No Apology Needed

When did it become "against the rules" to bring your children to the grocery store? A few days ago I had a friend express frustration because others in the grocery store were making comments about her children. Today I went to the store with four of our children and received many looks that made me feel judged and a bit uncomfortable. Did I miss a memo? I thought children were allowed in grocery stores.?.

Now, I am not suggesting that we let our children run wild throughout the store, touching each item and screaming loudly. It is important for all children to learn self-control and demonstrate appropriate behavior no matter where they are. People often tell me they never take their children to restaurants, stores or even church because they just can't behave. My response is usually to ask, "How are they going to learn how to behave in those situations if they are never taught?" As parents, one of our jobs is to teach our children how to respond to situations around us. We all need to be taught, none of us just decided that one day we were mature enough to handle a given situation on our own without preparation.

My question really is, "When did people become so intolerant with the teaching process?" When did people decide it was their job to say something in a store to a mother who is trying to teach her son how to conduct themselves in a store? My friend has a child that has some special needs, he was in a cart and not running through the store, she was doing what she thought was best to help him understand how he should act, when a complete stranger rudely reprimanded her.

She of course was crushed. She was already having a challenging time just trying to get some quick basic needs and now she has "failed" as a mom. Or, at least that is how she felt. She apologized for her child's behavior and tried to quickly wrap up their trip and move on their way with her broken spirit dragging behind her. I don't feel she should have apologized. She doesn't need to explain to anyone that her child has some special needs. She does not need to ask permission to take her children to the store for a few items.

It has made me wonder how many mom's go through their days apologizing or making special arrangements to keep their children from "bothering" others. How exhausting that must be! Let me encourage us all to remember that all children are wonderful gifts from God. They are fearfully and wonderfully made, made in His image. God has a plan for each one of them. Each child, no matter how "special," is part of God's family. Please, don't ever apologize for your child's presence! (apologizing for harmful behavior is different)

I realize that I have a large family (one with some special needs) and that most people express that they would be overwhelmed with seven children, but why should I apologize for having them? They are precious, wonderful gifts from God and I can not imagine my life without them. My life, family and home are filled with so much love, joy and laughter because they are a part of it. I truly feel that people that don't have large families are missing out. Maybe I should just start apologizing that they don't have more children to enjoy! :-)