, I strive to become more like Him in all I do. I pray that you will continue to join me on this adventure!
Encouraging families to raise children that are rooted in the Word, growing strong in Christ and bearing fruit for the Kingdom.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
Overlook An Offense
A person’s wisdom yields patience;
it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11
Wow, I couldn't have read this verse at a better time. It seems these days our children have become experts at pointing out the "offenses" of others. My days are now filled with reports on how little brother did this and big sister did that and dad did this and so on. It has become quite annoying.
When I read this verse, I knew this was the next verse for our family. We all needed to ask God for wisdom so that we might be more patient with each other. This patience would then help us overlook the tiny offenses that seem to be occupying our days.
Or at least, that was the plan. It seems that everyone understood the concept of asking for patience and looking over offenses. However, there seems to be a disconnect between our ability to listen to the idea and our ability to act on the idea. This is going to be a journey!
So, we have decided to take a few steps:
-try to solve small arguments on our own
-try to set a good example for others
-pray each day for God to help us overlook small offenses
-T.H.I.N.K. before we speak (True, Helpful, Important, Necessary, Kind)
I know that we have a long journey ahead of us, but I know that with God's help we will make significant progress on supporting one another and looking over small offenses. Let me encourage you to take a great verse this week and help your children see how they can apply God's truth to their lives.
it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11
Wow, I couldn't have read this verse at a better time. It seems these days our children have become experts at pointing out the "offenses" of others. My days are now filled with reports on how little brother did this and big sister did that and dad did this and so on. It has become quite annoying.
When I read this verse, I knew this was the next verse for our family. We all needed to ask God for wisdom so that we might be more patient with each other. This patience would then help us overlook the tiny offenses that seem to be occupying our days.
Or at least, that was the plan. It seems that everyone understood the concept of asking for patience and looking over offenses. However, there seems to be a disconnect between our ability to listen to the idea and our ability to act on the idea. This is going to be a journey!
So, we have decided to take a few steps:
-try to solve small arguments on our own
-try to set a good example for others
-pray each day for God to help us overlook small offenses
-T.H.I.N.K. before we speak (True, Helpful, Important, Necessary, Kind)
I know that we have a long journey ahead of us, but I know that with God's help we will make significant progress on supporting one another and looking over small offenses. Let me encourage you to take a great verse this week and help your children see how they can apply God's truth to their lives.
Friday, July 26, 2013
How Far Can We Go?
When I was serving as a youth leader I had the opportunity to attend a few gatherings and conferences. At one large gathering I attended I heard a man teach on sex and dating. He stated that the most commonly asked question by youth is "How far can we go on a date?" His response is usually something like: "I don't know, Mukwonago. How far do your parents let you drive?" This of course, was not the answer they were looking for....but I thought it was funny!
What does this have to do with you? I am assuming that if you are reading my blog, that you are a parent, married and are allowed to drive wherever you want, so what's the point? Well, I believe the concept of his statement can apply to all areas of our life. It seems to me that we are all a bit like those teens, wanting to know "how close to the line can we get, without crossing it?" How much can we talk about our neighbors business, before it moves from a prayer request to gossiping? How many of the new delights can we sample before it moves from nourishing, to gluttony? How long can we stare at the person at the pool, before it moves from glancing around our environment to lusting? I think we all have times when we try to see how far we can go.
I know that many people believe that there really is no harm in pushing the limits. I hear people say all the time, "I can look but I can't touch." Seriously? How is that bringing honor to your marriage? I also hear people say, "It is the truth isn't it, so if she didn't want us to talk about her, then she should keep her business private." I disagree with these ideas. It does matter how far we go.
James chapter 1 tells us that we are tempted by our desires. That these evil desires entice us. It tells us what happens when we allow ourselves to linger or move close to the line. Once your desire is conceived, it gives birth to sin and then that sin continues to grow until it finally leads to death. It all starts with a small desire. There is harm in looking, there is harm in straying from pure talk and pure actions, they lead to death. We know that as we continue to give into desires, the line we have drawn will move farther and farther from where God wants us to be.
Let me encourage you today to take a look at the lines that you have drawn for you and your family. In what areas of your life are you pushing the limits that God has placed in front of you? Are you teaching your children that they can give into their desires as long as they stop before it becomes sin? Take a few moments and read through James chapter 1 and let us all remember that he ends the chapter by reminding us to keep ourselves from being polluted by the world. It is a difficult task, but I pray that we will all choose Life with Christ and turn from death in the world.
What does this have to do with you? I am assuming that if you are reading my blog, that you are a parent, married and are allowed to drive wherever you want, so what's the point? Well, I believe the concept of his statement can apply to all areas of our life. It seems to me that we are all a bit like those teens, wanting to know "how close to the line can we get, without crossing it?" How much can we talk about our neighbors business, before it moves from a prayer request to gossiping? How many of the new delights can we sample before it moves from nourishing, to gluttony? How long can we stare at the person at the pool, before it moves from glancing around our environment to lusting? I think we all have times when we try to see how far we can go.
I know that many people believe that there really is no harm in pushing the limits. I hear people say all the time, "I can look but I can't touch." Seriously? How is that bringing honor to your marriage? I also hear people say, "It is the truth isn't it, so if she didn't want us to talk about her, then she should keep her business private." I disagree with these ideas. It does matter how far we go.
James chapter 1 tells us that we are tempted by our desires. That these evil desires entice us. It tells us what happens when we allow ourselves to linger or move close to the line. Once your desire is conceived, it gives birth to sin and then that sin continues to grow until it finally leads to death. It all starts with a small desire. There is harm in looking, there is harm in straying from pure talk and pure actions, they lead to death. We know that as we continue to give into desires, the line we have drawn will move farther and farther from where God wants us to be.
Let me encourage you today to take a look at the lines that you have drawn for you and your family. In what areas of your life are you pushing the limits that God has placed in front of you? Are you teaching your children that they can give into their desires as long as they stop before it becomes sin? Take a few moments and read through James chapter 1 and let us all remember that he ends the chapter by reminding us to keep ourselves from being polluted by the world. It is a difficult task, but I pray that we will all choose Life with Christ and turn from death in the world.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
How Do You Know? (Finding A Spouse)
Recently I was part of a discussion with a group of younger single women, the prominent question was, "How do you know who you should marry?" This seems to be a hot topic for those in their late teens and 20's. I have found that it is also very controversial. The ladies I was talking with had very different opinions on how they should find a man to marry. You might be thinking you don't have any daughters or that they are still too young to talk about marriage, let me encourage you to keep reading as it is never too early to be talking about a Godly marriage and your sons need to know this information just as much as your daughters. Here is a glimpse into our conversation:
"I keep being told that I need to be patient and God will make it clear to me. Really? How is He going to make it clear and how is being patient going to help? Don't I need to be actively seeking?"
"Why do so many people talk about purity in dating? Isn't intimacy an important part of marriage? How are you going to know if you are compatible with someone if you don't have sex before you are married?"
"Where am I suppose to meet this person? Am I only suppose to go to church? What about parties and bars? Or am I just suppose to sit at home and wait?"
The questions or more frustrated statements went on and on. I listened to many of the responses and felt extremely glad that I was no longer in this situation. But, then I thought of my daughters and I found myself empathizing with them. I shared some of my thoughts.
It seems to me that many of us have forgotten that we are a people "set apart" from this world and chosen by God to walk with Him daily. Scripture tells us to "wait on the Lord," and that God always has our best interests at heart and that He sees a much bigger picture than we do. You may not like my responses, but I believe they are Biblical and thoughts God wants you to remember.
Why is God calling you to be patient? There could be many reasons: maybe you need to develop a closer walk with Christ; maybe your chosen spouse needs to finish part of their journey; maybe one of you is about to go through a trial and if you met now you would not see that you were meant to be together; maybe this....maybe that....there are hundreds of reasons why God is asking you to wait. When we read scripture we see that God is faithful and just, that He fulfills are heart's desire and that He will do things that draw us closer to Him. God's timing is not our own, but His timing is always best. If we are truly trusting God, than we need to truly trust Him in this area of our life as well. Completely trust Him, because He may be calling you to a life of singleness. We need to learn to be content in every circumstance, because there is a chance you may never get married and you need to know that no matter what, God's best plan for your life is far better than anything you can manipulate on your own.
As for intimacy, the Bible is clear, stay pure. Seek Christ and purity in all situations. The Word warns against stirring up desires that can not be righteously fulfilled. It is clear that sex and intimacy are meant for marriage. Your sexual desires are a wonderful part of God's plan. The desires are there to strengthen your marriage, to build a bond between you and your spouse. The Bible says, "and the two shall become one flesh." This is literally what happens during intercourse, the two become one.....one physically, one emotionally, not two but one. If you are choosing to allow yourself to be intimate with other people besides your spouse, you are becoming one with them. Let me have you think of a situation: take for example two wooden toys, now use some strong glue and glue the toys side by side, wait for the glue to dry and a bond to be formed, now pull the two toys about. What happens is that the toys actually break. Parts of wood that were once on one piece are now permanently adhered to the other piece and vice versa. They will never be the same! This is exactly what happens when you choose to be intimate outside of marriage. Pieces of you will be left behind and you will never be the same again! (please understand that God's grace is there for you if you have already made mistakes and you desire to repent, but it is God's best plan for you to stay pure when waiting for marriage)
These comments were understood, but there is still the looming question of "how do you know?" This one is hard to explain, because you just know. As you spend time in the Word and draw closer to God and walk daily with Christ, you develop a strong relationship with Him. You begin to think a little more like Him, you begin to want a little more time with Him and you want the same things that He wants. God uses this time that you are devoting to Him to help lead and guide you through His Word. When you look at this potential spouse and study God's Word, do they fit together? Are they a person of integrity? Are they a person that challenges and inspires you to grow closer to Christ? Are they a person that puts Christ first, you second and themselves last? Are they the type of person that gives you the desire to put their needs in front of your own? There is not a magic formula. If you want to know what God is trying to tell you, then you need to spend time with Him and listen for the answer.
I love my husband and the over twenty years we have been together have been a wonderful blessing! However, if I was not walking with God and seeking His will, I never would have married him. He was not what I was looking for. He was not the type of man I thought I needed. He would not have been my first choice. Praise God that His ways are higher than mine and that He knows what I need more than I do. I am certain that I would be divorced and/or miserable if I would have made my own choice. It is not always easy waiting on the Lord, but it is always best!
Monday, July 22, 2013
Noticing the Need
This weekend in Worship, our pastor was telling us how for many years he simple did not notice the need. He gave this example: "I could see someone with their arms full, carrying many things and approaching a door. I would simply think to myself, 'why didn't they choose to carry less stuff?' I would not even think about opening the door. It was just not an idea that would even cross my mind."
This idea has me thinking. I am usually a pretty observant person, and when faced with the situation the pastor described, I would typically open the door. However, I am sure there have been times that I haven't noticed the needs of those around me. I can become consumed with my day to day and forget to look outside my small box to see what those near me might be needing. What about you?
What needs might we be missing? Our their needs in our family, needs in our neighborhood or needs in our congregation that we can meet? We might not have a great deal of money, but we can still meet needs. Maybe we have some extra clothing or toys that we are being led to share. Maybe we can make a loaf of bread, meal or dessert for a friend. Maybe what they need is for us to simply watch their children for a few hours. It could be that we know someone that needs some encouragement or just to hear a cheerful voice; let's take a moment to write them a note or give them a call. I can meet many needs without spending much money at all.
First, we need to notice the needs. How can we help with needs we don't know exist? There are some simple steps we can take to notice the needs. One of the most effective steps is to simply listen. When we ask people "How are you doing?," we need to take the time to actually listen to an answer instead of just expecting a "fine. How are you?" The church office is also a good place to check for needs. They are often aware of many needs members of your congregation might have or needs that the church itself might have. Maybe you could sit in the nursery for an hour once a month and meet the needs of many parents and children during worship. Another idea is to enlist help. I will ask the kids what they have seen or heard and whom they think we should help. (they always seem to have at least one idea, I think it might be because there are 5 of them and only 1 of me)
No matter what you do to notice needs or to fill someone's need, let me encourage you to include your children. Help them to notice needs and see how easy it can be to fill some of them. Most children I know love to help and they love to feel like they are doing something important for someone else. We can train them to notice needs at a young age and they can have a lifetime of helping with the needs of others. What an amazing blessing for them, you and the people you serve!
This idea has me thinking. I am usually a pretty observant person, and when faced with the situation the pastor described, I would typically open the door. However, I am sure there have been times that I haven't noticed the needs of those around me. I can become consumed with my day to day and forget to look outside my small box to see what those near me might be needing. What about you?
What needs might we be missing? Our their needs in our family, needs in our neighborhood or needs in our congregation that we can meet? We might not have a great deal of money, but we can still meet needs. Maybe we have some extra clothing or toys that we are being led to share. Maybe we can make a loaf of bread, meal or dessert for a friend. Maybe what they need is for us to simply watch their children for a few hours. It could be that we know someone that needs some encouragement or just to hear a cheerful voice; let's take a moment to write them a note or give them a call. I can meet many needs without spending much money at all.
First, we need to notice the needs. How can we help with needs we don't know exist? There are some simple steps we can take to notice the needs. One of the most effective steps is to simply listen. When we ask people "How are you doing?," we need to take the time to actually listen to an answer instead of just expecting a "fine. How are you?" The church office is also a good place to check for needs. They are often aware of many needs members of your congregation might have or needs that the church itself might have. Maybe you could sit in the nursery for an hour once a month and meet the needs of many parents and children during worship. Another idea is to enlist help. I will ask the kids what they have seen or heard and whom they think we should help. (they always seem to have at least one idea, I think it might be because there are 5 of them and only 1 of me)
No matter what you do to notice needs or to fill someone's need, let me encourage you to include your children. Help them to notice needs and see how easy it can be to fill some of them. Most children I know love to help and they love to feel like they are doing something important for someone else. We can train them to notice needs at a young age and they can have a lifetime of helping with the needs of others. What an amazing blessing for them, you and the people you serve!
Friday, July 19, 2013
Spreading On My Jesus
It is summer here in the United States and with it comes many summer activities. Our family loves to do things in the outdoors....picking berries, swimming, biking, having picnics and playing sports. These are usually fun days. However, with these great times outside also comes the very hot sun. Our family has Scandinavian heritage and therefore we burn very easily, so with any outdoor fun comes a thick layer of sunscreen.
What if we could put on an extra layer of Jesus like we do our sunscreen? What if each time we left the house we could put a thick layer of Jesus on? A layer that would shine and glisten for others to see and also protect us from harmful rays. Wouldn't that be great!
Well, as we all know, most things that are important and valuable take time and hard work. Our relationship with Jesus is no different. If we are truly desiring to have a thick layer of Jesus on, we are going to have to put in the time. The more time we spend reading His word and talking to Him in prayer, the more we will begin to take on His characteristics. As we become more like Him we will "shine" for others around us to see and we will be more prepared to resist the temptations that come our way.
So I guess we can put on a thick layer of Jesus, it just takes a bit more time then the sunscreen. However, as long as we remember to reapply often, He will be there to protect and shine through us even on the cold, cloudy days.
Let me encourage you today to set aside some time to spend with Jesus. Put a thick layer of His word on you and your children today and everyday......then go out and let Him shine through you!
What if we could put on an extra layer of Jesus like we do our sunscreen? What if each time we left the house we could put a thick layer of Jesus on? A layer that would shine and glisten for others to see and also protect us from harmful rays. Wouldn't that be great!
Well, as we all know, most things that are important and valuable take time and hard work. Our relationship with Jesus is no different. If we are truly desiring to have a thick layer of Jesus on, we are going to have to put in the time. The more time we spend reading His word and talking to Him in prayer, the more we will begin to take on His characteristics. As we become more like Him we will "shine" for others around us to see and we will be more prepared to resist the temptations that come our way.
So I guess we can put on a thick layer of Jesus, it just takes a bit more time then the sunscreen. However, as long as we remember to reapply often, He will be there to protect and shine through us even on the cold, cloudy days.
Let me encourage you today to set aside some time to spend with Jesus. Put a thick layer of His word on you and your children today and everyday......then go out and let Him shine through you!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Wearing My Own Hat
I don't know about you, but I feel making my own choices is something that is harder than it seems. It seems to me that making my own choice would be easy. I should take a look at my choices, list the pros and cons, and make an educated decision. Well, sometimes this is a struggle for me and sometimes it is a struggle for my children.
I was thinking about this concept recently when we were taking a family vacation. The sun was hot and with our fair skin, we burn easily, so we were all wearing hats along with a thick layer of sunscreen. One afternoon when we were sitting outside playing on a blanket, our youngest child started to trade hats with his siblings. However, what he found was that his small bucket hat did not fit on anyone of his sibling's head and their visors or baseball hats were too big for him. He couldn't see clearly wearing their hats because they fell and covered his eyes. I think that is a great analogy for us! Why are we so interested in wearing other people's hats, why are we so interested in making the same choices as others?
I was thinking about this concept recently when we were taking a family vacation. The sun was hot and with our fair skin, we burn easily, so we were all wearing hats along with a thick layer of sunscreen. One afternoon when we were sitting outside playing on a blanket, our youngest child started to trade hats with his siblings. However, what he found was that his small bucket hat did not fit on anyone of his sibling's head and their visors or baseball hats were too big for him. He couldn't see clearly wearing their hats because they fell and covered his eyes. I think that is a great analogy for us! Why are we so interested in wearing other people's hats, why are we so interested in making the same choices as others?
There seem to have all sorts of outside influences pushing us to make certain choices. It could be called a form of peer pressure. What are our friends doing? What would so and so want me to do? How would it look if I did that? What are people going to think? What is the "professional" telling me to do? These are all phrases that run through my mind now and then. These are also some things that my children must be thinking as well when they use phrases like: "she made me do it;" or "I don't know what happened;" or "everyone else does it." Why is it so hard to wear my own hat?
One of my personal aims with our children is to help them resist peer pressure and help them be their own person. We don't really talk about it on a daily basis or anything, but I do encourage them to make their own choices. There are conversations anytime they feel that someone "made" them do something. Really, there are only very rare circumstances where someone can "make" you do something....they can encourage you and bribe or threaten you, but mostly, you are the one that chooses to complete the act. I also try to model for my children, the ability to stand against the norm and stand for what I have been convicted by or feel is best.
However, there are times when we get excited or emotionally involved in a situation and we become "caught up in the moment," and make a quick, rash, often poor choice. When this happens with my children, I help them to step back and think of the alternative options they had. When this happens to me, I often belittle myself and feel guilty for not taking the time to process the situation correctly. I have chosen to wear someone else's hat instead of my own, I need to remove their hat, give it back and return the hat that God has given me, back to my head.
Let me encourage you to wear your own hat today. Take a few moments and pray about the choices you are making for you and your family. Why have you chosen to: educate, nourish, discipline, encourage, pray with, or involve your children the way you have? Is it because you know that this is the path that God has chosen for your family? or is it because you are feeling pressured to do something a certain way? I know that I will be spending sometime today looking at our choices and making sure that I am wearing my own hat!
One of my personal aims with our children is to help them resist peer pressure and help them be their own person. We don't really talk about it on a daily basis or anything, but I do encourage them to make their own choices. There are conversations anytime they feel that someone "made" them do something. Really, there are only very rare circumstances where someone can "make" you do something....they can encourage you and bribe or threaten you, but mostly, you are the one that chooses to complete the act. I also try to model for my children, the ability to stand against the norm and stand for what I have been convicted by or feel is best.
However, there are times when we get excited or emotionally involved in a situation and we become "caught up in the moment," and make a quick, rash, often poor choice. When this happens with my children, I help them to step back and think of the alternative options they had. When this happens to me, I often belittle myself and feel guilty for not taking the time to process the situation correctly. I have chosen to wear someone else's hat instead of my own, I need to remove their hat, give it back and return the hat that God has given me, back to my head.
Let me encourage you to wear your own hat today. Take a few moments and pray about the choices you are making for you and your family. Why have you chosen to: educate, nourish, discipline, encourage, pray with, or involve your children the way you have? Is it because you know that this is the path that God has chosen for your family? or is it because you are feeling pressured to do something a certain way? I know that I will be spending sometime today looking at our choices and making sure that I am wearing my own hat!
Monday, July 8, 2013
Blessing and Being Blessed
Our ten year old daughter and I were driving to her sports practice the other day when she asked me, "why are people nice to us like that?" It was a very interesting and honest question. Why?
The previous day had brought two separate visitors to our home. The first was a dear friend and two of her wonderful children. They are precious just to spend time with, but that day they blessed our family not only with their presence, but also with a great lunch, some much needed supplies and helping hands on some of our projects. We were truly blessed! The second was a friend from our congregation that dropped their camper at our home for us to use this coming week on a family vacation. We try to enjoy this specific event each year and we typically sleep in tents. This would have been the first time tenting with all five children, but we were excited. Several weeks ago, we were sharing summer plans with this friend and they were surprised that we would consider tenting and didn't hesitate to say, "why don't you just use our camper?" Another amazing blessing!
Our daughter was genuinely asking why blessings like the ones we had received the day before seem to happen to our family all the time. I thought about it for a moment, and I believe the Holy Spirit led me to give her this answer: "Because that is how God is choosing to provide for and bless our family. He could have chosen to give your father a job that pays him tons of money. With a job like that, we could simply buy whatever we want and bless many others. Instead, God is blessing us through others. By doing that, God is also allowing their faith to grow." I got the "what?" look when I said the last statement. So I continued, "think about when we do something nice for someone else. When we make cakes for the firemen or collect hats and gloves for the needy, instead of birthday presents. Doesn't it make you feel great to be able to give these things to others?" She agreed with me. "Well, when we allow others to bless us, they get the same great feeling and know that they have had a part in God's amazing plan to provide for our family." She responded with a simple, "Oh."
To be completely honest, I had never thought of it that way before. There have been many times over the past 19 years when I have thought, "why isn't my husband paid more for what he does?" "Why doesn't God allow our finances to look differently than they do?" It is not that we haven't tried, at one point we were working five jobs between the two of us. We aim to live debt free, buy used, save hand me downs, and sell extra items on websites. But, what I learned many years ago is that God always gives us what we NEED, it might not be enough for what we WANT, nor may it come in a means we expect, but He has never failed us.
I hope you don't feel like I am boasting as I write this, that is really not my intent. It is very humbling to have people bless you by giving you things. I truly would much rather be able to tell my children that I would be happy to purchase them "xyz" with our own money. However, God has a bigger plan. The picture God sees is one of us blessing each other, blessing and being blessed.
Once there was someone who wanted to give us a fairly large gift. I asked, "why would you want to do that?" They looked at me with a slightly hurt look and said, "because we love you and it makes us happy to help you." I have seen that just as God is working on my heart (decreasing my pride, increasing my ability to be content), He is also working on the hearts of others. I am not suggesting that you sit on the temple steps and beg, just trying to encourage you to open yourself to God's greater plan of blessing and being blessed.
The previous day had brought two separate visitors to our home. The first was a dear friend and two of her wonderful children. They are precious just to spend time with, but that day they blessed our family not only with their presence, but also with a great lunch, some much needed supplies and helping hands on some of our projects. We were truly blessed! The second was a friend from our congregation that dropped their camper at our home for us to use this coming week on a family vacation. We try to enjoy this specific event each year and we typically sleep in tents. This would have been the first time tenting with all five children, but we were excited. Several weeks ago, we were sharing summer plans with this friend and they were surprised that we would consider tenting and didn't hesitate to say, "why don't you just use our camper?" Another amazing blessing!
Our daughter was genuinely asking why blessings like the ones we had received the day before seem to happen to our family all the time. I thought about it for a moment, and I believe the Holy Spirit led me to give her this answer: "Because that is how God is choosing to provide for and bless our family. He could have chosen to give your father a job that pays him tons of money. With a job like that, we could simply buy whatever we want and bless many others. Instead, God is blessing us through others. By doing that, God is also allowing their faith to grow." I got the "what?" look when I said the last statement. So I continued, "think about when we do something nice for someone else. When we make cakes for the firemen or collect hats and gloves for the needy, instead of birthday presents. Doesn't it make you feel great to be able to give these things to others?" She agreed with me. "Well, when we allow others to bless us, they get the same great feeling and know that they have had a part in God's amazing plan to provide for our family." She responded with a simple, "Oh."
To be completely honest, I had never thought of it that way before. There have been many times over the past 19 years when I have thought, "why isn't my husband paid more for what he does?" "Why doesn't God allow our finances to look differently than they do?" It is not that we haven't tried, at one point we were working five jobs between the two of us. We aim to live debt free, buy used, save hand me downs, and sell extra items on websites. But, what I learned many years ago is that God always gives us what we NEED, it might not be enough for what we WANT, nor may it come in a means we expect, but He has never failed us.
I hope you don't feel like I am boasting as I write this, that is really not my intent. It is very humbling to have people bless you by giving you things. I truly would much rather be able to tell my children that I would be happy to purchase them "xyz" with our own money. However, God has a bigger plan. The picture God sees is one of us blessing each other, blessing and being blessed.
Once there was someone who wanted to give us a fairly large gift. I asked, "why would you want to do that?" They looked at me with a slightly hurt look and said, "because we love you and it makes us happy to help you." I have seen that just as God is working on my heart (decreasing my pride, increasing my ability to be content), He is also working on the hearts of others. I am not suggesting that you sit on the temple steps and beg, just trying to encourage you to open yourself to God's greater plan of blessing and being blessed.
Friday, July 5, 2013
I Love My Children, I Love My Children, I Love My Children
I should have known. I write a blog about looking on the bright side, dealing with the chaos and building memories for our family and then what happens......my family goes on a revolt. Today has seriously been one of the hardest days I have had in a long time. One of those days when I just keep chanting to myself: "I love my children, I love my children, I love my children!" Can you relate?
The baby wakes up with the sun after not sleeping well through the night, the chores aren't finished with guests on their way, the dog is barking continuously at something in the back field, someone accidentally turned the knob on the stove and gas was pouring into our home for several minutes before it was noticed, everyone is feeling the need to tattle and whine........and on and on and on. "I love my children! I love being a mom!!!!" Right, I do love this, don't I?
Yes! I do love my children and I do love being a mom, but sometimes I just have a bad day. I know that loving my children and sharing Christ's love with them is the most important job in the world. I know that even though I am having a bad day my children still need to know they are loved, secure and taken care of. It really isn't their fault that I am having a bad day, the need to put my grumpiness aside and give a few extra hugs. Hugs make me feel better too.
Let me encourage you to step back on those grumpy days, give extra hugs and remember your job is essential! I am trying to do the same.
The baby wakes up with the sun after not sleeping well through the night, the chores aren't finished with guests on their way, the dog is barking continuously at something in the back field, someone accidentally turned the knob on the stove and gas was pouring into our home for several minutes before it was noticed, everyone is feeling the need to tattle and whine........and on and on and on. "I love my children! I love being a mom!!!!" Right, I do love this, don't I?
Yes! I do love my children and I do love being a mom, but sometimes I just have a bad day. I know that loving my children and sharing Christ's love with them is the most important job in the world. I know that even though I am having a bad day my children still need to know they are loved, secure and taken care of. It really isn't their fault that I am having a bad day, the need to put my grumpiness aside and give a few extra hugs. Hugs make me feel better too.
Let me encourage you to step back on those grumpy days, give extra hugs and remember your job is essential! I am trying to do the same.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Looking On the Bright Side
In a few days we will be going to the airport and picking up my niece and nephew. We are excited about their visit and the time the cousins will get to spend together. It is going to be fun, right?
Well, we were talking about this great adventure in small group Bible study the other day. I was sharing some of my concerns, but mostly my excitement. We are getting sleeping arrangements ready, signing them up for swim lessons, registering for VBS and just planning for a really nice visit. The kiddos and I have been tidying up the house and trying to work on the logistics.
As my joy with a tiny hint of anxiety is spilling out in our study group another member of the group tells me that he has a totally different vision for the long visit. He explains that his vision is of my husband and I duct taped to kitchen chairs while seven children march around us celebrating their victory. He imagines children running all around the yard, jumping off the shed roof and acting as you might imagine seven children under the age of thirteen might act with no supervision. The entire time he is explaining his vision he is laughing and enjoying his story immensely.
This vision of chaos made me chuckle, simply because I can't see it ever happening. The children know they need me.....or at least my skills: cook, taxi driver, bank, referee and events coordinator. I am not sure about my niece and nephew, but our children know that we are dependent upon each other and things work the best when we all work together.
I am not completely delusional, I know that having seven children is going to be challenging. I know that my car only seats seven and that now there are nine of us. I know that the laundry and the dishes are going to pile up quickly and are going to need to be attended to often. I know that by adding two more children to our mix that the amount of tattling and arguing is bound to increase. However, I am choosing not to care. I am choosing to be positive and look at the bright side.
There are bound to be plenty of times where I want to throw in the towel and say, "what was I thinking!" However, I am looking forward to the times when I say, "why haven't we done this sooner?" Our children are growing so fast, before we know it they will be leaving home and starting families of their own. I am excited about the memories we are going to make, the relationships we are going to build and am praying for Christ to make a lasting impact on my niece and nephew.
Let me encourage you to take a risk...do something that others may think is crazy....impact someone's eternal life. We truly only have a few years with our children, let's make the most of them and look at the bright side!
Well, we were talking about this great adventure in small group Bible study the other day. I was sharing some of my concerns, but mostly my excitement. We are getting sleeping arrangements ready, signing them up for swim lessons, registering for VBS and just planning for a really nice visit. The kiddos and I have been tidying up the house and trying to work on the logistics.
As my joy with a tiny hint of anxiety is spilling out in our study group another member of the group tells me that he has a totally different vision for the long visit. He explains that his vision is of my husband and I duct taped to kitchen chairs while seven children march around us celebrating their victory. He imagines children running all around the yard, jumping off the shed roof and acting as you might imagine seven children under the age of thirteen might act with no supervision. The entire time he is explaining his vision he is laughing and enjoying his story immensely.
This vision of chaos made me chuckle, simply because I can't see it ever happening. The children know they need me.....or at least my skills: cook, taxi driver, bank, referee and events coordinator. I am not sure about my niece and nephew, but our children know that we are dependent upon each other and things work the best when we all work together.
I am not completely delusional, I know that having seven children is going to be challenging. I know that my car only seats seven and that now there are nine of us. I know that the laundry and the dishes are going to pile up quickly and are going to need to be attended to often. I know that by adding two more children to our mix that the amount of tattling and arguing is bound to increase. However, I am choosing not to care. I am choosing to be positive and look at the bright side.
There are bound to be plenty of times where I want to throw in the towel and say, "what was I thinking!" However, I am looking forward to the times when I say, "why haven't we done this sooner?" Our children are growing so fast, before we know it they will be leaving home and starting families of their own. I am excited about the memories we are going to make, the relationships we are going to build and am praying for Christ to make a lasting impact on my niece and nephew.
Let me encourage you to take a risk...do something that others may think is crazy....impact someone's eternal life. We truly only have a few years with our children, let's make the most of them and look at the bright side!
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Broken....Lacking Love
I have just recently noticed the amount of people that I encounter everyday that seem to be broken, hurt and don't feel truly loved. I don't know if my eyes were closed, or if my life was just "too busy" for me to really notice them before. I hope I wasn't purposing just turning the other way!
As I have stopped and taken the time to talk to some of them and get to know them, I have noticed a few similarities. First, they have never known unconditional love or it has been an extremely long time since they last experienced unconditional love. It seems like they have learned that love is a tool to be used to manipulate a situation. Most of the broken people I know are women and this "love" that they experience is used to manipulate them into staying in hurtful and/or abusive relationships. These women are so desperate for some loving attention that they end up stuck in horrible situations.
Another similarity that I noticed, is the need for approval or attention. These broken women seem to be stuck in an approval seeking stage. They are always trying to make someone happy, so that they can win their approval. To me, it seems that these ladies are working to please everyone but themselves and they end up lonely, hurt and unhappy. The whole situation is very sad to me.
There are two actions I want to take from now on. The first is trying to show all people, but especially those I know are hurt and broken, the unconditional love of Christ. I will try my best to befriend them and offer a hand whenever I can, but I am human and I will fail them. I hope to help them understand that all humans are going to fail them eventually. None of us are capable of filling their lives like Jesus can. He is truly the only one that can turn our mourning into dancing and our sorrow into joy. His love and how He is able to change peoples lives is really the only thing that is going to help them get unstuck from the horrible situation they are in. Let me encourage you to look around you for hurting people, affirm that they are valuable and to lift them up in prayer.
The other step I want to take is to help my children see that they are valuable, precious creations of our loving Father. I want to help them develop a personal relationship with Christ and encourage them to see that He is the only one that can fill the hole they have in their heart. I will use my own failures to show them that even though I love them immensely, I will still let them down and they will still let me down. Only Jesus is the one that never fails us. I pray that by giving them this foundation they will never find the need to seek their approval from others. They are fearfully and wonderfully made and Christ's death and resurrection is all the approval they need!
As I have stopped and taken the time to talk to some of them and get to know them, I have noticed a few similarities. First, they have never known unconditional love or it has been an extremely long time since they last experienced unconditional love. It seems like they have learned that love is a tool to be used to manipulate a situation. Most of the broken people I know are women and this "love" that they experience is used to manipulate them into staying in hurtful and/or abusive relationships. These women are so desperate for some loving attention that they end up stuck in horrible situations.
Another similarity that I noticed, is the need for approval or attention. These broken women seem to be stuck in an approval seeking stage. They are always trying to make someone happy, so that they can win their approval. To me, it seems that these ladies are working to please everyone but themselves and they end up lonely, hurt and unhappy. The whole situation is very sad to me.
There are two actions I want to take from now on. The first is trying to show all people, but especially those I know are hurt and broken, the unconditional love of Christ. I will try my best to befriend them and offer a hand whenever I can, but I am human and I will fail them. I hope to help them understand that all humans are going to fail them eventually. None of us are capable of filling their lives like Jesus can. He is truly the only one that can turn our mourning into dancing and our sorrow into joy. His love and how He is able to change peoples lives is really the only thing that is going to help them get unstuck from the horrible situation they are in. Let me encourage you to look around you for hurting people, affirm that they are valuable and to lift them up in prayer.
The other step I want to take is to help my children see that they are valuable, precious creations of our loving Father. I want to help them develop a personal relationship with Christ and encourage them to see that He is the only one that can fill the hole they have in their heart. I will use my own failures to show them that even though I love them immensely, I will still let them down and they will still let me down. Only Jesus is the one that never fails us. I pray that by giving them this foundation they will never find the need to seek their approval from others. They are fearfully and wonderfully made and Christ's death and resurrection is all the approval they need!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)