Starting Early

I have had many moms comment over the years on how difficult it is to get their girls to dress modestly now that they are in Middle or High School. They ask me how we are doing it and when we started the conversation about modesty. My answer is we started very early, our children know nothing else.

I can still remember a time when our oldest was about a year old. We were shopping at a nicer department store for some church dresses. I came across a leather mini-skirt, halter and jacket. Not really thinking, I reacted and audibly said, "Oh, my!" I hadn't seen that there was another mother with her little one on the other side of the rack. She looked at me, looked at the leather mini-skirt and said, "Oh yes, I always wanted my baby to look like a prostitute."Now those aren't the exact words I was thinking, but they are close. It was at that moment that I decided our daughter would be raised to dress modestly.

There are some easy ways that we have found to dress modestly without looking like we are from another century.....wearing layers: our daughters wear camisoles under almost ever top and often have fun wraps or button down sweaters to wear over items. We also wear shorts or leggings under our skirts and dresses....not necessarily because they are too short, as most are at/below the knee, but because we have active girls that sometimes forget their dresses may rise up when they are playing. We have found it extremely difficult to find shorts that are long enough to be worn on their own, so most often we look in the boys department or take a scissors to a pair of pants that still fit us in the waist but are too short. This also works great when those favorite pants are now too short to wear, we can get a few more months of wear by making them shorts.

Before the girls are old enough to make their own choices, we fill their closet and dressers with what we feel is appropriate clothing. But, sooner or later the questions start. "Why can't I wear this?" "Can we buy that?" "My friend has one of those." The conversation usually starts at about 4 or 5 years old. We talk about how our bodies are a gift from God; how He has asked us to be modest; how He has chosen one special person for us to marry and that our bodies should stay covered and protected for that special person; how the Bible asks us not to lead others astray, and how dressing modestly helps others not to sin; and how we want people to notice us for our character not our clothes. Ok, we don't discuss all of these with our 4/5 year old, but these are all things we talk about as the conversation continues through the years. And, this will be a conversation that continues through the years...often with a gentle reminder to return to your room and find a better choice. I typically think, would I want you to wear that when you are 16 and going to worship? If the answer is no, then back upstairs you go.

Each family needs to make a decision about what is best for their family and how they feel God is leading them. These are just some ideas that work well for us and our three girls. May God truly grant you wisdom as you deal with modesty in your home.