This is the final part of three in a series entitled "God in our everyday," which was inspired by another parent asking me how our family includes God in our everyday events. I certainly don't have all the answers, this is just me sharing with you! I would love for you to share some ideas with me on how you help your children see that God is with us everyday.
Another way that we help our children see that God is part of every aspect of our lives is by including Him in our studies. Now we use a regular curriculum and do not spend time each day completing a religion curriculum or Bible workbook. However, in many things that we study we can see that God had a hand in the situation. Almost everything in science is an example of God's amazing gifts and the divine design that He has for this world. Much of history surrounds people defending their faith or being challenged because of it. When talking about the environment we discuss good stewardship of the earth we have been entrusted with. If someone is struggling with their studies we help to point out the great talents that God has given them and how we are told that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. One of the goals is for our children to not only to learn what the "educators" feel is important, but also of the great LOVE God has for us and how God's best plan is truly the best choice.
We are also very cautious when our children are enjoying a media production. For the most part, our children do not watch, read or listen to something that we have not researched and have approved. There are many productions out there that seem harmless enough, but when you continue to look into them you see otherwise. A great deal of the time, we will also talk about what we have just watched or listened to. This is a wonderful practice for families because it teaches kids to look critically at what the media production is really trying to teach, and it helps them learn what concepts they should be looking for. Ultimately the goal is for them to build a skill that will allow them to make great choices all on their own.
Please don't misunderstand me....our children are sinners just like the rest, they make mistakes just like all of us, and everything I wrote about in this series is a process. We are much better at somethings than others, but these are some of the things that we strive to do with our family. Remembering our goal, of saving faith in Christ, we do our best to guide our days. Each step of the way, the idea is for our children to learn skills that will help them to be lifelong Christians....skills that will help them realize that our faith is truly WHO WE ARE, it is not something that just happens on Sunday mornings....skills that will guide them through the rocky world set before them, when we and not around....skills that will help them to seek out God's best plan for them in every situation.
May God truly bless you and your family as you strive to emphasize that God is part of your everyday as well!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
God In Our Everyday (part 2)
This is the second part of three in a series entitled "God in our everyday," which was inspired by another parent asking me how our family includes God in our everyday events. I certainly don't have all the answers, this is just me sharing with you!
There are many little sayings we have in our home (some serious and some funny) that help us remember that we our children of our Heavenly Father. I have said them so often, that now the children have started saying some of them to each other.....
-"You are beautiful because God made you that way" (it is not because of what you wear or what you do or what other's think. There is an entire post about this entitled "You Are Beautiful.");
-"People are a precious gift from God" (therefore we do not hit, pretend shoot, or hurt people; we show Christ love to people around us);
-"A joy filled heart makes a cheerful face" (there is no pouting or making mad faces, our hearts our filled with the Joy of Christ, so even though we may be sad we need to remember the Joy we have in Christ. Our children are certainly allowed to be sad or upset, however, we don't want them dwelling on their sad situation, we want them looking at it with new eyes and seeing how to address the situation in a way that will help them not be sad or upset. This comes from a desire for them to work through their problems, not dwell on them.);
-"Your job is to listen and obey" (this comes from Ephesians 6:1 and is one of the first things our children learn. This in no way means that they are not allowed to share their opinions or speak freely, what this means is when we disagree their job is to respect the authority God has given us and do what we asked even if they would prefer to do something else. I know that some of you will think this is very harsh, but it truly is not. We desire for our children to learn obedience as we want them to be obedient to God's Word, this is simply a way for them to practice this obedience; it also helps to keep them safe. If you are running out into the street and don't see the car that just turned the corner and I ask you to stop, I NEED you to obey now, not have a discussion with me about it.);
These next ones are more of a responses to situations and less just plain phrases:
-When asked what we are having for dinner, my response most times is ..."we are not eating dinner today, we are fasting." (This is not meant at all to undermine the benefits of fasting or the spiritual gains that come from fasting. My husband and I have both fasted at different times and for different reasons. This is just a simple phrase that I use to help my children see that there are things more important than food that we should be focused on. We do feed our children and have never forced them to fast.)
_When asked why they can not watch a certain movie or listen to a certain song, my response is typically....."God has told us to guard our hearts, and minds." (We feel it is very important to help children learn what is going to be harmful to them. We have taught our children to turn away when something we are not expecting comes on the TV or is part of a movie. Their innocence and purity can be lost with just one vivid picture. This is becoming increasingly difficult, but as we continue to discuss media that harms our spirit, they continually grow stronger and make wise decisions for themselves.
-When our children say something like..."I'm starving." We will respond with "no you're not, your name is _________; I remember I was there when we named you." Our preschool age son will then say "my tummy is starving." (makes me smile) There are two things here we would like our kiddos to learn. First is simply to ask, "may I please have something to eat?" But, more importantly we point out that our children have never been starving. They have never gone more than a few hours without food. There are children in this world that truly are starving. There are children/people in this world that are eating rocks because they just desire to have something in their stomachs. We are asking our children to be grateful for the food they have and to remember that they are richly blessed, even when they are feeling hungry.
I hope these words bless and encourage you in some way. I know that I have a lot to learn, and that this journey of parenting is long. Thank you so much for walking it with me. I would love to hear some phrases or responses you use in your family that help encourage your family in their faith!
There are many little sayings we have in our home (some serious and some funny) that help us remember that we our children of our Heavenly Father. I have said them so often, that now the children have started saying some of them to each other.....
-"You are beautiful because God made you that way" (it is not because of what you wear or what you do or what other's think. There is an entire post about this entitled "You Are Beautiful.");
-"People are a precious gift from God" (therefore we do not hit, pretend shoot, or hurt people; we show Christ love to people around us);
-"A joy filled heart makes a cheerful face" (there is no pouting or making mad faces, our hearts our filled with the Joy of Christ, so even though we may be sad we need to remember the Joy we have in Christ. Our children are certainly allowed to be sad or upset, however, we don't want them dwelling on their sad situation, we want them looking at it with new eyes and seeing how to address the situation in a way that will help them not be sad or upset. This comes from a desire for them to work through their problems, not dwell on them.);
-"Your job is to listen and obey" (this comes from Ephesians 6:1 and is one of the first things our children learn. This in no way means that they are not allowed to share their opinions or speak freely, what this means is when we disagree their job is to respect the authority God has given us and do what we asked even if they would prefer to do something else. I know that some of you will think this is very harsh, but it truly is not. We desire for our children to learn obedience as we want them to be obedient to God's Word, this is simply a way for them to practice this obedience; it also helps to keep them safe. If you are running out into the street and don't see the car that just turned the corner and I ask you to stop, I NEED you to obey now, not have a discussion with me about it.);
These next ones are more of a responses to situations and less just plain phrases:
-When asked what we are having for dinner, my response most times is ..."we are not eating dinner today, we are fasting." (This is not meant at all to undermine the benefits of fasting or the spiritual gains that come from fasting. My husband and I have both fasted at different times and for different reasons. This is just a simple phrase that I use to help my children see that there are things more important than food that we should be focused on. We do feed our children and have never forced them to fast.)
_When asked why they can not watch a certain movie or listen to a certain song, my response is typically....."God has told us to guard our hearts, and minds." (We feel it is very important to help children learn what is going to be harmful to them. We have taught our children to turn away when something we are not expecting comes on the TV or is part of a movie. Their innocence and purity can be lost with just one vivid picture. This is becoming increasingly difficult, but as we continue to discuss media that harms our spirit, they continually grow stronger and make wise decisions for themselves.
-When our children say something like..."I'm starving." We will respond with "no you're not, your name is _________; I remember I was there when we named you." Our preschool age son will then say "my tummy is starving." (makes me smile) There are two things here we would like our kiddos to learn. First is simply to ask, "may I please have something to eat?" But, more importantly we point out that our children have never been starving. They have never gone more than a few hours without food. There are children in this world that truly are starving. There are children/people in this world that are eating rocks because they just desire to have something in their stomachs. We are asking our children to be grateful for the food they have and to remember that they are richly blessed, even when they are feeling hungry.
I hope these words bless and encourage you in some way. I know that I have a lot to learn, and that this journey of parenting is long. Thank you so much for walking it with me. I would love to hear some phrases or responses you use in your family that help encourage your family in their faith!
Monday, May 27, 2013
Today We Remember
Today in America it is Memorial Day. A day set aside for us to remember our soldiers, the hard work and sacrifice they have given to our country. There are streets lined with flags, parades led by bands, ceremonies at cemeteries and many types of events to help us remember. However, if you asked people their favorite part of Memorial Day, I would guess they would say the great sales at stores or the great cook outs with the family or that it is truly the first weekend of summer or that their neighborhood pool opens or a variety of other fun things that have nothing to do with remembering. I am resolved that our family will remember.
Now I like a cook out with family as much as the other guy, and we typically use this long weekend to clean the house, but we will also be taking time to remember. I hope that you will join me and take a few moments to help your family learn more about those who protect you and your country everyday. Maybe your town doesn't have a celebration or maybe by the time you read this, it is too late. Let me encourage you to think of a veteran in you family or look up some of their stories on the internet. Depending on the age of your child, talk to them about the amazing sacrifice these young men and women have made. Take a moment and pray for all of our current soldiers or make them some thank you cards (these cards can either be mailed to support services, or taken to your local VFW).
I know that there are many countries where there are soldiers who are not bringing honor to their country or their family. This is really hard for me to believe. I pray against the evil in these countries and that peace will be restored to it's people. May God give strength to those who are defending the weak and bringing liberty to those who seek it.
God Bless you and your family on this Memorial Day.....and, God Bless those who are giving up their freedoms to defend ours!
Now I like a cook out with family as much as the other guy, and we typically use this long weekend to clean the house, but we will also be taking time to remember. I hope that you will join me and take a few moments to help your family learn more about those who protect you and your country everyday. Maybe your town doesn't have a celebration or maybe by the time you read this, it is too late. Let me encourage you to think of a veteran in you family or look up some of their stories on the internet. Depending on the age of your child, talk to them about the amazing sacrifice these young men and women have made. Take a moment and pray for all of our current soldiers or make them some thank you cards (these cards can either be mailed to support services, or taken to your local VFW).
I know that there are many countries where there are soldiers who are not bringing honor to their country or their family. This is really hard for me to believe. I pray against the evil in these countries and that peace will be restored to it's people. May God give strength to those who are defending the weak and bringing liberty to those who seek it.
God Bless you and your family on this Memorial Day.....and, God Bless those who are giving up their freedoms to defend ours!
Friday, May 24, 2013
God In Our Everyday
People ask me questions all the time, I think it is because I am so open and willing to share pretty much anything.....it is certainly not because I have all the answers. I am just like them, walking this crazy road of parenting and doing my best not to stumble off the path God has laid before me. Most question can be answered with one or two sentences and a practical example. However, the other day a mom of two small children asked, "how do you work God into your everyday?" This is not an easy answer and can be done in thousands of ways....if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them. This question got me thinking and therefore, the next few posts will be practical little things we do to allow God to be seen in our everyday.
We do most of the obvious things people would think of: we pray, memorize verses, and have family devotions. Our prayers look different each day...besides prayers at meal times, we encourage each other to pray: before big events; when we feel anxious or concerned; when we hear fire or ambulance sirens; when we see tragic things on the news; when we have devotions; when we are sick; when we are "fighting" with friends; and especially when we are seeking God's best plan for our future (jobs, spouses, dreams). We memorize verses, but not everyday. We probably work an one or two verses a month as a family, they memorize a few more at church each month. I find these verses when I am doing my daily devotions, if it looks like a verse my children need to know, I write it down and the next time a situation occurs, we memorize the verse (usually making up motions to the words so it is easier to remember). I am sad to say that we do not have family devotions everyday. I would love to, and I think they are great! However, we do have family devotions, we have devotion books for each person in the home, and our children see us doing personal devotions and attending Bible study. We also do something known as "highs and lows." Some days we simply talk about our day by asking for everyone's "high" (the best part of their day) and everyone's "low" (the worst part of their day). Although this is not a formal devotion time, it is a wonderful time of sharing and a time when we can take an event that happened in their day and show them how God is working throughout their days.
I have talked about this before, but one of the most influential things we do is serve. Our family goal is to complete a service project every month. We are currently serving our church every week, but that has now become part of our family DNA, so we again are looking at monthly service projects. These can be large or small, but it is important to include everyone and to do a variety of things so no one looses interest. I have several suggestions listed on the "Let's Serve Together" page of this blog. We have been serving monthly for so long, that our children have grown to believe that this is just how you do things. You serve others, plain and simple. I can not stress enough how vital serving is to our family dynamic, I truly believe it is the most influential thing we do.
The final thing I am going to mention today is knowing your goal. We decided along time ago, that the top goal for our children was saving faith in Jesus Christ. Our children's salvation is more important than anything else. It is more important than their education, more important than how they play in the game, more important than any other goal society puts in front of us. When making decisions this goal is first in our minds. (I am not in anyway saying that education and other things aren't important, they are, and we desire for our children to do their best no matter what they do!)
I hope this series of posts bless you and your family. Our family is in no way perfect, and we make lots of mistakes, but we love the Lord and are doing our best each day to bring Him glory!
We do most of the obvious things people would think of: we pray, memorize verses, and have family devotions. Our prayers look different each day...besides prayers at meal times, we encourage each other to pray: before big events; when we feel anxious or concerned; when we hear fire or ambulance sirens; when we see tragic things on the news; when we have devotions; when we are sick; when we are "fighting" with friends; and especially when we are seeking God's best plan for our future (jobs, spouses, dreams). We memorize verses, but not everyday. We probably work an one or two verses a month as a family, they memorize a few more at church each month. I find these verses when I am doing my daily devotions, if it looks like a verse my children need to know, I write it down and the next time a situation occurs, we memorize the verse (usually making up motions to the words so it is easier to remember). I am sad to say that we do not have family devotions everyday. I would love to, and I think they are great! However, we do have family devotions, we have devotion books for each person in the home, and our children see us doing personal devotions and attending Bible study. We also do something known as "highs and lows." Some days we simply talk about our day by asking for everyone's "high" (the best part of their day) and everyone's "low" (the worst part of their day). Although this is not a formal devotion time, it is a wonderful time of sharing and a time when we can take an event that happened in their day and show them how God is working throughout their days.
I have talked about this before, but one of the most influential things we do is serve. Our family goal is to complete a service project every month. We are currently serving our church every week, but that has now become part of our family DNA, so we again are looking at monthly service projects. These can be large or small, but it is important to include everyone and to do a variety of things so no one looses interest. I have several suggestions listed on the "Let's Serve Together" page of this blog. We have been serving monthly for so long, that our children have grown to believe that this is just how you do things. You serve others, plain and simple. I can not stress enough how vital serving is to our family dynamic, I truly believe it is the most influential thing we do.
The final thing I am going to mention today is knowing your goal. We decided along time ago, that the top goal for our children was saving faith in Jesus Christ. Our children's salvation is more important than anything else. It is more important than their education, more important than how they play in the game, more important than any other goal society puts in front of us. When making decisions this goal is first in our minds. (I am not in anyway saying that education and other things aren't important, they are, and we desire for our children to do their best no matter what they do!)
I hope this series of posts bless you and your family. Our family is in no way perfect, and we make lots of mistakes, but we love the Lord and are doing our best each day to bring Him glory!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
What Is Love?
It seems to me that lots of people these days are talking about love. There are those who seem to be excusing their choices because "they love each other." Then there are those who think that showing love means making sure that everyone has the same amount/chances/choices/etc. I have heard people talk about love as it is a gift to be used for bribery or manipulation. There also seem to be a number of churches that have stopped preaching the law and are only preaching about Christ's love and acceptance of us all. LOVE seems to be the buzz word these days.
When I use the online concordance to look at the word "love" in the Bible, it tells me that there are 686 entries that use the word LOVE. That is a lot of love! There are verses about the love God has for you, the love between a man and his wife, the love between family members and much more. However, I didn't see in any of those verses where we can excuse our actions because of love or where love equals equality or where it is suggested that using love for manipulation is a good idea. Most of the examples of love I see are of sacrificial and sustaining love.
We love our children! But, what is love? Well, here a some practical applications of what I feel love is. -Love is allowing your child to try something new, like jumping off the third step; however, it is also not allowing them to jump from the top of the entire flight of stairs.
-Love is allowing your child to work out their problems; however, it is also giving them advice and guiding them along the way.
-Love is allowing your child to face the consequences of their choices; however, it is also forgiving them and helping them to move past their mistakes.
-Love is setting boundaries for your child that will keep them safe; however, it is also expanding the boundaries as they grow and can handle more responsibility.
-Love is providing your child with the things they NEED; however it is also not giving them all the things they WANT.
-Love is not getting something YOU want to provide something for your child; however it is also helping your child understand that sometimes they can't have something THEY want to provide something for someone else.
I am truly struggling with how I am seeing LOVE portrayed in the world today. How can a kidnapper say he tied someone up for ten years because he loves them? How can a parent expose children to violence, sex and drugs and then stand in court and say they need to keep their children because they love them? How can so many justify the killing of one because they love the other?
In my opinion, we have lost sight of what love is. We as a people seem to have manipulated love and have turned it into whatever works well for us. I pray that as we continue to raise our children that God will bless us with the wisdom to show them how to truly love....sacrificial and sustaining love!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
What If It Is Today?
What if today is the day when you and your child will no longer be together? What if today is the day when one of you will pass from this earth? What if today is your last chance to tell them what you really want to say? What if it is today?
The past few days have seen many tornadoes and dangerous storms travel across the central part of the US, the devastation has been great and wide spread. My heart is breaking for those that have lost their homes, but especially for those who have lost loved ones. The scenes from the collapsed elementary school are truly horrifying to me. To know that children were trapped somewhere under those cars and debris.....it is hard to imagine being a parent who sent their child to school in the morning and in the afternoon when they come to pick them up, they find a pile of rubble instead of a school. Harder yet to imagine, not being able to find your child in that rubble or being told that your child has died. How do you even continue to breathe? I know it would be difficult for me to desire to continue to live without my children. My prayers are certainly with them!
So, I have been thinking..... It doesn't take a storm to bring devastation, parents and children are separated each and everyday. Each day there are car crashes that take lives, there are illnesses that defeat us, and there are freak accidents that end in sadness. We have no idea if this will be the last day that we get to spend with our child. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
I hugged my children a little tighter last night when I sent them to bed. But then I thought about what I would want to say or do if I knew today was our last day on earth together. First, I would want to be certain that they knew Jesus as their Savior. Then, I would want to spend the day telling them I love them and doing things that would make great memories for us both. We talk about making memories all the time....cooking together, on bike rides, when making craft projects and when going on fun adventures. Memories are something we can hold tight to when our loved ones are gone. What would you want to do?
Although our days are often hurried and filled with many daily tasks, let us not forget to cherish each other everyday. Let me encourage you to end each day with hugs and love, try not to let the last thing we say to anyone be said in anger, but treat each moment as if it could be our last. Let us take the time to tell others about Christ and love each other like there is no tomorrow. I pray that you and your family will get thousands of more days together to make memories, but let me challenge you to live as if today is your last day!
The past few days have seen many tornadoes and dangerous storms travel across the central part of the US, the devastation has been great and wide spread. My heart is breaking for those that have lost their homes, but especially for those who have lost loved ones. The scenes from the collapsed elementary school are truly horrifying to me. To know that children were trapped somewhere under those cars and debris.....it is hard to imagine being a parent who sent their child to school in the morning and in the afternoon when they come to pick them up, they find a pile of rubble instead of a school. Harder yet to imagine, not being able to find your child in that rubble or being told that your child has died. How do you even continue to breathe? I know it would be difficult for me to desire to continue to live without my children. My prayers are certainly with them!
So, I have been thinking..... It doesn't take a storm to bring devastation, parents and children are separated each and everyday. Each day there are car crashes that take lives, there are illnesses that defeat us, and there are freak accidents that end in sadness. We have no idea if this will be the last day that we get to spend with our child. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
I hugged my children a little tighter last night when I sent them to bed. But then I thought about what I would want to say or do if I knew today was our last day on earth together. First, I would want to be certain that they knew Jesus as their Savior. Then, I would want to spend the day telling them I love them and doing things that would make great memories for us both. We talk about making memories all the time....cooking together, on bike rides, when making craft projects and when going on fun adventures. Memories are something we can hold tight to when our loved ones are gone. What would you want to do?
Although our days are often hurried and filled with many daily tasks, let us not forget to cherish each other everyday. Let me encourage you to end each day with hugs and love, try not to let the last thing we say to anyone be said in anger, but treat each moment as if it could be our last. Let us take the time to tell others about Christ and love each other like there is no tomorrow. I pray that you and your family will get thousands of more days together to make memories, but let me challenge you to live as if today is your last day!
Monday, May 20, 2013
Free Will
One of the most challenging aspects of raising Godly children, in my opinion, is that they have free will. Free will is a frustrating element to me and my "I am the Mom" lifestyle. Our children are truly free to decide if they want to listen to my words or not, if they want to listen to their friends words or not, and if they want to listen to God's words or not. There are many times when I wish that their free will was gone and they would just do what I say 100% of the time.
Imagine though, if their free will was gone. They would truly stop being individual, unique children and become something like a robot. They wouldn't be able to think for themselves, wouldn't have the ability to make any choices without my assistance and would only love me because I tell them they should. There may be moments where this sounds like a good idea, but I know that a life like this would not be fulfilling in anyway and I would wish it gone as fast as it came.
I have often wondered why God would create us with Free Will, knowing that many of us would reject Him and go our own way. But, as we have had children of our own, I have answered my own question. I have found that a hug is much stronger when given voluntarily, an "I love you" means much more when said spontaneously, and a child cuddling on my lab is much sweeter when they initiate the exchange. The desire my children have to share their lives with me, fills my days with joy.
I am sure that our Heavenly Father feels much the same way. He longs for us to come to Him voluntarily and He desires for us to want to share our lives with Him. He sees us, He knows what we are up to.....but just like you enjoy talking to your child after one of their activities (even though you were watching the entire time), God loves when you talk to Him about your days. He is a loving father who wants to have a personal relationship with each of us, a relationship that is a part of our everyday and one that is continually growing stronger.
I love our children deeply and am extremely glad when they choose to include me in their lives. I hope ours is a relationship that is also part of our everyday and growing stronger all the time. I pray that God will help me to remember that just as we have free will to reject God, our children do also. Truly all we can do is show them God's amazing love and pray that they wholeheartedly jump into Jesus' loving arms. Now that sentence includes a million little things we can do to influence our children, but ultimately it is their choice.
Imagine though, if their free will was gone. They would truly stop being individual, unique children and become something like a robot. They wouldn't be able to think for themselves, wouldn't have the ability to make any choices without my assistance and would only love me because I tell them they should. There may be moments where this sounds like a good idea, but I know that a life like this would not be fulfilling in anyway and I would wish it gone as fast as it came.
I have often wondered why God would create us with Free Will, knowing that many of us would reject Him and go our own way. But, as we have had children of our own, I have answered my own question. I have found that a hug is much stronger when given voluntarily, an "I love you" means much more when said spontaneously, and a child cuddling on my lab is much sweeter when they initiate the exchange. The desire my children have to share their lives with me, fills my days with joy.
I am sure that our Heavenly Father feels much the same way. He longs for us to come to Him voluntarily and He desires for us to want to share our lives with Him. He sees us, He knows what we are up to.....but just like you enjoy talking to your child after one of their activities (even though you were watching the entire time), God loves when you talk to Him about your days. He is a loving father who wants to have a personal relationship with each of us, a relationship that is a part of our everyday and one that is continually growing stronger.
I love our children deeply and am extremely glad when they choose to include me in their lives. I hope ours is a relationship that is also part of our everyday and growing stronger all the time. I pray that God will help me to remember that just as we have free will to reject God, our children do also. Truly all we can do is show them God's amazing love and pray that they wholeheartedly jump into Jesus' loving arms. Now that sentence includes a million little things we can do to influence our children, but ultimately it is their choice.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Proverbs 17:6
"Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children." Proverbs 17:6
I have been looking at this verse and I see two different thoughts here. First, that grandchildren are a crown. I am not yet a grandma, but I can tell by watching grandparents interact with their grandchildren that this is most certainly true. Nothing lights up a room faster than a young one playing with their grandparent. Not only is it a crown for the grandparent, but the joy from the situation brings a smile to everyone who sees them.
As for me, I have said numerous times that my hope is to never have an "empty nest." My heart longs to be surrounded by the joy and blessing of children for the rest of my days (my own children, children of friends and neighbors, grandchildren, all children that God puts in my path). My husband and I truly believe that children are a blessing and we have lived our lives accordingly. It breaks my heart when I hear others talking about not wanting children. I hear things like, "I just don't have time for kids" or "I'm not changing diapers in my 40's, I deserve this time for myself." My first reaction is to think, "well at least they know their limitations." But, then my heartbreaks, because they are not allowing the full promises God has for them to be fulfilled. Somewhere along the way our society lost sight of the fact that children are a blessing from our Heavenly Father.
The second thought is that parents are the pride of their children. Wow, that one seems a bit more challenging to me. My children are to be proud of me. This makes me wonder "how," how am I to conduct myself that would make my children proud of me? What does it mean for my children to be proud of me? Should this be a goal, or just a wonderful bi-product of living a life for the Kingdom?
I am not sure I know the answers to those questions, but here are some thoughts on how I think I might live in a way that my children might be proud of me.
-love and honor their father
-don't lie to them or others for that matter
-respect their feelings and opinions, gently showing them if there needs to be correction
-putting my relationship with Christ first
-remember that life is short and meant to be filled with joy and laughter
-not posting things on social media that would truly embarrass them
-living how I would expect them to live
This is quite a list and far too hard without the help of the Holy Spirit working in my life. I am not sure how I am doing on this list, or if I shouldn't add a few more suggestions. However this is something that I am conscious of now and something I can be working on in the years to come. Right now, I will just be content to spend time with my children and their friends as we live life together....praying that one day by God's mercy they will be proud of me as their mother.
I have been looking at this verse and I see two different thoughts here. First, that grandchildren are a crown. I am not yet a grandma, but I can tell by watching grandparents interact with their grandchildren that this is most certainly true. Nothing lights up a room faster than a young one playing with their grandparent. Not only is it a crown for the grandparent, but the joy from the situation brings a smile to everyone who sees them.
As for me, I have said numerous times that my hope is to never have an "empty nest." My heart longs to be surrounded by the joy and blessing of children for the rest of my days (my own children, children of friends and neighbors, grandchildren, all children that God puts in my path). My husband and I truly believe that children are a blessing and we have lived our lives accordingly. It breaks my heart when I hear others talking about not wanting children. I hear things like, "I just don't have time for kids" or "I'm not changing diapers in my 40's, I deserve this time for myself." My first reaction is to think, "well at least they know their limitations." But, then my heartbreaks, because they are not allowing the full promises God has for them to be fulfilled. Somewhere along the way our society lost sight of the fact that children are a blessing from our Heavenly Father.
The second thought is that parents are the pride of their children. Wow, that one seems a bit more challenging to me. My children are to be proud of me. This makes me wonder "how," how am I to conduct myself that would make my children proud of me? What does it mean for my children to be proud of me? Should this be a goal, or just a wonderful bi-product of living a life for the Kingdom?
I am not sure I know the answers to those questions, but here are some thoughts on how I think I might live in a way that my children might be proud of me.
-love and honor their father
-don't lie to them or others for that matter
-respect their feelings and opinions, gently showing them if there needs to be correction
-putting my relationship with Christ first
-remember that life is short and meant to be filled with joy and laughter
-not posting things on social media that would truly embarrass them
-living how I would expect them to live
This is quite a list and far too hard without the help of the Holy Spirit working in my life. I am not sure how I am doing on this list, or if I shouldn't add a few more suggestions. However this is something that I am conscious of now and something I can be working on in the years to come. Right now, I will just be content to spend time with my children and their friends as we live life together....praying that one day by God's mercy they will be proud of me as their mother.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Thankfulness
Everyday it seems that people are posting pictures and phrases on social media sites. Some of them I simply skim past, others I read and smile, yet others really make me think. This is a phrase from a post that I read recently, and it has really made me think. "What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?"
Wow, what if? What if you only had what you thanked God for? Would your world look much different today then it did yesterday? I know there are many days where life consumes me and I am not as thankful as I should be. I rush through my prayers and neglect to thank God for His amazing generosity in our life. Even in our most challenging times we are blessed and it is important for me to remember that everyday.
Living in America it is easy to get consumed by all the STUFF we have, see and want. Americans typically have way too much stuff. Our family is no different, we may not have as much as some, but we still have too much stuff. This is very evident whenever we go on mission trips or watch TV shows about other countries. But, do we know what is truly important?
When I think about my prayers and what I thank God for, I can say that I have rarely prayed for all of our stuff. If I do pray for our "stuff," it will usually be "Father, please help us to be a good steward of all you have blessed us with." I have never gone through the house item by item and said thank you for this or that. Honestly, if I did pray for each item in our home, I would wonder if I had become distracted by all the consumerism in our society.
There are some things though that I know that I thank God for consistently. I am thankful for my husband, for the relationship that God has blessed us with and for his job that provides for our family. I am thankful for our children, for the joy they bring to our home, for the many gifts they have and for the abundant blessings they provide to those around them. I am also thankful for the home that God has given us, I feel truly blessed to be living here, it fits our family so wonderfully.
Well, that is about it, basically three things that I am thankful for everyday. These are truly the most important things to me and if I awoke with only those things, it would be quite a change, but I would still be blessed.
What about you? What would you thank God for today? What are the most important things you are thankful for? Let us take a moment each day and tell God how truly thankful we are for all He provides!
Wow, what if? What if you only had what you thanked God for? Would your world look much different today then it did yesterday? I know there are many days where life consumes me and I am not as thankful as I should be. I rush through my prayers and neglect to thank God for His amazing generosity in our life. Even in our most challenging times we are blessed and it is important for me to remember that everyday.
Living in America it is easy to get consumed by all the STUFF we have, see and want. Americans typically have way too much stuff. Our family is no different, we may not have as much as some, but we still have too much stuff. This is very evident whenever we go on mission trips or watch TV shows about other countries. But, do we know what is truly important?
When I think about my prayers and what I thank God for, I can say that I have rarely prayed for all of our stuff. If I do pray for our "stuff," it will usually be "Father, please help us to be a good steward of all you have blessed us with." I have never gone through the house item by item and said thank you for this or that. Honestly, if I did pray for each item in our home, I would wonder if I had become distracted by all the consumerism in our society.
There are some things though that I know that I thank God for consistently. I am thankful for my husband, for the relationship that God has blessed us with and for his job that provides for our family. I am thankful for our children, for the joy they bring to our home, for the many gifts they have and for the abundant blessings they provide to those around them. I am also thankful for the home that God has given us, I feel truly blessed to be living here, it fits our family so wonderfully.
Well, that is about it, basically three things that I am thankful for everyday. These are truly the most important things to me and if I awoke with only those things, it would be quite a change, but I would still be blessed.
What about you? What would you thank God for today? What are the most important things you are thankful for? Let us take a moment each day and tell God how truly thankful we are for all He provides!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Fruit that Blesses
This past Mother's Day in our church, the children did the majority of the tasks in the service. They greeted guests at the doors, passed out bulletins, read the prayers, led the responsive reading and were responsible for all of the music. I was amazed at how talented they all are, what a great bunch of kids we have at the church. Our children participated like many others, and at the end of the service a member came to me and told me how much he was blessed by the children. As I thought about it, I was blessed too. There was just something about what the children did that melted the deep places of my heart and blessed me. It was their Fruit.
To me, the music was the most impactful. There was a lot of great music, including a young lady who did a violin solo, and groups of young ladies singing anthems. But, my favorite part of the service was the ending, it finished with a four year old boy singing and playing his guitar with his dad. The joy that little boy had on his face filled the room and truly transformed the space. It was certainly good fruit.
I was looking through the scriptures recently and using the concordance to search out verses that talk about Fruit as something a person does. I typically use the NIV and I found almost 50 different verses where our actions are referred to as fruit. Some verses warned about the choices we make and the bad fruit that will develop, others talked about fruit that blesses and other verses mentioned our ability to know someone's faith by the fruit they produce. I had no idea that there were so many, that is almost one for every week of the year.
Part of our desire with Raising an Orchard is to raise children that bear fruit for the Kingdom of Christ. This is a difficult task, as you can't make someone bear fruit, you can only influence them. We work hard to provide our children with opportunities to share the gifts God has blessed them with, however, you never know if they will use them. I am thankful that our church is also giving the children a place to share their gifts. It is the fruit we bear that helps draw others to Christ and His amazing love. I pray that your children and our children will continue to grow and bear fruit that blesses!
To me, the music was the most impactful. There was a lot of great music, including a young lady who did a violin solo, and groups of young ladies singing anthems. But, my favorite part of the service was the ending, it finished with a four year old boy singing and playing his guitar with his dad. The joy that little boy had on his face filled the room and truly transformed the space. It was certainly good fruit.
I was looking through the scriptures recently and using the concordance to search out verses that talk about Fruit as something a person does. I typically use the NIV and I found almost 50 different verses where our actions are referred to as fruit. Some verses warned about the choices we make and the bad fruit that will develop, others talked about fruit that blesses and other verses mentioned our ability to know someone's faith by the fruit they produce. I had no idea that there were so many, that is almost one for every week of the year.
Part of our desire with Raising an Orchard is to raise children that bear fruit for the Kingdom of Christ. This is a difficult task, as you can't make someone bear fruit, you can only influence them. We work hard to provide our children with opportunities to share the gifts God has blessed them with, however, you never know if they will use them. I am thankful that our church is also giving the children a place to share their gifts. It is the fruit we bear that helps draw others to Christ and His amazing love. I pray that your children and our children will continue to grow and bear fruit that blesses!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Like Needing Air
Yesterday was Mother's Day. A wonderful day set aside to honor the person who gave us life and also for us moms to be honored by those God has given us as children. I had a wonderful day and I hope that you are able to say the same. However, I was reminded this weekend of those who feel pain on Mother's Day instead of joy. My heart breaks for these situations.
There is the wife who for years has been faithfully praying and longing for a child to call her "mom." Many years of medical interventions and miscarriages, yet still her deepest desire has not been fulfilled. When asked about the situation, she exclaimed "my personal need for a child is like needing air. I think about it with every breath I take."
What about the friend whom had her second child a few months ago, the mom of two beautiful girls. It should be a joy filled day with this new blessing, however it is a day filled with reminders of what was. You see, her husband filed for divorce while she was pregnant. This is her first Mother's Day as a single mom. When asked all she could say was, "being divorced on Mother's Day sucks!"
Then there is my niece and nephew who spent the day without their mother. She has been "taken" and was incarcerated a few weeks ago. They don't even get to talk to her. They are stuck in the foster system until we can get them to another family member. They may never spend another Mother's Day with her. It is truly best for them to be in a different home, but that doesn't make it hurt any less!
I can only imagine the countless other stories.....those that lost their Mother since last mother's day; those that have lost their children; those who can't talk to their children because they are serving our country; those who are dealing with a horrible sickness and haven't even noticed that it was Mother's Day.
Sorry to be such a bummer today! Let us encourage one another in two ways this week. First, let us be praying for those that are hurting and maybe even send them a note or bless them in some small way. Second, let us remember how truly blessed we are. I remember longing for our first child, it was a nearly 5 year journey, and because of that journey I know how blessed we are to have these amazing children. The need I have to hug, touch, talk to and interact with my children each day is truly like needing air. I can not even imagine our life without them!
There is the wife who for years has been faithfully praying and longing for a child to call her "mom." Many years of medical interventions and miscarriages, yet still her deepest desire has not been fulfilled. When asked about the situation, she exclaimed "my personal need for a child is like needing air. I think about it with every breath I take."
What about the friend whom had her second child a few months ago, the mom of two beautiful girls. It should be a joy filled day with this new blessing, however it is a day filled with reminders of what was. You see, her husband filed for divorce while she was pregnant. This is her first Mother's Day as a single mom. When asked all she could say was, "being divorced on Mother's Day sucks!"
Then there is my niece and nephew who spent the day without their mother. She has been "taken" and was incarcerated a few weeks ago. They don't even get to talk to her. They are stuck in the foster system until we can get them to another family member. They may never spend another Mother's Day with her. It is truly best for them to be in a different home, but that doesn't make it hurt any less!
I can only imagine the countless other stories.....those that lost their Mother since last mother's day; those that have lost their children; those who can't talk to their children because they are serving our country; those who are dealing with a horrible sickness and haven't even noticed that it was Mother's Day.
Sorry to be such a bummer today! Let us encourage one another in two ways this week. First, let us be praying for those that are hurting and maybe even send them a note or bless them in some small way. Second, let us remember how truly blessed we are. I remember longing for our first child, it was a nearly 5 year journey, and because of that journey I know how blessed we are to have these amazing children. The need I have to hug, touch, talk to and interact with my children each day is truly like needing air. I can not even imagine our life without them!
Friday, May 10, 2013
There Is A Person Behind The Mask
Many of us had a childhood that can be described as challenging or difficult, and had stuff we needed to work through when growing up. I know that when I was in middle school I created this intricate mask to protect myself and not show my "true" self to those around me. I assume that many of you did the same. So then, why am I so surprised when I discover that others are wearing "masks" today?
This week I read part of a blog from a teen that I have known from church. This teen appears to me to be your everyday teen....comes from a good family....does well in school....participates in extracurriculars.....knows Christ as her Savior....truly someone I would have considered for my own children to look up to. I was shocked to read that even she has felt the need to wear a mask. Really? She hasn't face any of the challenges I faced as a child, why would she need a mask? (I know, a bit judgmental of me, wouldn't you say!)
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it seems to me that almost everyone is wearing a mask of some sort. Almost everyone I know feels like they need to be something different....smarter, skinnier, prettier, faster, stronger, happier..... Interesting. If we ALL feel like we need to be something different, who is the one pressuring us ALL to feel that way? Who is telling ALL of us that we are not good enough?
I am certainly no expert, however it would seem reasonable to me to assume this is truly the work of Satan. Why else would this be such a common thread throughout our civilization? Satan is making us feel less than the valuable child of God we truly are. He is using lies, the media and circumstances around us to make us feel like we are safer, more acceptable and better WHEN we are wearing a mask, when we are being something we are truly not. How sad!
1 Peter 2:9 tells us that we are "a chosen people" and "God's special possessions." I have read the Bible several times and don't remember reading anything about us needing to wear a mask or needing to be anything different than what God called us to be.
Here is my challenge to all of us (especially me).....let's all take some time to get to know the person behind the mask. We need to be conscious of our words and glances, don't let our actions tell others they need to keep those masks on. We need to be willing to take our masks off and encourage others to allow their masks to come down. However, the most important thing I think we need to do right now, is teach our children that they don't need their masks. They are precious gifts from God and He has created them for a purpose and I don't believe that includes wearing a mask.
There is a person behind every mask....lets get to know them and allow the love of Christ to shine through even the deepest masks!
This week I read part of a blog from a teen that I have known from church. This teen appears to me to be your everyday teen....comes from a good family....does well in school....participates in extracurriculars.....knows Christ as her Savior....truly someone I would have considered for my own children to look up to. I was shocked to read that even she has felt the need to wear a mask. Really? She hasn't face any of the challenges I faced as a child, why would she need a mask? (I know, a bit judgmental of me, wouldn't you say!)
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it seems to me that almost everyone is wearing a mask of some sort. Almost everyone I know feels like they need to be something different....smarter, skinnier, prettier, faster, stronger, happier..... Interesting. If we ALL feel like we need to be something different, who is the one pressuring us ALL to feel that way? Who is telling ALL of us that we are not good enough?
I am certainly no expert, however it would seem reasonable to me to assume this is truly the work of Satan. Why else would this be such a common thread throughout our civilization? Satan is making us feel less than the valuable child of God we truly are. He is using lies, the media and circumstances around us to make us feel like we are safer, more acceptable and better WHEN we are wearing a mask, when we are being something we are truly not. How sad!
1 Peter 2:9 tells us that we are "a chosen people" and "God's special possessions." I have read the Bible several times and don't remember reading anything about us needing to wear a mask or needing to be anything different than what God called us to be.
Here is my challenge to all of us (especially me).....let's all take some time to get to know the person behind the mask. We need to be conscious of our words and glances, don't let our actions tell others they need to keep those masks on. We need to be willing to take our masks off and encourage others to allow their masks to come down. However, the most important thing I think we need to do right now, is teach our children that they don't need their masks. They are precious gifts from God and He has created them for a purpose and I don't believe that includes wearing a mask.
There is a person behind every mask....lets get to know them and allow the love of Christ to shine through even the deepest masks!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Praying They Are Caught
I have been blessed to interact with many wonderful parents. I truly enjoy seeing others interact with their children, especially their adult children. The relationship of a parent and child changes so much from birth to birth of grandchildren, it simply amazes me. Often when I see a family that looks like they have weathered the seasons of parenting with grace and wisdom, I will ask them for one or two pieces of advice they could give to other parents. Many times they are so humbled by the parenting journey that they have very little to say. However, the one or two things they do say are often true gems for me to hold on to.
One such gem I have been given is to "pray that my children are caught when they do something wrong." This advice really confused me at first. Why would I pray for my child to get in trouble? Shouldn't I be praying for their safety and protection? Shouldn't I be training them to never do something wrong, why would they need to be caught? Why would these parents pray for their children to be caught when they misbehave?
As my children grew older, and as they began to out number me, I saw the value in this bit of advice. When our children are caught misbehaving, we are given a chance to teach them and correct their behavior. The more opportunity we have to teach and train, the better our children will be at making wise and informed choices as they get older. Being able to work through numerous situations with our children can also provide us with some peace of mind when they are away from us. We know that there are few situations that our children can face that we haven't already worked through with them.
There is an additional benefit to this prayer. It seems to me that I often have a strong sense of my child(ren) misbehaving. You know, the whole "eyes in the back of her head" thing. I am truly blessed to have caught my children often enough that they know I can see them, even if they can't see me. They have asked several times how I knew what they were up to...I simply tell them that "God gives moms special senses to know when their precious gifts need their help."
I can honestly tell you that I hate this prayer as much as I like it. It breaks my heart to know that my children struggle with misbehavior and poor choices. I would much rather go through my days believing that my children always make great choices, never hit, never use bad words and always show God's love. For that matter, I would love to believe that I would always make great choices and always show God's love, but at last we live in a fallen world. We live in a world that is fighting each day to steal my child's heart, my prayer for them to be caught just gives me a chance to help keep their heart right where it belongs.....in line with God's word.
May God bless you as you teach your precious gifts to make the best choice in all situations and give you the strength to pray that they are caught!
One such gem I have been given is to "pray that my children are caught when they do something wrong." This advice really confused me at first. Why would I pray for my child to get in trouble? Shouldn't I be praying for their safety and protection? Shouldn't I be training them to never do something wrong, why would they need to be caught? Why would these parents pray for their children to be caught when they misbehave?
As my children grew older, and as they began to out number me, I saw the value in this bit of advice. When our children are caught misbehaving, we are given a chance to teach them and correct their behavior. The more opportunity we have to teach and train, the better our children will be at making wise and informed choices as they get older. Being able to work through numerous situations with our children can also provide us with some peace of mind when they are away from us. We know that there are few situations that our children can face that we haven't already worked through with them.
There is an additional benefit to this prayer. It seems to me that I often have a strong sense of my child(ren) misbehaving. You know, the whole "eyes in the back of her head" thing. I am truly blessed to have caught my children often enough that they know I can see them, even if they can't see me. They have asked several times how I knew what they were up to...I simply tell them that "God gives moms special senses to know when their precious gifts need their help."
I can honestly tell you that I hate this prayer as much as I like it. It breaks my heart to know that my children struggle with misbehavior and poor choices. I would much rather go through my days believing that my children always make great choices, never hit, never use bad words and always show God's love. For that matter, I would love to believe that I would always make great choices and always show God's love, but at last we live in a fallen world. We live in a world that is fighting each day to steal my child's heart, my prayer for them to be caught just gives me a chance to help keep their heart right where it belongs.....in line with God's word.
May God bless you as you teach your precious gifts to make the best choice in all situations and give you the strength to pray that they are caught!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Mud Puddles
The other night in Bible study we were talking about the decline in the Israelite nation at the time of Jezebel. The details are just amazing and unbelievably sad. It is difficult to comprehend the tremendous amount of evil that people participated in. As the discussion continued we began to see many parallels between then and now. It doesn't take long to see the unbelievable amount of evil around us everyday. How sad to see what God's marvelous creations have become!
The talk then turned to the trend that seems to be running through many churches in the US today... to share grace and show love, but neglect the need for repentance. It seems that many are desiring to share God's love with the multitudes, but they are not sharing God's law. How is it possible to truly know how much you need Christ if you never display a repentant heart? Why would anyone let Christ transform them if there is nothing wrong with their current choices? (Romans 12:2)
During the discussion, this analogy came to my mind:
Someone living in unforgiven sin appears to me like someone living in a mud puddle. They can live there contently and have been living there for years, probably their entire life. It is true that Christ loves them right where they are. He loves them even though they are covered in mud. He loves them and died for them, just like He died for all of us...no matter where we are.
Here is the part that seems to be missing to me:
Jesus may love you in the mud, but He loves you too much to leave you there. He has clean water available for you over here. His love for you is so great that He desires to take you from the mud and place you in a sparkling clean puddle. His love is transforming and life changing, otherwise, what really is the point?
The group agreed with my analogy, but expressed concern with being labeled as a "hater" or as "intolerant" or "judgmental." We shared the need to get to know people, to build a relationship with them and then out of LOVE to speak the truth. (Ephesians 4:15) When you approach someone with genuine concern and confront their sin, you are doing it because you love them.....not because you are judging them. It is not our spot to judge, but if we truly love someone should we just leave them sinking in the mud?
Think about our children. It is true that there comes a time when our influence on our children is limited and they truly are making their own choices. But, if we have trained them to look carefully at their options we shouldn't fear because we know that they are God's precious children and that He loves them even more than we do. However, if you see your child falling into the mud, are you just going to sit back and watch? Or, are you going to reach out and help them? We all know that we would do our best to speak to our children out of genuine love and concern to help them see how far they are moving from God's will for their life. We wouldn't sit back and watch them live in the mud. Why is it any different with our friends and neighbors?
Let's work hard to grow to a place of genuine love for our neighbor and then with God's abundant love helping us, we can speak the Truth in Love and help them to see their need to get out of the mud. Although we and Christ love them just where they are, we both love them too much to leave them in the mud puddle!
The talk then turned to the trend that seems to be running through many churches in the US today... to share grace and show love, but neglect the need for repentance. It seems that many are desiring to share God's love with the multitudes, but they are not sharing God's law. How is it possible to truly know how much you need Christ if you never display a repentant heart? Why would anyone let Christ transform them if there is nothing wrong with their current choices? (Romans 12:2)
During the discussion, this analogy came to my mind:
Someone living in unforgiven sin appears to me like someone living in a mud puddle. They can live there contently and have been living there for years, probably their entire life. It is true that Christ loves them right where they are. He loves them even though they are covered in mud. He loves them and died for them, just like He died for all of us...no matter where we are.
Here is the part that seems to be missing to me:
Jesus may love you in the mud, but He loves you too much to leave you there. He has clean water available for you over here. His love for you is so great that He desires to take you from the mud and place you in a sparkling clean puddle. His love is transforming and life changing, otherwise, what really is the point?
The group agreed with my analogy, but expressed concern with being labeled as a "hater" or as "intolerant" or "judgmental." We shared the need to get to know people, to build a relationship with them and then out of LOVE to speak the truth. (Ephesians 4:15) When you approach someone with genuine concern and confront their sin, you are doing it because you love them.....not because you are judging them. It is not our spot to judge, but if we truly love someone should we just leave them sinking in the mud?
Think about our children. It is true that there comes a time when our influence on our children is limited and they truly are making their own choices. But, if we have trained them to look carefully at their options we shouldn't fear because we know that they are God's precious children and that He loves them even more than we do. However, if you see your child falling into the mud, are you just going to sit back and watch? Or, are you going to reach out and help them? We all know that we would do our best to speak to our children out of genuine love and concern to help them see how far they are moving from God's will for their life. We wouldn't sit back and watch them live in the mud. Why is it any different with our friends and neighbors?
Let's work hard to grow to a place of genuine love for our neighbor and then with God's abundant love helping us, we can speak the Truth in Love and help them to see their need to get out of the mud. Although we and Christ love them just where they are, we both love them too much to leave them in the mud puddle!
Monday, May 6, 2013
Quick To Listen
I received a notice in the mail the other day informing me of a major change to our health insurance plan which would occur on the exact day that I received the letter. Of course, I didn't open the mail until 4:30 in the afternoon and their office closed at 4:00pm. Needless to say, I was an unhappy camper.
The next day when I called the 800 number on the letter I was able to speak to a very nice lady. She spoke very kindly and calmly with me. However, she really didn't listen to me. Every time I tried to answer a question or give her information, she assumed to know where I was going, would interrupt and start giving me her explanation. It was very frustrating. I felt like she was truly more interested in talking than listening.
In the course of trying to solve what has turned out to be a computer problem, I spoke with two different associates and a supervisor. All of them were kind, but none of them listened. Now, because they assumed to know what I was saying I have an entire packet of papers to file and my case is suspended until these papers are complete.
This situation reminded me of the verses in James 1:19-20...everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry.... These people were certainly not quick to listen or slow to speak. However, how often am I quick to listen and slow to speak? Do I just assume to know what my children are going to say? Or, am I patient enough to listen to what they are really trying to say. Honest answer, I am not waiting for my children to tell me the whole story. I am busy, have many things to do and pretty much know what they are going to say. I am often like the person on the phone, assuming to know what they are going to say and doing my best to move the conversation along. How frustrating it must be for them! What about you?
This week one of my goals is going to be to remember James 1:19-20, and try to listen to my little ones. Listen first, speak second. One day not too long from now I will long for them to tell me about their day and they will be off living lives on their own. These are conversations for me to cherish today and everyday. May God bless us as we cherish this days and have the patience to listen.
The next day when I called the 800 number on the letter I was able to speak to a very nice lady. She spoke very kindly and calmly with me. However, she really didn't listen to me. Every time I tried to answer a question or give her information, she assumed to know where I was going, would interrupt and start giving me her explanation. It was very frustrating. I felt like she was truly more interested in talking than listening.
In the course of trying to solve what has turned out to be a computer problem, I spoke with two different associates and a supervisor. All of them were kind, but none of them listened. Now, because they assumed to know what I was saying I have an entire packet of papers to file and my case is suspended until these papers are complete.
This situation reminded me of the verses in James 1:19-20...everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry.... These people were certainly not quick to listen or slow to speak. However, how often am I quick to listen and slow to speak? Do I just assume to know what my children are going to say? Or, am I patient enough to listen to what they are really trying to say. Honest answer, I am not waiting for my children to tell me the whole story. I am busy, have many things to do and pretty much know what they are going to say. I am often like the person on the phone, assuming to know what they are going to say and doing my best to move the conversation along. How frustrating it must be for them! What about you?
This week one of my goals is going to be to remember James 1:19-20, and try to listen to my little ones. Listen first, speak second. One day not too long from now I will long for them to tell me about their day and they will be off living lives on their own. These are conversations for me to cherish today and everyday. May God bless us as we cherish this days and have the patience to listen.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Destroying Seeds
Last week I took a few post to remember some people whom have influenced my life for the Kingdom of Christ. I hope that they encouraged and challenged you to plant seeds and leave a legacy of your own. This post is a polar opposite post. Planting seeds can be done in many ways and can have amazing results. Destroying the seed is just as easy and the results of such destruction can be even greater. Here are some seed destroying situations I have witnessed or been a part of that I would encourage you to try and avoid.
Labeling: When we become angry or frustrated we often label people. I am unsure what exactly happen before this reaction, but I once witnessed a mother/son scene that went like this..... She looked at her son and with anger in her voice, said "You are a liar. You are nothing but a liar. You will always be a liar. I will never defend you again. You are just a liar." Harsh. However, before we cast judgement, remember we have all been there. Maybe we haven't called our child a liar, but what about lazy, selfish, naughty, a baby or other words that might hurt and destroy seeds.
Ignoring: I am not talking about the type of ignoring that occurs when a child is taking a time-out or when a child is throwing a tantrum and you just choose to ignore them until their behavior changes. There are helpful ways of ignoring. I am talking about the ignoring that happens when everything else is "more important" than your child. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen (including in my own home) a situation where the TV or the smart phone or the computer game or whatever, is placed before the need of a child. Children, like all of us, want to be heard and understood. I love the pause feature on our television, it is extremely easy to pause whatever we are watching and devote our attention to the needs of the child. I would truly enjoy a pause button for all situations, unfortunately there isn't one and I just need to be very conscious of when I am ignoring them.
Over Punishing: At times when our children are completely "driving us crazy" it is easy to over punish. I have seen it many times. "Your behavior was horrible," we say and the punishments begin. We will start with a time-out and/or maybe a spanking and/or loosing a toy and/or not getting to have dessert and/or maybe not going to little Billy's party either. Although I am frustrated beyond my breaking point, I need to remember to use punishments that will help correct the behaviors, not every punishment I can think of. Our children will loose respect for us if our punishments are continually "unfair" and not fitting the situation we are in. There are many times when I need to remind myself that one punishment is enough and I just need to choose the punishment that will be most effective in helping my child learn.
I know that we all love our children very much and we truly only want the best for them. This best includes a loving relationship with Christ. Let's work hard to show our children Christ's love in all situations, especially when we are frustrated and upset. It takes a lot of time and energy to Raise An Orchard, let's be sure not to destroy any seeds along the way.
Labeling: When we become angry or frustrated we often label people. I am unsure what exactly happen before this reaction, but I once witnessed a mother/son scene that went like this..... She looked at her son and with anger in her voice, said "You are a liar. You are nothing but a liar. You will always be a liar. I will never defend you again. You are just a liar." Harsh. However, before we cast judgement, remember we have all been there. Maybe we haven't called our child a liar, but what about lazy, selfish, naughty, a baby or other words that might hurt and destroy seeds.
Ignoring: I am not talking about the type of ignoring that occurs when a child is taking a time-out or when a child is throwing a tantrum and you just choose to ignore them until their behavior changes. There are helpful ways of ignoring. I am talking about the ignoring that happens when everything else is "more important" than your child. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen (including in my own home) a situation where the TV or the smart phone or the computer game or whatever, is placed before the need of a child. Children, like all of us, want to be heard and understood. I love the pause feature on our television, it is extremely easy to pause whatever we are watching and devote our attention to the needs of the child. I would truly enjoy a pause button for all situations, unfortunately there isn't one and I just need to be very conscious of when I am ignoring them.
Over Punishing: At times when our children are completely "driving us crazy" it is easy to over punish. I have seen it many times. "Your behavior was horrible," we say and the punishments begin. We will start with a time-out and/or maybe a spanking and/or loosing a toy and/or not getting to have dessert and/or maybe not going to little Billy's party either. Although I am frustrated beyond my breaking point, I need to remember to use punishments that will help correct the behaviors, not every punishment I can think of. Our children will loose respect for us if our punishments are continually "unfair" and not fitting the situation we are in. There are many times when I need to remind myself that one punishment is enough and I just need to choose the punishment that will be most effective in helping my child learn.
I know that we all love our children very much and we truly only want the best for them. This best includes a loving relationship with Christ. Let's work hard to show our children Christ's love in all situations, especially when we are frustrated and upset. It takes a lot of time and energy to Raise An Orchard, let's be sure not to destroy any seeds along the way.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Getting Back At Others
It seems to me that many people today have forgotten the whole Golden rule concept. You know, "do onto others as you would have done to you." These days I see many more examples of "an eye for an eye." If you watch almost any movie or tv show, you will see people "getting even" with others. Even when we are just our and about, I encounter those desiring to "get back at" someone else. I am amazed at the amount of "payback" I see each day.
Maybe you disagree with me....that's ok! But, here are some examples that I recently encountered:
-take the couple at the restaurant, that weren't happy about anything they ordered..."She has another thing coming if she thinks she is getting a tip from us." Is it really her fault?
-what about the white truck on the way home that is weaving in and out of traffic and then for some reason decides to honk his horn, pull in front of you and slam on his breaks....obviously, something was done to upset him and he decided you deserved to be treated this way.
-then there is the student who is planning their birthday party and since you didn't invite her to your party (even though you didn't have one) she is not even going to consider inviting you to hers.
-watch the young boy on the playground when another child "steals his swing," a swing he left to go down the slide but everyone was suppose to know he was coming right back....watch as he takes his arm and pushes the other child and then states "that's what you get!"
-how about the sports match you are watching? One player hurt or pushed another play, sometimes on accident and what happens next...they get back at him, purposely and it's o.k.
I can find examples each and every day and at all age levels, it is so sad.
In Proverbs 17:13 we read "Evil will never leave the house of one who pays back evil for good." Wow, evil will never leave your home. That explains why it seems some people are always having trouble and always getting involved with strange fighting situations. Romans 12:17 also tells us "Do not repay evil for evil...", we are told several times in scripture that God will defend us and that we need not fight on our own behalf.
Our home is currently having some trouble with "paybacks." Now it is not as extreme as some of the things listed above, but it is still there. One sibling not sharing because the other didn't share yesterday....one not helping another because they didn't receive any help earlier....one calling a name because they were called a name previously....and on and on. We have started to focus on these issues and how we really want to treat others. I know that if they don't learn now how to be kind and not "repay" others for their actions, these bad behaviors will continue to grow. I certainly don't want my adult children to have a home filled with evil and a life consumed by conflict. A small lesson learned now will grow into a huge blessing in the future.
May God grant us all wisdom as we teach our children that "paybacks" never end and that we will get much farther in life when we treat others how we would like to be treated!
Maybe you disagree with me....that's ok! But, here are some examples that I recently encountered:
-take the couple at the restaurant, that weren't happy about anything they ordered..."She has another thing coming if she thinks she is getting a tip from us." Is it really her fault?
-what about the white truck on the way home that is weaving in and out of traffic and then for some reason decides to honk his horn, pull in front of you and slam on his breaks....obviously, something was done to upset him and he decided you deserved to be treated this way.
-then there is the student who is planning their birthday party and since you didn't invite her to your party (even though you didn't have one) she is not even going to consider inviting you to hers.
-watch the young boy on the playground when another child "steals his swing," a swing he left to go down the slide but everyone was suppose to know he was coming right back....watch as he takes his arm and pushes the other child and then states "that's what you get!"
-how about the sports match you are watching? One player hurt or pushed another play, sometimes on accident and what happens next...they get back at him, purposely and it's o.k.
I can find examples each and every day and at all age levels, it is so sad.
In Proverbs 17:13 we read "Evil will never leave the house of one who pays back evil for good." Wow, evil will never leave your home. That explains why it seems some people are always having trouble and always getting involved with strange fighting situations. Romans 12:17 also tells us "Do not repay evil for evil...", we are told several times in scripture that God will defend us and that we need not fight on our own behalf.
Our home is currently having some trouble with "paybacks." Now it is not as extreme as some of the things listed above, but it is still there. One sibling not sharing because the other didn't share yesterday....one not helping another because they didn't receive any help earlier....one calling a name because they were called a name previously....and on and on. We have started to focus on these issues and how we really want to treat others. I know that if they don't learn now how to be kind and not "repay" others for their actions, these bad behaviors will continue to grow. I certainly don't want my adult children to have a home filled with evil and a life consumed by conflict. A small lesson learned now will grow into a huge blessing in the future.
May God grant us all wisdom as we teach our children that "paybacks" never end and that we will get much farther in life when we treat others how we would like to be treated!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)