Destroying Seeds

Last week I took a few post to remember some people whom have influenced my life for the Kingdom of Christ. I hope that they encouraged and challenged you to plant seeds and leave a legacy of your own. This post is a polar opposite post. Planting seeds can be done in many ways and can have amazing results. Destroying the seed is just as easy and the results of such destruction can be even greater. Here are some seed destroying situations I have witnessed or been a part of that I would encourage you to try and avoid.

Labeling: When we become angry or frustrated we often label people. I am unsure what exactly happen before this reaction, but I once witnessed a mother/son scene that went like this..... She looked at her son and with anger in her voice, said "You are a liar. You are nothing but a liar. You will always be a liar. I will never defend you again. You are just a liar." Harsh. However, before we cast judgement, remember we have all been there. Maybe we haven't called our child a liar, but what about lazy, selfish, naughty, a baby or other words that might hurt and destroy seeds.

Ignoring: I am not talking about the type of ignoring that occurs when a child is taking a time-out or when a child is throwing a tantrum and you just choose to ignore them until their behavior changes. There are helpful ways of ignoring. I am talking about the ignoring that happens when everything else is "more important" than your child. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen (including in my own home) a situation where the TV or the smart phone or the computer game or whatever, is placed before the need of a child. Children, like all of us, want to be heard and understood. I love the pause feature on our television, it is extremely easy to pause whatever we are watching and devote our attention to the needs of the child. I would truly enjoy a pause button for all situations, unfortunately there isn't one and I just need to be very conscious of when I am ignoring them.

Over Punishing: At times when our children are completely "driving us crazy" it is easy to over punish. I have seen it many times. "Your behavior was horrible," we say and the punishments begin. We will start with a time-out and/or maybe a spanking and/or loosing a toy and/or not getting to have dessert and/or maybe not going to little Billy's party either. Although I am frustrated beyond my breaking point, I need to remember to use punishments that will help correct the behaviors, not every punishment I can think of. Our children will loose respect for us if our punishments are continually "unfair" and not fitting the situation we are in. There are many times when I need to remind myself that one punishment is enough and I just need to choose the punishment that will be most effective in helping my child learn.

I know that we all love our children very much and we truly only want the best for them. This best includes a loving relationship with Christ. Let's work hard to show our children Christ's love in all situations, especially when we are frustrated and upset. It takes a lot of time and energy to Raise An Orchard, let's be sure not to destroy any seeds along the way.