Marriage Reflections

It was a day much like today...cloudy with a bit of a chill in the air. During the day it would rain a bit, the sun would shine bright and it would snow big fluffy flakes. In one day I would go from being a single girl living for her own ambitions and desires to becoming a wife and help mate, focusing on what is most important for us together. It is crazy when I think about it. Nineteen years ago today, I married the man that God had chosen for me. The very one he had set aside just for me. The one that would make me a more complete person and I would make him a more complete person. Our amazing adventure had would begin.....and what an adventure it has been.

When the topic of marriage or relationships comes up, I am often asked how long we have been together, and how we have "survived."I love to share my thoughts on our marriage, and I share them with our daughters often.....I pray that they are blessed to have a marriage as strong or even stronger than ours. I feel it is very important at a young age to instill godly ideas of marriage with our daughters, as I know the world/society is pushing their idea of marriage on my daughters already.

Here are a few things I tell them:
-Marry the man that God has chosen for you! There is a man that is right for you, and you will only know this when you pray and ask God to lead you. He knows what is best for you and has a best plan for your life.
-Marry someone who loves God more than he loves you. This sounds strange, but it is important to find someone who is in love with God. If he is in love with God, then he will continually seek God and will strive to do what God feels is best for you and your family. Marriage can be very stressful at times, it is important for you both to be seeking God's will for your relationship.
-Looks might be important, but they will change. When you meet the man you will marry, he might be 18 or 23 or who knows how old. When you have a marriage built upon the Bible, this marriage will last for many decades. This boy you met at 18 is going to look much different when he is a grandpa and 60. Be sure that your love will last even when his looks change and that he will love you when your looks change.
-Love a man for his character and who he is. It is important to love someone for what is inside....do they love Christ? do they honor you with their actions? do they act humbly? do they serve others? A person will change as they mature, but the core of his character will most likely not change. Be sure that his character is something that you can live with for the next 50 years.
-Talk about it early. I strongly believe that one reason our marriage has lasted so long is because we laid a foundation early. Before we were married we would stay up late, some times 2 or 3am, discussing our beliefs, dreams and desires. We both would have our Bibles out and be ready to back up our beliefs with the Word. They were some hard times, but we discussed what type of church we would go to; what we wanted to teach our children; if we wanted to have children; and how we were going to "act" as a married couple. I truly believe that this is the most important pre-marriage activity we did. We knew where the other person stood on everything that was important to us and them.
-Keep your relationship pure. There will be endless opportunities in your marriage to be tempted and give way to your sinful desires. By keeping your relationship pure before marriage you are practicing your self-control, you are showing one another that you can resist temptation and you are laying a foundation that will help you to stay strong through out your entire marriage.

I am truly rejoicing today in our 19 years of marriage and I pray that our children and you, and your children are all blessed with marriages that last even longer!