He Is Not Real

One of the things I love about children is their imagination. I love watching them make up plays, dances, songs and games. I am often amazed at what they are able to come up with. Just the other day the kiddos were playing and there was quite the bit of running, yelling, and overall excitement surrounding their game...so I asked what they were doing. The response, "we are slaves, and we overheard our owner saying that he was going to separate us and sell some of us. We want to stay a family, so we are running away to Chicago. I have to go mom, or I will miss the train. Bye!" And off she went. I loved it!

Although their creativity is great, it is hard for them sometimes to determine what is real and what is not. Almost every time we watch a movie or a show, someone will ask, "is this real life?" We talk about how you can see things that help you know if it is real or not, but sometimes it is really tough to tell. Sometimes what is not real or true is made to look real, these lead to great discussions.

Recently we went to the museum with a group. We were enjoying our day and looking at the great displays around us. An 11 year old boy started telling me about the study he was doing with Mythology. He became so excited and was describing his favorite god, Triton. He was going on and on, it was pretty cute. Finally, after several minutes of his animated descriptions, I said, "you know he is not real, right?" His enthusiasm seemed to drain right out of him as he looked at me and said, "yah, I know." I felt like I had just popped his bubble. I was saddened and I wanted to tell him about the real God with just as much enthusiasm as he shared with me.

We focus quite a bit in our home on what is real and what is not. The majority of our focus is on helping our children see that what the Bible says is real and that Jesus is real. Our world today is filled with messages of how God is just a myth, much like the gods of mythology. Society is working hard to teach our children that the Bible is just a book. It is very important to us that our children know the truth and be able to defend the truth. We want them to have a strong "trunk" that keeps them upright when the winds of the world come blowing their way.

I truly love my children, I love their imagination, and I love when they are excited about learning, however, I love them too much to allow them to grow up deciding truth for themselves or having some professor decide it for them. The truth is the truth and no matter what society says, what is REAL does not change!

Looking at Our Intent

With seven people in the home, more when friends are over, there always seems to be a great deal of activity at any given moment. On any given day we are doing homework, cleaning, cooking, discovering, creating and testing boundaries. Each and everyday we have a conflict of some kind, often more than one conflict. I have learned to do more than listen to what occurred, I try to look for the intent.

What was the child trying to do? Why did the conflict start? What was the spirit of the situation? Here are two examples that recently happened in our family.

Our 4 year old son is starting to ride his bike without training wheels. One of his older sisters has been teaching and helping him. They are doing great! There is a great deal of cheering and wonderfully successful rides are taking place. Later in the day, the before mentioned older sister is at a friends house. Another older sister was home and was willing to give a helping hand. Well, she "didn't do it right" and she "made me crash" and now "I am bleeding and it is all her fault." Although our son wanted his sister punished to the full extent of the law, I could see that she had not intentionally hurt her brother and that she was actually trying to help him. Therefore, to the disappointment of her brother, no punishment was given.

The same day a sister had borrowed and was wearing an article of clothing belonging to another. This sister did not ask to borrow the item and was refusing to take it off. Now, this situation contained no blood, no pushing or physical malice, however it was worthy of punishment. One had clearly intended to take something that wasn't hers and was acting out in selfishness. A punishment was warranted.

As adults, we are very seldom "punished" for our daily actions. However, I would encourage us to look at our own intent. When we are having a conflict with one of our children, what are we really trying to do? What is the spirit we are bringing to the situation? Are we able to use this situation to show our children how to respond when they become frustrated and disappointed? Or, are we reinforcing the very behaviors we are trying to deter? I hate to admit it, but too often my response is not one of teaching and training, but of anger and punishment. Let me encourage all of us (especially me) to take a deep breathe before we discipline and make sure that our intent is pure. May we always remember that each situation, although it may seem like a challenge to our authority, is really just another lesson that our children need to learn. We are their teacher and it should be our intent to train them as we show them the wrong they are doing.

This is truly one of my biggest struggles. May God give us all strength as we share His love and train our children to respect both Him and us. 

Legacy Builder #3 "Constant"

This is my final legacy builder post. I have written about a very influential first grade teacher, a Bible study leader whose challenges changed the entire direction of my life and today I write about a family member who provided a constant place for love and encouragement. This constant strong pillar in my life was my Grandfather.

As some of you know my childhood was filled with great obstacles, heartaches and challenging situations. One of the most difficult challenges, something that still invades my thoughts to this day, is the fact that my earthly father abandoned me when I was still in the womb. I spent many a night wondering what I could do different to make my father want to be with me. How can I be a better person? How can I convince him that I don't want anything from him except to know him? How can I even find him?

This longing for a loving earthly father is something that I struggle with from time to time. However, I had a wonderful grandfather that filled much of the void I felt as a young child. He treated me like his own daughter. He embraced my struggles and celebrated my triumph. In a world where I never knew what was happening next, he was a strong tower for me to lean on.

As I think about it, I am led to believe that he is the one that started this desire I have to serve other. He seemed to always be doing something for someone else and expecting nothing in return. He served our country in WWII, he served two communities as a volunteer fireman well into his retirement, he served his neighborhood by picking up trash each day when he took his walk, he served his church by being an usher, and he served his family by being an example of love and encouragement. I know that my grandfather served many and impacted many because when my grandfather went to live with Jesus, about 4 years ago, several people sent nice cards and notes telling of the influence he had on them.

So I had an awesome grandpa, so what? I share this with you to show you that it doesn't take a lot to leave a legacy. All you need to do to change a life for Christ is to be yourself. Simply take the love that Christ has given you and live that love everyday. You could become someone's "constant." The only consistent thing in their life, maybe the only positive thing in their life. I pray that God will bless each one of us as we "Dare to live a legacy!"

Legacy Builder #2 "The Gathering"

I have been talking about the importance of the legacy you are leaving and sharing stories of the people whom God used to change my life and impact His Kingdom. The second person I want to write about is named Jim. This is not the Jim I am married to, however he has also been a great influence in my walk with Christ. No, this Jim is a bit older than mine and in the 90's he was led to run a small Christian radio station and a singles Bible study called, "The Gathering."

The Gathering was unlike any Bible study I had attended and has still not been topped by any study I have attended since. It was a simple concept....reserve a room at the YMCA, open the study to local high school and college students, spend the evening lifting each other up in prayer, singing praises to our God, and looking into His Word to discover how to allow Christ to use your life for His purposes. There were no fancy lights, no game tables, no snacks and no band. It certainly doesn't seem like it would be a place for over 100 youth to come on a Thursday night, but it was. The room was often too full to move as we packed in and sat shoulder to shoulder to hear God's Word.

Jim led the study, speaking from his heart almost every Thursday. He encouraged us to truly pray for each other. Not just the "God help Mike" type of prayers, but specific prayers that would not only help and encourage the one we were praying for, but also impact the person praying. He asked us to truly worship. He didn't care how well we sang or if we knew the words, he asked us to give all that we had at that time to praise God. Forget the worries, set aside the stresses, ignore your "image" and become completely immersed in giving God the praises He deserved. And then, each and every week he would challenge us. He would challenge us to think beyond what the world was telling us and to look at God's Word. Challenge us to seek purity, to give each day to growing the Kingdom, to set aside our desire for a mate or material possessions and search only for what Christ had in store for us.

I had never experienced a challenge like this before. I had listened to many sermons in my young life, but the pastors didn't speak like Jim. He spoke with urgency. He spoke of God's best plan for our lives and of the amazing blessings that we will receive each and everyday that we seek Him first. He spoke of a Heavenly Father that loved me, loved me even with all my faults, loved me even more than I could imagine and wanted to spend each day in a relationship with me. These challenges changed my life!

I married the man I married because of these challenges. I live the way I live because of these challenges. I am who I am today because of these challenges. I praise God for Jim and the challenges he gave and how he allowed God to move through his life.

I encourage you to think of the people who have influenced your life for the Kingdom. I pray that you would be open to God using your life to change the lives around you. It obviously starts with your family, but extends to your neighbors, co-workers and people we encounter every day. The love you have for Christ can change the lives of those you encounter. Dare to leave a legacy!

Legacy Builder #1 "Page Turning"

The whole point of Raising an Orchard is to leave a legacy through your children that will impact the world for the Kingdom of God. Sometimes this task seems extremely overwhelming to me. However, when I think of the people in my life that have left their legacy with me, it was the simple things that made the most impact. My next few posts are going to be their stories, the stories of the legacy builders I have had in my life. I pray that they will encourage you and help us all remember that it is Christ working through us that makes the greatest impact.

The very first person I can remember leaving a lasting impression on me is my first grade teacher. Her name is Ms. Natzkey (not sure about the spelling, but that is what it sounds like). I remember her being a bit older than the other teachers in the school and by the time I realized the impact she had on my life she was no longer there. I have told her story many times, but have never had the chance to thank her for the amazing love and kindness she showed to me. I pray that when she reaches heaven, Christ will show her the impact she had on my life!

I was a latch key child. At the age of six, I would walk several blocks to our tri-plex apartment and wait alone until my mother came home from work. These were not exciting times. I spent the hours in various ways....making concoctions out of spices and freezing them, inventing new snacks to try, visiting the elderly lady across the street, singing along to my mother's 8-track tapes and playing with toys in my room. I often ran out of "things" to do. 

There were many days when I just didn't feel like going home. I just didn't want to be alone. Many of those days I would ask to stay after school and "help." I would wipe boards, pick up trash, help prepare things for the next day, but my favorite thing to do was turn pages. You see, I went to a small Christian school in town and Ms. Natzkey was also the church organist. We would walk over to the church, climb to the balcony and practice for Sunday worship. Now being a six year old, I was rather short and couldn't reach the pages, so she would help me climb up on the bench next to her. I would stand on the bench turning pages when she nodded her head and be so proud to be helping. I never wanted those practices to end. 

Years later when I became a teacher myself, those afternoons in first grade became even more important to me. You see, all these years I had thought I was truly helping Ms. Natzkey and she was showing me kindness because she was thankful. However, I can tell you from experience, that the last thing a teacher wants after an exhausting day is for a student to stay after school. I would become so frustrated when students would want to stay in my room after school, I had things to do, I entertained you all day....go bug someone else. 

Just when those thoughts would creep into my mind, I would remember Ms. Natzkey and tears would come to my eyes. She must have felt the same way many times, but I never knew it. All I knew was her love, her companionship and her gracious heart. I didn't know it when I was six, but God used Ms. Natzkey to plant a seed and because of the love she had for Christ, that seed has grown into a fruit bearing tree. The kindness she showed to an lonely six year old girl has been multiplied and her legacy now lives through me.

Ms. Natzkey was a true blessing. She blessed me when I was in first grade. Her memory blessed me when I was a teacher. Her legacy blesses me now. Simply spending a few moments with a lonely child has changed the lives of many. I can do that. I can spend time with a lonely child. You can do that. Who knows what those few moments will become? Dare to leave a legacy!

Side By Side Training

Have you ever asked your children to do something and been fairly disappointed with the results? Maybe you asked them to clear the table after dinner. They tell you they are finished. You go to look at the table and it is not exactly what you were expecting. This happens all the time at my house. It seems that my idea of a completed task and their idea of a completed task do not exactly match up. This can sometimes lead to disappointment on my part and frustration on theirs. Two things I try to avoid.

I was thinking about this very concept this weekend and wondering why this seems to occur so often in our home. My conclusion....it was my fault. Like with most things that perplex me about my family, it came down to me and what I have failed to do. Bummer!

I discovered, that I haven't really taught my children how to complete the task I am asking. I have come to assume that they should have seen me complete the task 100's of times and they should just know. Or, because I have taught one of them how to do something...they all know what to do. When thinking about the situation some more, I discovered that there is no way I could back up a trailer even though I have seen it done many times. I can't really play the piano, even though I have seen it done 100's of times. My children need me to teach them how to complete the task.

Teaching them to complete a task correctly can be time consuming and may take more than one lesson, which is probably why I have done such a poor job of teaching them in the first place. But, if we complete the task together, side by side, with me explaining the steps as we go, it becomes a blessing for us both. A little time invested now should produce many years of correctly completed tasks without disappointment and frustration.

It occurred to me, that this is what Jesus did with the disciples. He called them to leave what they were doing and walk side by side with Him. He took this time to invest in the disciples and teach them how to complete the tasks the way He wanted. As we read the scriptures, we find that there are times when the disciples didn't complete the task correctly, even though they had seen Jesus do the same thing many times. Jesus needed to take time and guide the disciples over and over again.

I can see that I have been called to do the same. I need to have our children walk side by side with me. I need to invest in them and teach them the tasks that need to be completed. This will not only bless me and our family, but it will help prepare them to bless their own family in the future. I can only imagine how much joy it will give me to see our grown children walking side by side with their own.

Consumed By Busy-ness

As I laid in my 4 year old's bed the other night, rubbing his back, I realized that it has been way too long since I had been there. I actually could not remember the last time I had spent time just rubbing his back and loving him as he went to sleep. This got me thinking, am I giving each one of our kiddos the individual time they each need? The answer was clearly "no," but why?

Simply put, I am busy. I am the homeschooling mother of five children, the wife of a music minister, a child care provider, a volunteer, a writer, a daughter and a friend....I am busy. I can always find something to do. There is plenty of laundry, dirty dishes, homework, projects, meals and events that need my attention. I am busy. I am sure you are busy. It seems that everyone is busy.

I have realized that I have allowed myself to become consumed by the busy-ness. I am so busy trying to get "everything" done, that I am missing the most important things....my family. The more I thought about it, the more I could see that each member of my family was truly getting what I had left. After giving all of my energy to the "stuff" calling my name, I have only marginal energy to give to my husband and kids. Somehow I had switched my checklist around and somehow "stuff" had founds its way to the top of the list.

When did this happen? How long had it been this way? I don't even know. But, it doesn't really matter. Today is a new day. Today is a day I can go to each member individually and ask for their forgiveness. Today is a day that I can challenge myself to do at least one thing with each member of the family. It can be as simple as just sitting together and reading a book, or maybe I will help my daughter empty the dishwasher today and we can talk at the same time, or maybe I can play outside with them for a bit and let the "to do list" rest for a moment. Today is a new day and I am going to choose to be present in the lives of my family and not allow the busy-ness to consume me.

This might seem a bit silly or trivial to some, but I am choosing to remember that I only have these little blessings for a very short time. Only about 1/4 of their life is spent here with me at home, and it is that high because we homeschool and do almost everything together. God has given them to me and my husband to help prepare them for the work they will do in His Kingdom. This is the most important job I have! The memories we make today with our children are going to guide them in the decisions they make in the future. It is a great responsibility, one too important to be pushed aside by busy-ness.

May God bless each of us as we strive today to set aside the busy-ness and be consumed by what is truly important....Jesus, our family and loving others.

Rethinking First Fruits

This week in our small group Bible study we were talking about Jericho and when the Israelites had crossed the Jordan. In the study the discussion turned to the concept of first fruits. (Deuteronomy 26:1-4) I had always thought of first fruits as an old testament version of the tithe. We give our 10%, so I rarely thought about first fruits.....that lesson is obviously for someone else. Well maybe not. Let's take a moment and look at first fruits in a bit of a different light.

When the Israelites were finally allowed to leave the desert (after several decades), they came to the oasis known as Jericho. They of course conquered Jericho by marching around the city and having the walls fall down. This I knew. I however, missed the part of the story where God told them to leave this beautiful land destroyed and not build a town in this lush land. God declared that Jericho was His. This was to be a first fruits offering for God. So the first useful land they have seen since leaving Egypt, they can't use. It belongs to God.

Now when the Israelites continued to move through the land and claim it for their own, they did find a great deal of land that was good for building towns and growing crops. This I knew. I however, had a totally different picture of what they were to do with those crops. In my mind a first fruits offering came at harvest. When the crop was harvested the first basket would be delivered to the Levites as the first fruit offering. Well, I was wrong. The first fruits offering came when the first crops grew. They were to take the first remnant of the crop and give it to the Levites then and there. They had toiled and worked hard to see this crop begin to produce, but then not knowing if a hail storm would come or a drought would destroy or disease set in or if anymore crop would grow, they were to harvest what was there and give it as an offering. They were to completely trust God to continue to bless their crop and provide a harvest for their family in the weeks to come.

As you might notice, this has truly amazed me. Growing something does not come easy to me and I am always so overjoyed when the plants actually produce something, I simply can not imagine taking the first signs of progress and giving them to someone else. What if there isn't anymore? What if this is the only crop we get? Well, this is exactly what God is asking for....complete trust in Him and His provisions. Complete trust.

What does this have to do with you and me? Well, I have been thinking about that very thought for a few days now. I truly believe that God is still calling us to give Him our "first fruits," but I think it might look a little different in our society today. Essentially the first fruit is suppose to be the first part of something, so humor me a bit. What if our first fruit offering is the first moments of our day? What if our first fruits offering means before paying any bills we give to God what is His? What if our first fruits offering is truly the harvest we collect, and we take the first signs of harvest to a needy family in our church or community? What if our first fruits is to be what we "grow up" to do with our lives? What if God is calling us to give Him the best parts of our career, the best parts of our day, the best parts of our cooking, the best parts of everything? What if?

Now if that isn't mind boggling enough, what if He is asking the same of our children. How do we teach our children that God is still calling us to give Him our first fruits? Not just a tithe, but the best parts of our daily lives...the best parts of our friendships, the best parts of our talents, the best parts of all we do. I am not sure I know the answer just yet. But I do know that this is certainly something we are going to talk about, something we are going to be more deliberate about, something that we are going to challenge ourselves with. I pray that you will be encouraged to do the same with your family. I can only imagine the blessings that God has in store for them as they learn to think differently about their days.

What Do You Say?

This post is being written within 24 hours of the terrorist attack on the Boston Marathon and in no way is meant to trivialize the horrible events that occurred. My prayers and thoughts are with all those affected by this tragic event. May the love of Christ be poured out to them and sustain them through these days.

What do you say? What do you say when you are watching the news coverage on the television and your child walks in and asks, "what happened?" How do you respond to their concern for their own safety? These are questions that we have been wrestling with these last 24 hours.

I didn't tell my children at first. I was able to watch a good 15 minutes of coverage before I was approached by the first child. We watched a few minutes of coverage together, but it wasn't long before each member of the family had made their way to the television. We paused the coverage and stopped to talk about what had happened. It was a tough conversation.

Our children know people who run races, we double checked to be sure none of them were at the race. We also know people who live in Boston, we checked on them and their safety. Once they knew the people that they cared about were safe, their interest changed direction. They were now focused on all the people they see hurt and were especially interested once they saw a child be carried away. Their focused moved from worry to why.

Why would someone want to hurt people who are standing and watching a race? Why would someone be mad at people running a marathon? Why would anyone want to hurt little kids? Why? What do you say?

The hard reality is we live in a world consumed by sin, hatred and selfishness. There are people in this world that find great joy in harming others. There are people in this world who believe that killing Americans will bring them glory and salvation. There are children in this world who deal with explosions and tragedy everyday. Why? What do you say?

Although our children do not fully understand what happened, we can learn many things from a situation like this. First, we can talk about all the people who helped. People who were and are giving of themselves to help the victims. People who are donating blood, shelter and medical care. These things are important all the time, but things intensify during a tragedy. Next we talk about being safe. That truly an accident can happen anytime anywhere and a horrifying event can happen anytime anywhere. We trust that Jesus is protecting us and that He will work through us even if we are hurt in a situation. Finally, we talk about the importance of loving others. Of loving them enough to show them Jesus' love. Loving them enough to talk to them about Jesus, because one day each of us will end our time here on earth. It might be when we are 90 in hospice care, it might be in a car accident when we are 40 or it might be watching our dad run a race when we are 8.

What do I say? Honestly when I see a tragic situation on the tv or in the news, the first thing I think is "did they know Jesus?" Days like yesterday remind me how important it is for me to be sharing my faith with others. I do not know the time or the place when my life will end, but I know that my redeemer lives and because He lives I will live with Him in eternity. What about our neighbor, co-worker, friend or family member? What will happen if they are faced with a tragic event tomorrow? Will I be able to say that I loved them enough to tell them? Will you? What do we say?

Father God, I am thankful that each person that I know was not harmed in the bombing in Boston. I pray Father that you will continue to send strength to the families involved, and that they might experience an outpouring of love and support. I pray for the medical staff, that you would grant them discernment as they are treating the individual victims. I pray for the law enforcement officials, that you would guide them to an understanding of what happened and that you would lead them to the person or persons responsible. I pray for each family around the world who is trying to explain such a tragic event to their children. And Father I pray that you would continually remind me of days like today and how important it is to share your gift of salvation with those around me. Be glorified in my family and help us to make choices that bring you praise and honor! In your Holy name we pray....Amen

Can You Handle It?

I have heard people refer to Christianity as a crouch, saying that only the weak believe that they need a God to do something they do everyday. I have also been told personally how foolish I am to not use my commonsense, when I make a choice to trust God fully in a situation. I read posts and/or articles almost everyday about how raising children in a Christian home is almost tragic....people talking about how my children are brainwashed and have no freedom. I have been insulted, judged and threatened by medical personnel who feel their quick solutions are better than what my research and scriptures say.

This week I was struggling with a situation where my beliefs were once again being called into question, where I was once again being challenged by someone "smarter" than I. Thankfully I had some time to pray, read and consider my options before needing to give a final response to this challenge. One of the books I was reading was written by Stormie Omartian and while reading I came across this quote, "If you think you can handle all God has for you to do ON YOUR OWN, then you are thinking TOO SMALL." (emphasis mine) That quote jumped off the page and truly inspired me.

If I think that I can handle all that God has for me to do in my lifetime by my own strength, then I am not thinking big enough. God's plans are greater than all I could ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). My plans might be good, and I might do my best to raise a family for His glory, but if I am trusting in my own strength I may not experiencing all God has for us. He is able to do immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine.

I want you to know that the situation I was struggling with when I read this quote has worked out great. God used another person to influence the person that was pressuring me. He used this other person to influence the situation so much that I didn't even need to make a decision. My beliefs were honored, my family was safe and I didn't even have to defend myself. He had the entire situation completely under His control.

Let me encourage you today to look at your life and the plans you have for your family. Are you allowing God to think big ideas or are you handling the situation and keeping the ideas small? Do you need extra strength to follow the path you know He has for you? Please, be encouraged and know that God's plans are greater than all you could ask or imagine. Pray about it, and allow Him to handle the situations and do Great things through you and your family! Don't handle it on your own He is planning BIG!

Remember His Promises

Joshua 23: 14 "....You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed."

Many times in the Bible, God directs His people to remember, He has them place a rock or build an altar or leave a type of monument. The purpose of these items is so that in the future, when they pass by one of these they will remember and tell others what happened. They were tell others of the promises God fulfilled and how He brought them thru the trial they faced.

Somewhere along the line they forgot. They forgot to share the amazing journey that God had brought them on. They forgot that God has never failed them. They started to live according to the people around them. They began to use other things besides God's Word to help them make their decisions. They lost sight of the monuments God had given them to help them remember.

Today, the fulfilled promises of God are often looked at as myth or foolishness. Today, few have even been told of the promises or that God never fails. Instead today the world teaches us that there is "a better way." A way that is not lead by God, but by reason, research, and majority rule. Today, we are taught that believing in God means we are weak, but believing in the ability of man means we are strong. Oh how far we have strayed!

I would like to encourage us today to remember. Remember what God has brought His people through, and remember what promises God has kept to us on our journey. Let us put "rocks" in our homes to help us remember each time we pass them. Let's tell these fulfilled promises to our friends and children. God doesn't give us trials to test us, but to display His Glory. His faithfulness not only encourages us, but His faithfulness to us can also be a powerful encouragement for others. Let us continually remind our children that God has never failed, that His ways do not make us weak but strong and that He always fulfills His promises. These reminders will help your children to grow to trust God instead of man and give them strength to make it through each day.

May God truly bless you as you take this journey with your children and continue to remind them of God's promises and Love!

An Open Gate

My last post talked about the need for us and our children to be content living inside the boundaries that God has laid out for us. I still believe everything that I wrote, however the more I thought about the post the more I realized that for some of us, it is too late....we are already on the outside of the fence. Today's post is for anyone who finds themselves on the other side of the boundary line.....God has left the gate open for you!

It is true that God gives us boundaries and guidelines because He loves us and desires the best for us, much like we do for our own children. However, when we find ourselves living outside those boundaries and guidelines we need to remember that their is still hope. God is always inviting us back into His presence. He leaves a gate open for you and me.

Romans 3:23 reminds us that we "all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God."We have all made choices to leave the fence and walk our own way. But, the great news is that He sent His son Jesus to make a way for us to return. Romans 3:24 continues and reminds us that we all are "justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ. " There is an open gate!

No matter where outside the fence we have been, no matter how long we have stayed outside the fence and no matter how far from God we feel.....He loves us, His son has died for us, and we are welcome in His presence when we allow the blood of Christ to wash over us. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that when we invite Jesus into our hearts and into our lives, we are a "new creation, the old has gone and the new has come." Not only does Jesus open the gate and let us inside the fence, He gives us a "do over." We can start completely fresh, completely new and gain new strength to stay inside the fence and turn away from the life we once lived.

Living inside the fence can be hard, but I have learned that anything precious or important requires hard work. Being a parent who is intentional with their children is hard.....being married to one person for all time is hard....forgiving others as we want to be forgiven is hard.....graduating from college is hard.....doing your best at everything you do is hard.....living a life according to God's best plan can be hard, but with this perseverance comes hope. Hope for today, hope for tomorrow and hope for eternity.

I pray that when we find ourself or our children outside the fence, that we would remember that we have a God who loves us, who believes in second chances and who leaves the gate open for us to run back into His presence. I know that these are promises that I rest on everyday!

Life Inside the Fence

There is a loving pet who has been given reign of the entire backyard. This pet has a fenced yard that is nearly an acre. The yard contains trees for shade, large grassy areas for running, shelter and water. The yard truly has everything the pet would need to be happy and healthy. But, for some reason the pet desires to get outside the fence. The pet doesn't realize that the road outside the fence is filled with cars traveling 55 miles an hour, that the woods beyond the fence contain coyotes and other large predators, or that even though the land on the other side of the fence looks the same, it is filled with danger and is nothing like the secure land he has been provided. The pet simply sees other animals on the outside of the fence and assumes things would be better if he could get there.

This short description reminds me of how we treat the loving guidelines the Lord has given us. In His Word, He has provided us boundaries, where we should go and where we should not. He has told us how to live healthy happy lives. He has shown us how to live in a safe and productive way. But, we like the pet are not happy with the boundaries we have, we are continually looking to the "other side" and assuming that we are missing out on something. Much like the pet, we don't realize the extreme danger there is waiting for us outside the fence and that leaving the fence will lead to certain pain, destruction and even death. We seem to forget that God loves us and desires the very best for us and that is the only reason He has shown us the boundaries.

I have often wondered why so many seem to spend so much time and energy living outside the boundaries and then when they are hurt or something bad happens they are confused. It is not easy to live inside the boundaries, but it shouldn't be confusing that you get hurt when you choose to leave them. I know that each time I move beyond the loving boundaries set for me that I will experience a natural consequence for my actions. I have been hurt many times, usually when I thought I knew better, you would think I would learn my lesson and just stay inside the fence, but it is harder than it sounds.

In church yesterday, the speaker also talked about the strange need he sees in others to push the boundaries. He described it like this, "It is like there is a cliff that has a steep drop off and falling from the cliff would lead to certain death. So first I blindfold you and then I tell you that the edge of the cliff is somewhere between 2 and 200 feet in front of you. What do you do? Do you take a step closer to the cliff? Do you freeze right where you are? Do you step back and move farther from the cliff?"He reminded us that scripture says we should "flee" from sin. Flee! Not see how close we can get, not watch others sin, not see if we can sin without getting caught, but Flee...back-up...move away from the cliff.

Just like us, our children our faced with choices each day that test the boundaries God has given them. I pray that our children will be "caught" when they move outside "the fence." I desire for them to learn early that God's love has provided them with all they need and that His ways are far above anything the world has to offer them from the other side of "the fence."Let's strive to teach our children, and ourselves to flee from sin!

Self-control Now or ? Later

We pulled in the parking lot to find both an ambulance and a police car parked by the front doors. "I hope everyone is ok!" one daughter said. "What do you think happened?" another said. I really had no idea what might have happened. We decided to go in a side door and avoid the "excitement" happening at the front. When inside we found out that a man at our church's "soup kitchen" had lost his self-control. He had thrown glasses, chairs, salt and pepper, and was shouting all sorts of poor language. He needed to be removed and the people cut by the glass needed to be taken care of. We had thankfully missed the entire episode and everything would be fine, no one was seriously hurt.

In our home, most "punishments" occur because someone has lost their self-control. Maybe we lost control of our body and hit someone, maybe we lost control of our mouth and said something we shouldn't have, or maybe we lost control of our decisions and made a poor choice. Each one of our days we talk about self-control and practice trying to use self-control in all situations. We feel it is important for us to focus on our self-control now, because a lack of self-control can become a serious situation later.

I am sure you encounter grown adults who lack self-control each day. I see it when I look at the afternoon commute, or hear stories of shopping on black friday, or when I spend a day with our children at the park. I am truly amazed that there seems to be a whole generation of people who appear to have never been taught to control their actions and put others needs in front of their own. Our children see these situations as well. They notice the behavior of others in the stores or at the park, they see this lack of control being acted out in their favorite movie or show. If we don't take the time to "teach" our children self-control, I am certain they would not learn it from some other source.

In my opinion, the hardest part of helping our children develop self-control for me is looking in the mirror. Do my children see me demonstrating self-control? Am I able to curve my words when I become angry? Am I able to grab a healthier snack when I am hunger? Am I able to put down the electronics when I have responsibilities to attend to? Am I able to act in the way I am asking them to act?.......honestly, no, but we are all working towards having more self-control and fulfilling what is asked of us in Philippians 2:3 and 4: "Do noting out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

Family Fun

We love to do things as a family, however, with five children "fun" can be pretty expensive. With a little research and planning I have managed to fill our months with great free or almost free activities. I know how important the budget and fun are to families, so I wanted to take a few moments to share some of my "secrets" with all of you. We live in different areas, have different resources and different interests, but I hope that you will find something that will bless you and your family.

The Library....this is the first place that I look for free fun. Libraries are great places for families. They typically have one or two programs per month for families to enjoy. Most libraries also have times set aside for children to come and listen to fun stories each week. Summer library programs are one of my favorite activities. These programs usually reward your children with prizes for reading books they would normally read in the summer anyway. Aside from their programs, libraries may have movies that you can check out for free; no need to rent a movie for the weekend, check it out from the library.

Free Days...check with your local museum and zoo. Most museums and Zoos offer free or discounted days during the year. These may take a good deal of researching, but they are available. Now, you might be thinking that a museum doesn't sound like much fun, but it is all in your attitude. Our children love the art museum...I know nothing about art, and probably would scare most art teachers, but we have fun. Let me encourage you to try something new and let your children's interests lead you. You may be surprised which parts of the museum become their favorite. Don't forget to check out the museums and zoos when you go on trips, we have even planned trips around free museum days in different towns. Great memories!

City Parks and Rec departments...many communities have government departments that plan activities for families all year round. These activities could include sporting classes or leagues, summer camps, holiday events, and special guest programs. Be sure to check the communities around you as well. One of our favorite community events is the Big Rig Gig. This is a time when kids get to climb in all the big trucks and machines that the city owns. Simple, but really fun.

Large Churches...churches are often planning community events like Easter Egg Hunts, Christmas plays, summer bible day camps (VBS), sports camps and fun retreats. Large churches typically are able to offer more of these events, but small churches often offer them as well. It does not matter if you regularly attend a certain church, I have never seen a church were being a member of their church was required for participation.

Farmers Market....there are many farmer's markets that have activity tents or special events to bring more people into the market. It is also a great way to expose your kiddos to produce you don't typically have in your home. Many of the farmers will give sample and/or allow you to purchase just one item to allow the whole family to try something new.

Serving Opportunities...a lot of family fun places, including most Christian ministries will give you a large discount or even a free "pass" if you and/or your family serves the organization while you are there. For example, a large Christian music festival in our area will give you a free ticket for the entire event if you volunteer a certain amount of hours. I also know of several Christian camps that will invite families to stay for free if they help them prepare for the season...not hard work, just painting, raking and light types of labor.

University Events....be sure to watch your local university. Most of them will have community events 3-4 times a year to get people interested in being on their campus. Many of them also have "fan clubs" for kids. Our local fan club sends the children free tickets to minor sporting events. Our family is able to attend volleyball, soccer, hockey and softball games only needing to purchase a $5 ticket for the adult.

Grand Openings and Sidewalk Sales.... many businesses will have large events when they are having a grand opening or sidewalk sale. We have attended some with bounce houses, pony rides, petting zoos, face painting and free food.

No matter how large your family may be, let me encourage you to look in the local paper, talk to friends and do some research on the internet. You will be surprised at the free or almost free activities your family will enjoy this summer. Do you already have some favorite free activities? Consider sharing your secrets with other readers, I know I would love to hear your ideas.

Easter Hunt or Life Hunt

Like many families in the past few days our children participated in an Easter hunt. It is tradition in our family for Grammy to hide a basket for each child somewhere in her home. Each basket is clearly marked for the child it is intended...so not only do you need to find a basket, you need to find the basket  made just for you.

It is quite fun to watch the kiddos as they look up high, down low, and in closets, cupboards, appliances, and drawers. The hunts always start the same, with excitement and anticipation. However, about 15 minutes into the hunt someone starts to get discouraged, someone has found a basket that doesn't belong to them and someone has found their prize. It may take awhile, but with a bit of encouragement, everyone perseveres and finds their own special basket.

I can't help but think that our hunt experience mirrors our walk in this world. Our children are very aware of the great prize that awaits them at the end of this earthly life, but sometimes it can become just like the hunt. Part way through their journey, they may become discouraged. Many times society makes it difficult for us all to make the best choices. There are other times when we look at those around us, they seem to have it all together, so we choose to do what they are doing. These can be discouraging times when children are growing and trying to find the path that God has designed for them.

It is fun during an Easter hunt to watch our children look frantically and make funny choices. Let me encourage you to take a different approach as your children "hunt" for their future. We should not sit by and watch as our kiddos make poor choices that allow them to become discouraged. Following Christ is a journey that takes endurance, strength and perseverance...these are all things we could use help with, let us be encouraging voices in our child's life as they grow in these areas and keep them moving in the right direction. It is also important to help our children continually seek the special path God has just for them. There is no need to be "just like everyone else."Following a path God has made for someone else is NOT going to bring ANYONE great joy and fulfillment. Helping our children to see God's special design just for them, will help strengthen them when times are getting tough. We can also get encouragement sometimes by looking at those that have found their prize in Christ. Seeing how God is working in their lives and how He is using them can also be motivating for youth that are struggling, helping them to see that God truly does use us for His plans.

I know many people feel that we should just let young people "discover" for themselves where they want to be in life. But, I would argue that there are an extreme few that actually do this. There are influences coming from all directions wanting our children to become like them. Let me encourage you to be intentional in encouraging your children to follow the path God has planned for them. Help them to "hunt" for what God has designed special just for them. What a blessing that will be! As the saying goes, "If we don't take the time to teach our children to follow Christ. The world will teach them not to." May God give you strength, endurance and perseverance to raise these blessings He has given you.

Printer Patience

I am really not one to pray for patience, as I know that God will give me many opportunities to practice that new patience I asked for. However, the other day I was noticing that our family is in need of a bit more patience.

Our four year old was printing something that he had made on the computer. He became upset, because the printer was out of paper and his picture "wasn't coming out." I put more paper in the printer and we tried again. I was amazed at the lack of patience this little man had. He just kept asking, "Is it ready now, mom? Is it ready now?" I thought back to when I was younger, and the printers were the dot matrix kind. It took "forever" for the pictures to come out, and when they did they looked funny. "Our kiddos have no idea how long printers can take," I thought to myself. They are blessed.

About five minutes later, our youngest daughter was asking for help with her homework. She had become frustrated and had given up. When looking at her work, it appeared to me that she hadn't really tried very hard and had given up quite early. I helped her to see how she could have figured the problem out by herself. It turned out she simply did not have enough patience to complete the problem on her own.

There were several other instances that day where we lacked the patience needed to accomplish what had to be done. I guess this lifestyle of microwaves, remote controls, internet and fast food has caused us to expect everything to happen quickly....and when it doesn't we become unhappy. This started a deliberate practice on my part to help our children become more patient. I now ask my children to wait more than I have in the past, whether it be for a snack, for a special event or for their turn. I have also begun talking about being more patient with each other and with our circumstances.

I think it is important for us all to learn patience. There are many times when we pray and ask God for this or that and He seems to take "forever" to respond. We need to remember that God's timing is always best. If we don't learn patience, then we are likely to take things into our own hands instead of waiting for God's perfect timing. Our inability to wait for God's timing could cause some major problems....just look at Abraham and Sarah. Sarah became impatient and no longer trusted God to provide her the children that Abraham desired and was promised, so she took matters into her own hands. Those actions have been the cause of many wars, lasting even until today.

Patience....let's all work to have a bit more patience each and everyday. Imagine how pleasant our homes would be if we were all growing in patience. May God truly bless you and your family as you desire to serve Him more!