Sharing Parenting Ideas

It happened again yesterday. Our children were at an activity where the majority of people had never met us before. By the end of the two hour experience I received several positive comments on our children's behavior and a couple, "we need to talk and get your secrets." I enjoy hearing those comments, I am honored, and I share the positive comments with my children in the car. I want them to know that their behavior both bad and good, is noticed by those around them.

This time on the way home when I shared the comments, our oldest daughter said, "we don't have any secrets," and she laughed. She is right, we usually don't have secrets in our home and how we are choosing to raise our children is no secret either. However, it is a great deal of work and once I tell people what we do, the response is typically, "I don't think that would work for our family."

I understand that response completely. Although I truly enjoy encouraging parents and I love to give advice, I also know that it is hard to do something exactly like someone else. We each need to find what works best with our personality and with the personalities of our children. I have learned a great deal from observing and talking to other parents, however, I almost always need to take what they give me and make it my own.

I think the "secret" to raising children that you enjoy being with and that receive positive comments from others is knowing your goal. Think about what type of child you would like to have....how will they speak, act and present themselves. Once you have decided "where you are going," you can develop a plan on how to get there. Each family has behaviors that are most important to them, so rules and tasks that get them to those behaviors are what should be emphasized in your family.

Although it is hard not to compare children or second guess your parenting skills, try not to judge yourself too strictly. Let me encourage you to step back, take a look at where you want to go, and develop a plan to get there. Spend time with parents and families...watch others when you are out in public, they can teach you both what you want to do and what you do not want to do. Don't be afraid to ask questions, I haven't met a mom yet that is not willing to share a bit of advice. Pray, pray for God to grant you wisdom and discernment as you raise these blessings He has given you. Lastly, have fun! Children grow up way too fast, be sure you don't miss the opportunities to enjoy it.