A Hole In My Bucket

There are some days when I awake and am truly ready to start the day. I get my chores done before most of the children arise and I feel like I have this whole "mom" thing down. Then of course, there are other days when it seems that no matter how hard I try, I get nothing accomplished. Every time I start a task someone is calling me to help them with their task. Those days are very draining, I feel like there is a hole in my bucket.

I have found that my attitude or bucket overflows to those around me. If my bucket is full and I am finding joy in serving my family, it seems that my family finds joy as well. When I am completing my chores without complaint and helping others joyfully....it seems that our children do the same. These are good days and our buckets are full.

However, the same happens in reverse. If I am crabby and dragging myself through the day, so does the rest of the family. When I let my chores go half done, their chores are often half done as well. A hole in my bucket seems to create a hole in everyone's bucket.

This seems pretty obvious to me now, but it has taken me a long time to see this connection. It appears that my little followers reflect their leader. They rarely go through their day with more enthusiasm or productive energy than I have. It reminds me of a something a pastor once shared with our worship team: "You set the standard. No one in the congregation will have more energy than you. If you want them to be excited about praising God, you need to be excited yourself." Interesting.... I set the standard for attitude in my home; I set the productive energy level; if I want them to be excited about helping each other, I need to be excited about helping them.

When I feel like there is a hole in my bucket, I am now going to strive to take a few moments and see if it can be fixed. I certainly don't want everyone going through their day feeling like there is a hole in their bucket. These days when I feel like my bucket is not full, I step away and give myself a "time out." I try to use this time out for a short time of prayer, maybe read a verse or two, and remember that I have the most important job in the world.... I am a mom and I have precious lives in my care and they will be the bucket fillers themselves one day.

Today I pray that your bucket is full, that you find joy in helping others and that your joy overflows to help fill someone else's bucket.

Training Up Your Child

Most of us have heard and/or read Proverbs 22:6...."Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." I often ponder this verse. I know that it doesn't seem like it should be that confusing, but I struggle with what it means to "train" and if "the way he should go" could be different for each child.

I think it is a given that the verse refers to teaching our children about the Bible and what Christ has done for them. It is important for us to help them memorize verses, attend church and develop Christian character. But, I think there could be more to it. As I look at our five children I can see that they each have been created with different gifts and interests. They are each so very different from the other, sometimes it amazing me that they have the same parents. I believe that they are each so different because God has created them each with a unique purpose. "Training a child in the way he should go" makes me think that we need to help our children find the unique purpose God has for their lives.

Finding God's purpose for our children's lives is quite challenging, because He doesn't just come out and tell me. I pray about it, that God would help me to see what He desires for each one of them. We talk about it. Anytime one of the kiddos says, "I think I want to be ____ when I grow up." We take that opportunity to encourage their interests, but remind them that it is important to seek God's plan for their lives. I certainly don't want to squish any of my children's dreams, but I find it challenging to believe that God has created my son to be a "GatorBoy." So, we feel it is important to remind them often that God has a plan for them, and that His plan is best for their lives.

We also try to provide our children with opportunities to try things that they think they are interested in. This is the most challenging for me. It is often fun to try something new, but finding what they might enjoy is not always easy or affordable. I also find it very challenging when I think we have found something that is a great fit and that they love very much...just to have something new and more interesting come along. I think that is just the "control freak" in me. However, no matter how many activities we try and how many events we attend, I know that God is working His plan in the lives of our children.

If you asked me today for my best guess, I would tell you that we have: an athlete and coach; an actress; a veterinarian; a stay at home mom; a musician; a chef; a worship leader; and a cupboard emptier. The joy of this adventure comes by watching them try new things, finding things they like and seeing God working in their lives. No matter where God has planned for our children to travel on their journey, I am praying that they will love and serve Him always and that we did our best to help them follow the path He has for them.  

Freedom for Fun!

As I look out the window this morning, I am in the middle of a beautiful winter wonderland. We were blessed yesterday with about 6 inches of new snow. The scene outside looks like a painting...snow covered trees, crisp white blankets of snow on the yard, very clean and new. There is one thing that I noticed however, something is missing. This morning as I look at the snow, I think FUN is missing. There is no sign of fun, no sign that five kiddos live in this home, no sign that anyone lives in the house actually.

Reflecting on the snow this morning has made me see that I need to remember to take some time for fun. We get very busy with our schooling, chores, volunteering and responsibilities that I think we often miss the gift that God has given us. Yes, I just called snow a gift. I remember when I was young and how the snow seemed to call to me. It didn't matter if the sidewalk was shoveled, I would walk in the deep banks of snow. It didn't matter if our sled was broken, I would use a box or garbage can lid. My favorite thing was finding a crisp, clean patch of snow and try to make a perfect snow angel with no footprints or blemishes. (getting up is the hard part) I loved the snow! I am not sure I am passing that love of snow to my children. Maybe today we will work at having some fun in the snow.

I wonder what else I once loved, or got real excited about that no longer seems fun. What types of messages are we sending to our children? Do my children think that I enjoy being a mom? Do our children think their father loves his work? Do our children see our excitement for worshipping God and studying His Word? I know that I want them to "see" me loving being a mom and having fun in my relationship with Christ. I want them to have fun in their relationship with Christ.

Today I give myself permission to have fun. Fun in the snow, fun being a mom and fun growing in Christ. The freedom is there, I just simply need to embrace it. Excuse me now, I am going to go make a snow angel.

Right is Right

We had a youth leader a few years ago who had a saying that I love. "Right is Right, even if no one is doing it. Wrong is Wrong, even if everyone is doing it."

Yesterday there were several items that appeared on the news or on social media posts that just made me mad. I just don't understand why there are so many people that claim to believe God's Word but, then they work so hard to change His Word to fit their situation.

I strongly believe that we are all born sinful, that we are all made with desires that challenge us daily. Some of us have trouble with anger and violence. We have times that we can not control the rage inside of us. Others, are born prone to gluttony. We over eat and cannot keep ourselves from eating things we shouldn't. Many of us find the need to be satisfied by gambling. We truly don't feel whole if we aren't taking the risk. We each have something....adultery, drugs, alcohol, deception.....we each have something that we are prone to do, something that we must daily give to God and ask for His help. Just because this is how we are, doesn't make it right to give into our sinful desires. We are sinful beings, desperately in need of Christ and His forgiveness and love.

No matter how society changes....right is right and wrong is wrong. Ever since we were removed from the Garden....there has been hate, there has been abuse, there has been poverty, there has been selfishness....why do so many feel that today is different? Why do so many feel they can "justify" their actions? Why hasn't anyone showed them the radical love that Christ has for them and how He can truly justify and sanctify them?

Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that is screaming, "NO, WRONG IS WRONG!" I hate the fact that the leaders that my children are growing up with keep changing the boundaries and that our society feels the right to pick and choose which sins are "acceptable." How are these children going to stay true to the faith and not follow the leaders around us that are being "blown and tossed by the wind?"

Maybe it is up to me. Maybe it is up to you. Maybe we are the ones that are suppose to be showing God's amazing love to the those around us. Maybe we are the ones being asked to raise children with roots so deep that no matter what "storm" comes along they will still be standing strong for Christ. Maybe I am the one that needs to remind people that "Right is Right, even if no one is doing it. Wrong is Wrong, even if everyone is doing it." May God grant us all strength to stand strong for Him and spread His love to those around us! 

Me vs. the Baby

Our youngest child is now 11months old. I love his since of curiosity, his smile makes me melt and his face swallowing kisses make me laugh. He is a blessing, but he is challenging me more every day. It seems to have become a "battle," it is me vs. the baby.

Our baby has decided that he "needs" me at all times. I have commented that I think the umbilical cord is still attached. If he is playing and senses that I have left the room, he begins crawling from room to room calling for me. If I am doing anything....cooking, typing, helping another child, anything....he comes to me, pulls on my legs and signs "up." This adventure even continues into the night. He is still not sleeping through the night and actually seems to be waking up more often during the night. Recently we spent almost in hour battling in the middle of the night.....he would be standing up crying, I would comfort and lay him back down....and repeat.

About the time when I decide, "that is it, I have had enough. You are just going to have to cry." I think of how I would feel if I perceived that I was in need and no one was helping me. How many times have I reached out to God and He has ignored me or left me to comfort myself? Never. I think of God's amazing love for me and that maybe I should be more like my son. Maybe when I sense that I am not near God, I should move close to Him. Maybe I should be discontent with anything but being held in His loving arms.

I know that I am not God, but a mother's love is a great earthly example of how God loves us. I guess the battle is really not Me vs. the Baby....it is really Me vs. Me. The "me" that has important things to get accomplished and the "me" that wants my son to know without a doubt that he is loved, precious, and that I will always be here for him. Looks like this battle is going to continue for some time. May God bless you with any battles you might be having.

Starting Early

I have had many moms comment over the years on how difficult it is to get their girls to dress modestly now that they are in Middle or High School. They ask me how we are doing it and when we started the conversation about modesty. My answer is we started very early, our children know nothing else.

I can still remember a time when our oldest was about a year old. We were shopping at a nicer department store for some church dresses. I came across a leather mini-skirt, halter and jacket. Not really thinking, I reacted and audibly said, "Oh, my!" I hadn't seen that there was another mother with her little one on the other side of the rack. She looked at me, looked at the leather mini-skirt and said, "Oh yes, I always wanted my baby to look like a prostitute."Now those aren't the exact words I was thinking, but they are close. It was at that moment that I decided our daughter would be raised to dress modestly.

There are some easy ways that we have found to dress modestly without looking like we are from another century.....wearing layers: our daughters wear camisoles under almost ever top and often have fun wraps or button down sweaters to wear over items. We also wear shorts or leggings under our skirts and dresses....not necessarily because they are too short, as most are at/below the knee, but because we have active girls that sometimes forget their dresses may rise up when they are playing. We have found it extremely difficult to find shorts that are long enough to be worn on their own, so most often we look in the boys department or take a scissors to a pair of pants that still fit us in the waist but are too short. This also works great when those favorite pants are now too short to wear, we can get a few more months of wear by making them shorts.

Before the girls are old enough to make their own choices, we fill their closet and dressers with what we feel is appropriate clothing. But, sooner or later the questions start. "Why can't I wear this?" "Can we buy that?" "My friend has one of those." The conversation usually starts at about 4 or 5 years old. We talk about how our bodies are a gift from God; how He has asked us to be modest; how He has chosen one special person for us to marry and that our bodies should stay covered and protected for that special person; how the Bible asks us not to lead others astray, and how dressing modestly helps others not to sin; and how we want people to notice us for our character not our clothes. Ok, we don't discuss all of these with our 4/5 year old, but these are all things we talk about as the conversation continues through the years. And, this will be a conversation that continues through the years...often with a gentle reminder to return to your room and find a better choice. I typically think, would I want you to wear that when you are 16 and going to worship? If the answer is no, then back upstairs you go.

Each family needs to make a decision about what is best for their family and how they feel God is leading them. These are just some ideas that work well for us and our three girls. May God truly grant you wisdom as you deal with modesty in your home.
                     

I Was Just Joking!

I don't know what it is like at your home, but here in our home we have many who think they are funny. I have nothing against funny...one of our daughters came in by us last night and read us a few jokes she had found: "Why don't you tell secrets on a farm? Because the corn has ears, the potato has eyes and the beans talk." Sorry, it made me chuckle. However, the type of funny I don't like is when we are funny because we made fun of someone else. "I was just joking," these are words I don't like to hear. 

To me, "I was just joking," is a clear sign that someone is being made fun of. It means that one sibling in our home is deciding to have fun at the expense of another sibling. These are words I have tried to eliminate from our home...not only the words, but the attitude that goes with them.

We have not been 100% successful with this goal. It is proving to be quite difficult because we have others in our lives who feel that joking at others expense is acceptable. There are even numerous TV shows designed just to make jokes at others expense. We do not watch these shows, but much of society does.

I was beginning to think that maybe I was just weird and that I should just relax and go with the flow. Then I read this verse from Proverbs 26:19...

 Like a madman shooting

    firebrands or deadly arrows

¹⁹ 

is a man who deceives his neighbor

    and says, “I was only joking!”

I must have read that verse several times over the years, but I never noticed the wording before. So, maybe I am not so crazy....maybe life is precious and we should treat others like they are precious....maybe I won't give up trying to remove, "I was just joking," from our home....and maybe this will be the next verse that we memorize as a family.