I Was Just Joking!

I don't know what it is like at your home, but here in our home we have many who think they are funny. I have nothing against funny...one of our daughters came in by us last night and read us a few jokes she had found: "Why don't you tell secrets on a farm? Because the corn has ears, the potato has eyes and the beans talk." Sorry, it made me chuckle. However, the type of funny I don't like is when we are funny because we made fun of someone else. "I was just joking," these are words I don't like to hear. 

To me, "I was just joking," is a clear sign that someone is being made fun of. It means that one sibling in our home is deciding to have fun at the expense of another sibling. These are words I have tried to eliminate from our home...not only the words, but the attitude that goes with them.

We have not been 100% successful with this goal. It is proving to be quite difficult because we have others in our lives who feel that joking at others expense is acceptable. There are even numerous TV shows designed just to make jokes at others expense. We do not watch these shows, but much of society does.

I was beginning to think that maybe I was just weird and that I should just relax and go with the flow. Then I read this verse from Proverbs 26:19...

 Like a madman shooting

    firebrands or deadly arrows

¹⁹ 

is a man who deceives his neighbor

    and says, “I was only joking!”

I must have read that verse several times over the years, but I never noticed the wording before. So, maybe I am not so crazy....maybe life is precious and we should treat others like they are precious....maybe I won't give up trying to remove, "I was just joking," from our home....and maybe this will be the next verse that we memorize as a family. 

What Is Underneath?

We have been getting a consistent amount of snow recently, nothing extravagant, just consistent small amounts. The ride home, during our latest snow storm, was filled with back roads that were not plowed and which were speckled with drifts from the snow coming off the occasional farmers field. When we had made our last turn, onto the road where we live, the road seemingly disappeared right in front of us. I stopped the van to get my bearings and said, "Where did the road go?" It was really more of a declaration on why we had stopped, then a question. However, I hear our preschool aged son yell from the back seat, "It is under the snow, mom!"This made me chuckle, say "thanks," and proceed down the road with caution to arrive safely home.

That morning when glancing at the new snow covered world around us...I started to think about other times when we cover things up and can't see what is underneath. When I look at my own life and the lives of my friends, I see many things that we try to cover and many things we cover without even knowing. Here is a quick look underneath some areas in my life, some I hope other see often...some I try hard to hide.

Joy...I truly am filled with Joy for what Christ has done for my life.
Thankfulness...I am thankful for the many blessings we have: home, children, marriage, health.
Clutter...We love to open our home to others, but I am always trying to handle the clutter that 7 people seem to accumulate.
Sleepiness....Although I absolutely love our youngest child, it has been over a year since I had a full night of sleep. There are many days when I cover my sleepiness by just pushing through my to do list.
Compassion....I desire to see everyone come to a saving knowledge of Christ. I pray that the compassion I have for others is something that is never hiding underneath.

No matter what we have underneath...whether it is something we want to shine or something we want to hide, I pray that you have people in your life that see the "underneath." People that love you for the person God has made you and help the best you shine through to the world around us.

Making Up the Rules

Our oldest daughter plays a competitive sport. She recently had a tournament where someone attended who knew a little about the sport, but not a lot. When the tournament was over, the person asked "Is it illegal for them to jump?" This made me laugh. NO, not only is it legal to jump, but they would actually improve their game a great deal if they would jump.....like they have been coached. This person truly believed that there was a rule against jumping.

This started me thinking about other places in our lives where we make up our own rules. Driving....I know what the speed limit is, but I won't get pulled over for driving 5 miles over. Food at events...I know that it says "No Carry-ins," but their food is too expensive and no one will notice if we just hide things in our bag. Our world is filled with situations where people are making up their own rules....drinking and driving, working without paying taxes....the list is long. We have learned to justify our own actions.

What about our faith? Have we started making up rules when it comes to our faith? Well, I can tell you that our family has. When I sat and took a closer look at what we do and what we teach our kids, I certainly see how it looks like we have made up some rules. Here are a few examples of "rules" I see when it comes to faith:
-Sunday is for worshipping God.....that's not a rule, everyday is for worshipping God; many of us go to church on Sunday, but we can also attend church on Saturday or Wednesday. Are we unintentionally communicating to people that if you can't come to church on Sunday morning, then you are not a Christian?
-Praying at Meals....I love praying at meals and I believe it is right for us to give thanks. However, have we been accidentally teaching our children that praying at meals is the only time we pray? or that this prayer needs to be said a certain way? I know that our 4 year old feels he must say a certain prayer...I noticed this yesterday when we prayed a different way as a family and two seconds later our son was saying his usual prayer before he took a bite.

The more I think about it, the more rules I see. I also remember hearing others say, "I could never be a Christian. There are just too many rules to follow." This saddens me. When I look at scripture I really only see two rules that Jesus gave us. The first is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. The second is to love our neighbor as ourself. It seems to me that I have complicated faith in our home. I desire for everyone to want to know more about Christ. This week I hope to take a look at our "rules" and see what we are saying to our children and to those who don't know much about Christ. I want them to see the Love of Christ, not our made up rules.

Celebrating Family

What a blessing it is to celebrate family! Today we are blessed to be taking some family time. (I actually wrote this yesterday, so I could devote my attention to them.) We have a somewhat large family and it is often difficult for us to match schedules with funds with fun activities....so when this opportunity arose, my husband said, "let's go!"

I love little times like this. We can step away from the everyday friends, technology, work and responsibilities to just focus on each other and the many blessings God has given us. Although we spend a good deal of time together on a regular basis, times away are extra special. Extra special because:

-We can dedicate some time to connect individually with each child. Although I try to spend time with each child everyday, many days that time is combined and/or interrupted. When we are on a special trip we can bond while sharing a water slide experience, chatting over a sundae, walking to the ice machine or just snuggling up on the "big" bed. Even the simple things can become something special.

-We get to make memories. I know that we make memories on a regular basis with each of our children, but when we are on a trip we are making memories we can all share and enjoy for many years to come. I am fascinated by the moments that the children remember. Have you ever sat and reminisced with your kiddos? I love how they each remember something different and how often they enjoyed a part of the trip a barely remember. Sharing our memories seems to make the trip even more special.

-We are able to try something new. Anyone who knows me personally, knows that I am not that interested in trying new things. I like what I like, so why try something new. However, when we are having special family time, I like to provide new opportunities for our children. The new opportunities for our children, often turn into new activities for me. I secretly admit that it is fun to try new things when I get to try them with my family.

I pray that I get to spend many years with my family here on earth. However, since I don't know how many days we have together on this earth, I want to celebrate my family as much as I possibly can. No matter how long our time is together, I want them to know that they are precious, that they are loved and that my life wouldn't be the same without them. I encourage you to celebrate your family today, even if it is just a normal day at home.....have fun making a memory!

Enjoying This Season

I truly love living in a part of the country where there are four seasons. My favorite season is fall, but there is something that I enjoy about each one of them. Just like the seasons of the year, there are seasons of life or stages as many people call them. To be honest I think it is often more difficult to enjoy a season of life than a season of the year.

One of my favorite seasons is right before a child turns one. I love the discoveries they are making. Our children at that age are beginning to sign, it is so nice to finally know what they want. They are starting to take steps and walking on their own.  They are able to entertain themselves with a bucket of toys or the pots and pans in the cupboard. But, my heart overflows when the little one looks me square in the face, smiles the largest smile and says, "Mama." That 5 second exchange can sustain me for hours, even days.

One of my least favorite seasons is the age when a child thinks they no longer need me. They are convinced that they are old enough to make their own decisions and really don't need my advice. It is difficult for me to sit back and watch many of the natural consequences that come from their sometimes foolish actions. I know that they are grown, but in my eyes they are still my little babes. I want nothing more than to scoop them up and cradle them in my arms. However, I do enjoy seeing the wise choices they make and how many times the advice I am thinking just flows from their mouths.

I believe that every season has the good and the not so good. There was a season in our marriage when we experienced a miscarriage. That was a painful season. But, even through that difficult time, we were blessed. Blessed with flowers, meals, babysitters and much more....all without asking, it all just showed up at our door.

I think that there can be seasons in our faith also. There are times when I can't read enough scripture, when it seems easy to continue in prayer all day and when God's will seems crystal clear to me. There are also times when I read the same verse several times because I can't focus and have no idea what I read. Times when I can't form the words to pray and when I am just confused about what His will might be. And, plenty of times when I am between these two extremes. I am thankful, that God gives us something to hold onto in every season. He never leaves us....He always loves us, when we look him square in the face and smile or when we think we can do it all on our own.

No matter what season you are in right now....in climate, in life, and in your faith....I pray that you will take time to enjoy the season and look for the blessings that God is sending your way.

Stirring Up Anger

Our oldest daughter and I were riding home together from an event the other day when I asked her, "If you could write about anything on this blog, what would you write about?" She thought for a few moments and responded, "I would talk about how it is ok to discipline, but parents need to know when to stop. Some parents just seem to go on and on." I asked a few questions to make sure I understood what she meant.

She helps teach small children at dance and church on a regular basis. She has noticed that some parents don't just say something to their children, but that they continue to speak harshly until the child cries or gets mad. "I don't understand that," she said, "most of the time they just need a gentle reminder to refocus on what they are doing." I reminded her that she might have missed the 10 times the parent did speak kindly and that she might not know the whole story (as I want her respecting all adults), but I told her she was right. Her comments reminded me of something I had read earlier in Proverbs 15.

A gentle answer turns away wrath,

    but a harsh word stirs up anger.

When I read this verse I was honestly thinking about myself and how I need to be more deliberate to give a gentle response to my children. So often they are the recipient of a harsh word because I have become frustrated with something else, the computer, dinner prep, the dog or whatever seems to be going wrong at the time. My harsh words usually make the situation worse and something that was a simple situation is now a full blown argument. 

I have also noticed that this is a verse that my children need to learn. They often speak to each other harshly when something isn't going their way. Many times it is a simple misunderstanding that could be fixed with phrases like...."I didn't know you were using this" or "I need to get this done first, can you please wait."

This week is almost over, but I think this verse will be our focus for the next few days. I can only imagine what might be possible if we can learn to answer gently and not turn up anger. 

Learning At A Step Stool

There is a small step stool in our kitchen to help our younger children reach items that they need. This stool has now become one of our 10 month old's favorite items. The other night an interesting exchange happened at the stool between our son and my husband. Let me invite you into our kitchen to experience it for yourself.

My husband and I were chatting about the day around the kitchen island. Our little one came crawling into the kitchen from the other room. He looked at his father, giggled and then crawled right past him to the step stool. As his little hand touched the bottom of the stool he glanced my way and smiled. He pulled himself up so that he was standing in front of the stool using the top platform as his stabilizer. He turned his head and looked at each of us. Then, he lifted his right foot and placed his shin on the lowest step of the stool. "No, no little man, " my husband says. Without looking back at his father, he puts his foot back on the ground. About two seconds later the scene repeats, each time our infant takes longer to put his foot back on the ground. At one point I could almost visually see our little guy thinking about whether he would obey his father or continue to climb the step stool. After about 4 minutes of boundary testing, the little man finally leaves the stool and heads to empty a cupboard.

As I was watching this exchange between father and son, I couldn't help but see the parallel between me and my Heavenly Father. How many times do I crawl toward something I want, something I know is fun; but my Father in heaven is calling from behind me..."no, no little girl?" Although I know that God has the best plan for my life and that He loves me more than any earthly parent ever could, I still desire to go my own way. How often do I keep my hand on the "step stool?" Why do I take so long to heed the warnings of my Father?

When we are close to a situation it is often difficult for us to see the big picture. Our son only sees a fun stool to climb on and play with. He doesn't see how his fingers could get pinched or how he could hit his head after falling. Our teen only sees that "all" of their friends are attending the event on Friday. They don't see the scars and hurt that attending such an event will leave on their heart and mind. Sometimes even I only see what I want to see and don't see the loving protection that God has provided for me. Sometimes.....I forget, and think that I know what is best for me. Sometimes...we all need to remember that just as my husband loves our son and gives him gentle reminders to keep him safe; God loves each one of us and He too sends us gentle reminders when we are heading in unsafe directions. The question now becomes, "Will we listen?"

A Fortress

I was reading Proverbs 14 the other day and verse 26 seemed to jump off the page at me. Here is what it says: 

He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress,

    and for his children it will be a refuge.

The verse made me wonder if we were building a fortress for the children He has given us. How can we do a better job at helping our children "fear" the Lord? 

To begin thinking of this verse, I need to remember that the Bible's use of the word fear does not mean to be afraid of. Instead the word refers more to a reverence of and seeking His wisdom. God is all powerful and sovereign, and Proverbs tells us that He is the foundation for learning and growing. So, it is important for our children to be reading and memorizing His Word. We can do this as a family or they can do it individually....this is something that our family needs to be better at. 

When I think of a fortress, I think of a big castle with high walls and a deep mote around it for protection. Our home is certainly not anything like that physically, however it can be like a fortress in how we use it. Our home can protect our children from visual images that scar and scare by closely monitoring media we use. We can also be selective about the activities we focus on in our home. Let's emphasize the things that will strengthen our family and make our home a place where the children want to be and bring all their friends. I would love to have a home that is a refuge for all the children, what about you?

I know that our children need to learn to thrive in this world, that they need to be able to share their faith and make good choices when faced with temptations. We desire to have children that shine when they are out in the world. However, when they are at home....my desire will be for them to relax in a secure fortress, growing in God's love and taking refuge in the shelter He has given. Have you built a fortress where you live? Ours is certainly still under construction! 

What Are We Waiting For?

I will admit, that I had a completely different post ready for today, but it will need to wait. Last night, my husband was telling me about a singer he had read about. She had taken her own life. A month earlier her boyfriend had taken his own life. Now, their 10 month old child has no parents. My heart is breaking. The situation has consumed my thoughts for hours.

I am currently holding our ten month old in my arms. I cannot imagine my days without his smile, more importantly I can't imagine his days without mine. When I think about that young child growing up with little or no memories of his parents my heart starts to break. However, when I think about this young child grown and thinking that these tragedies are somehow his fault...I can't help but cry. I have already started praying for this young babe and his future.

Okay, I can hear you saying..."that is terrible, but bad things happen every day. What is your point?" My point is, what are we waiting for? We know that Christ has freed us from bondage, given us Joy and comforts us with His unconditional love. Why are "we" (all Christians) so reluctant to share this news with the world around us. Why do so many of us simply go about our day, raising our own orchard, and not really caring about those around us that are so desperately lost? I am including myself, why don't I reach out to the hurting world around me more? What am I waiting for? How many more people need to die? How many more babes need to be orphaned?

I know there is very little that I can do to help this young babe right now. However, I also know that I can become more aware of the needs in my community. I can become more deliberate about teaching our children to have a compassionate heart towards the hurting and lost that we see everyday. I can help my children understand that there are real people in real pain and that we can help them by sharing God's amazing love and what God has done in our lives.

So today, I am going to strive to go beyond our "normal," and stop waiting for someone else to share Christ with those around us. I hope and pray that you will join me. We live in a dying world, let us stop waiting and start sharing.

Joy In The Little Things

There are days, like today, when I am dragging. I seem to have no energy and everything seems to "push my buttons." Maybe it is because yesterday was too overpacked with obligations. Or, maybe it is because little ones woke me several times in the night. It could also be because a cold is starting to catch me. Whatever the reason, or maybe it is all of them combined, today is starting out as a rough day. Do you ever have days like that?

When the day seems to be getting the best of me, I need to be even more careful that my tongue is building up and not destroying....that my children are not the target of my crabbiness. How? I try to focus on the Joy of the little things. The Bible says "the Joy of the Lord is my strength." I hold tight to this promise and look for the Joy.

Here is some of the Joy that has blessed me today, I hope it blesses you as well:
-the smile of an infant as he seems to say, "look at me mom, I did it."
-the long hug of a sleepy early riser
-an encouraging email/comment from a friend
-kiddos quietly reading their devotion
-siblings helping each other
-a beautiful blue sky filled with sunlight
-the vase of homemade flowers
-an open mouth, face swallowing kiss from a 10 month old

Today, although I am tired and feeling a bit out of sorts...my children deserve my best. So instead of focusing on how tired I am and how much work still needs to be done, I am going to try and focus on the Joy the Lord has given me. Finding Joy in the little things will help me make it through this day, I pray that it helps you as well.

Hug Therapy

I truly enjoy watching other parents with their children. I love watching how they play together, how they communicate with each other and even how they handle tough situations. I have learned a great deal about what I want to do and what I do not want to do, by watching others. The situation I share with you today happened before we even had any children.....but it was such a powerful situation that it is still a vivid memory for me today. I hope it blesses your family as it has blessed mine!

Many years ago I was a classroom teacher at a Christian school. I was attending a school basketball game and saw a parent I wanted to connect with. The parent and I were chatting and discussing some issues I had seen with one of her children lately. As our conversation continued for several minutes, her children would approach now and then to ask a question or share a statement. But, one child decided that he didn't have a question or statement, he just wanted to stay with us. It was fine at first, he sat nicely on the bleachers watching the game. That was short-lived however, as soon he began to climb and crawl all around us. There was a point where he appeared to be scaling his mother. It had become quite distracting and difficult to continue our conversation. Then it happened. Without interrupting our conversation, she lovingly grabbed the child, set him on her lap and squeezed. She was hugging him. At first his squirming continued under her hug, but then...right before my eyes the child just seemed to melt. He fell full long into her embrace and rested in her arms. After a minute or two of her embrace, he disappeared, seemingly ready to conquer the world.

This situation still amazes me. All the child needed to regain his self-control and head back into "the world" was the loving embrace of his mother. She could have given a lecture....he was interrupting and not sitting like he should. She could have given a time-out....he certainly needed to work on his self-control. She could have stopped our conversation....it was becoming more social anyway. But, she knew that a loving embrace would restore things to the way they were.

I like to call this hug therapy. I wish I remembered to use it more often. Today, I am challenging myself to focus on the touch that we all so desperately need. It doesn't always need to be a hug, I have learned that rubbing my child's back or lovingly holding and caressing their hand, works also (especially when they are "too old" for hugs). It is a scientific fact that we all need to experience human touch, I hope you will join me in making touch an important part of your child's everyday.

It's Lent, Now What?

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent .....now what? Lent is a 6 1/2 week period before Easter and the celebration of our Lord's resurrection. It is a time for us to focus on the amazing sacrifice that Christ has made for each and every one of us. To help us remember Christ's sacrifice and walk, it is customary for people to "give up" something for Lent. Typically people give up indulgences like sweets, caffeine, or TV. If you are going to choose to give something up for Lent, it should be something that you are going to notice, something that might be a struggle to give up for 6 1/2 weeks. This can be a difficult concept for adults, much less children....let me give you a peak into how the Lenten discussion typically goes in our home.

Me: "So, what have you decided to give up for Lent?"
Child: "I was thinking about giving up homework, or maybe I will give up doing chores."
Me: "Nice try, but that isn't really going to be a sacrifice on your part, you want to give those things up."
Child: "Ok, I'll think about it some more."

When it is all said and done our children usually find something noticeable, but not to challenging to do without. Things like...watching a certain tv show, playing a particular computer game, or a specific type of sweet. They have also tried to give up certain behaviors....not saying a certain word, being kind to a certain person, not waiting to be asked to do something they know needs to be done and just doing it.

So what is the point? Well, in our family giving up something for Lent can challenge us in many ways. It helps us to see that we have "extra" things in our life that we can truly do without. It helps us remember that our life is not our own, and that we should be focused on what God's plan is for us everyday. It helps us practice our self-control. Lent also helps us to build memories as a family, as it seems many remember what you gave up the year before and the "funny" instance that occurred when you forgot.

In recent years, there has been a movement to add something to your life instead of giving something up. People I know have added: reading a devotion, a weekly service project, collecting their change for a certain mission, or an activity with their family. I think this is a great idea, however, I still look at it as giving something up because you are giving up the time you used for something else....semantics.

So whether you choose to give something up or add something or change nothing at all, let me encourage you to remember the sacrifice Christ has made for all of us. Christ, who had no sin, died to take away our sin. Christ, who was blameless, died to take our blame. Christ, who had a perfect relationship with God the Father, left Him and came to earth to provide a way for us to have a relationship with Him. Without Christ and His sacrifice, my days would be meaningless.

Just Blame Me

The many years I spent as a teacher and youth leader gave me the opportunity to connect with numerous families. I have learned a lot from talking with other parents and observing how they interact with their children. One of the most valuable things I learned was the concept of letting my children blame me. When my children our faced with difficult situations I am happy to be their way out. Please, let me explain.....

I was listening to a mother speak about how she helps her teenage son navigate through these tough years. She talked about peer pressure and tough choices that her son is faced with...drug, sex, drinking. Then she said, "I do not care if my son's friends like me. My job is to help my son through this difficult time." I was interested in how she did this and she gave two main things that she does.

First, because she is not interested in being friends with her son's friends she can be "the bad guy." She established rules that she knew would keep him safe. Rules like not riding in cars with multiple teenagers, not going to someone's home without prior permission and a curfew for both school and non-school nights. It was easier for her son to avoid what he knew would be compromising situations by simply saying, "My mom is expecting me," or "My mom is on her way." She talked about how it was more important for her son to feel safe than for her to be popular with the high school crowd.

Second, they developed a phrase that made it easier for her son to resist harmful situations. If a friend was asking him to do something or go somewhere, they had two different ways of asking for permission. If he truly wanted to go to this event and he felt it was safe and appropriate, he would say something like, "Mom, can I please go to (fill in the blank)." However, if he felt that going to this event was not the best idea and might be unsafe, he would say something like, "Mom, I can't go to (fill in the blank), right? Didn't you say we had something planned?" To which the mom would reply something like, "No, I'm sorry but we do have plans so you won't be able to go."

I honestly think that this is a brilliant idea! I love the fact that my child is making the tough choices and that I have equipped them with the tools to face many situations. I love that my child is learning that their friends aren't the most important influence in their lives. I know that they will not be able to blame me their whole life, but for now, I am happy to take the blame. I am happy to provide a way for my child to succeed as they build up the confidence they need to be strong on their own.  

Reaction or Situation

Our four year old decided that he was going to take a bath. His older sister was upstairs with him and I was making dinner. It had been several minutes and everything seemed to be fine. I glanced into the living room and noticed that his older sister was no longer upstairs. So, I turned my "mommy" ears on and tried to detect what might be happening in the upstairs bathroom. It seemed a bit too quiet for me. I paused our dinner preparations and headed up to see what our "little angel" was up to. When I opened the door I was met by at least a half inch of standing water covering the entire floor.(True story)

What is the next step? It has taken me several years, but I have learned that my reaction to the situation is much more important than the situation itself. Each situation, no matter how frustrating, is an opportunity to teach. I noticed that many times I was assuming that my child knew what they should have done. How could they? Had I ever taught them? Had I ever showed them how to navigate through a situation like this?

In this bathroom flood situation, it was important for me to teach my son that there is no drain in the floor like in the tub. The water has no where to go. This water will ruin the floors and could seep through to the ceiling below. It was also important for him to notice how many towels it takes to clean up and how long it takes him to clean it up. (I helped a little) If I do not teach my son these concepts, he would most likely do the exact same thing again another day.

Ok, here is the hard part. Think about when you have made a mistake....at school, at work, at home...anywhere. Now think of a time when you made a mistake and someone was truly angry with you and was yelling at you. Do you remember much of what the person said? Or, do you just remember the yelling? I can honestly tell you that all I remember is the yelling. I have no idea what people say to me when I feel scared or attacked. All I am thinking about is that I feel scared or attacked.  I have noticed that my children are the same way. They have no idea what I say when I am yelling at them. No positive teaching is taking place. In order for my children to learn from my teaching, they need to feel safe and focused on my words.

I can tell you that when I stepped into the flooded bathroom, my first reaction was not what I wanted. However, after taking a deep breathe...I apologized for my yelling reaction and started to teach. The best thing that I have learned about teaching my children to learn from their mistakes....is that they allow me to learn from mine as well. Next time your "little angel" does something to catch your negative attention, I encourage you to focus on your reaction....not just the situation, and have a teaching moment. (Blessings to you, It is much harder than it sounds ;-)

Happy With Crazy!

People ask me all the time how I manage to homeschool and raise five kiddos. My response usually has something to do with crazy days and all their energy keeps me young. Although these are kind of vague answers, they are very true. Our days are crazy, there is rarely a dull moment and no two days look the same. But, I wouldn't have it any other way!

Tonight was a classic example of enjoying the craziness. We had two other homeschooling families over for a dinner. There are 11 children when the families get together, the oldest is 12 and the youngest is 10 months. I don't know your children, but my children use their whole body when they play. They are the jumping, shouting, diving in with all they are, type of kiddos. With a few exceptions, so are the rest of the children that came this evening. I have to admit, that at some points tonight the laughter and fun was deafening. It was Crazy!

I can honestly say, I loved it! I love hearing the joyful noise that children make as they play and fellowship together. There was sledding, air hockey, nail painting, great food and young creativity. And now, the evening is continuing with a sleep over and more sleepovers being planned.

Many times during our week I ask the kids to sit still, be quiet and demonstrate their self-control. I need to remember that they are just children and that children are made to have fun and discover things through play. As long as our children can use self-control when needed, I am going to strive to be happy with crazy. Do you have a little crazy in your life?

Bored or Enjoying the Ride?

Earlier this week during our small group bible study discussion, my husband stated that he hears people say that Christianity is boring. He then stated that if you think Christianity is boring, then you're not doing it right. He believes that following Christ is the greatest adventure...."we need to hold on tight and try to enjoy the ride."

Let me try to explain a little: My husband is one of those people who get anxious about very little. (It can be a bit annoying at times ;-) He finds it very easy to trust God fully and take risks that the rest of us (ok, at least me) think twice about.Therefore, our lives our quite an adventure as we are constantly evaluating our circumstances and making sure that we are where God wants us to be. We have moved to a new state with no where to live, quit a perfectly good job with nothing else lined up and let God determine how many children we have. Our lives are an adventure, and I definitely need to "hold on tight" to enjoy this ride that God is taking us on.

Now I realize that this type of roller coaster life isn't for everyone. I believe the greater point here is that we should enjoy our faith. The JOY of the Lord should fill our days and our lives. I see too many people walking around the church looking like they just sucked on a lemon. What ever happened to "The Joy of the Lord is my strength" (Nehemiah 8:10).

OK, so who really cares if we are bored with our faith or enjoying the ride? ......I would have to say that our kids care. They are watching us. They are watching to see if we are bored. They are watching to see if we are enjoying the ride. They are not only watching but they are learning, they are imitating, and they are preparing for their future.

Let us strive to help our children see the Joy we have in the Lord. When stress is high or frustration sets in, may the Joy of the Lord truly be our strength. I challenge you to share your joy and enjoy the ride!

Goal Setting

It seems that setting goals is very popular these days. All three of our girls have needed to set goals for at least one of their school assignments. So, I have been thinking about goals I would set for our family. Here are some ideas I have....

Passionate about Christ....I have a deep desire for our children to be passionate about Christ and what He has done for their life. That they might not only have saving faith, but that they live that faith out everyday.

Following God's Best Plan.....I want our children to follow God's plan for their lives. I don't want them to go to college unless that is God's plan. I don't want them to be full-time missionaries, unless it is God's plan. I don't want them to get married, unless it is God's plan. (Confession: This goal is difficult for me, as I have plenty of plans and ideas of my own....but I need to remember that God's plans are greater than mine and that He truly knows what is best for each one of our children. After all, He created them with His plan in mind.)

A Servant's Heart.... All of us in America have been blessed with so much. I hope that our children will see that we don't need great wealth to help others. We make serving a regular part of our lives and my prayer is  that our desire to serve others will help our children grow to "see" the needs around them and develop a heart for others.

I think that setting goals for our family will help me decide what activities should stay on our overstuffed calendar. These goals also help me remember what is truly important in our day to day adventures. They can be a good reminder to me of what I am trying to accomplish each day.

What goals have you set or would you set for your family? Why? I would love to hear your ideas. Let's encourage one another in the goals we have for our families.

What Are The Complaints Saying?

"All you do is complain!"

These are the words that our oldest daughter said to me when we were driving home the other night. Ouch! I have been thinking about that statement ever since.  These are certainly not words I want my daughter to use to describe me. Here's the situation:

Our daughter is gifted (every mom knows that their daughter is gifted), and I of course want the best for her. She was at an activity this week and I arrived a bit early for pick-up to see how things were going. As I watched her, I noticed that she wasn't doing as well as she had done in previous years. Or, at least that was my parental opinion. When we got to the car, I asked her about the evening and how she felt things were progressing. After she had shared her thought I shared mine. I informed her that I didn't think she was trying her best and that her instructor was not pushing her to do her best. (but I used more words) I didn't think I was complaining, I thought I was showing her that I want the best for her. Obviously that is not what she heard.

When reflecting on the situation I can see that my high expectations for her are blocking me from cherishing her feelings. She likes her instructor. She likes where she participates in this activity. There is nothing immoral happening. My complaining/over correcting is making her feel like her choices are not good enough, that she is not good enough...... That makes me wonder how often I am "telling" my children that they are not good enough. I think it is important for them to always do their best, so how can I make sure "doing your best" doesn't turn into "you're not good enough?"

So, this week I am going to try to keep my complaints to myself. I am going to strive to focus my thoughts and curb my words to reflect what I am really trying to say. "I love you, I want the best for you." I am going to try to allow my child to lead me in these types of conversations by asking questions. "What do you think we can do to improve this situation?" "How can I help you to do your best?"

Although, I feel it is important for our children to know that they are sinners and fall short everyday. I also want them to know that they are great gifts, made in His image and are loved just the way they are. They are "good enough" for me! So, if you hear me complaining, please give me a gentle reminder of my new goal.

Faith Builders

We have chosen to raise our children to look at situations as blessings from God. Even what seems like a bad situation can be turned into a great lesson or an amazing opportunity for God’s love to shine. I think this helps a child to develop a faith of their own. It is important to point out the amazing ways that God is working in their lives. Be sure to be watching for little faith builders as they can be easily missed. I define Faith builders as situations where God takes the time to show a youngster that He cares even about their smallest needs and most of their wants. Here is an example of a faith builder that our family cherishes from a few years back.

James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of above

Our church was having a community Easter Egg Hunt a few years back. Our family volunteered to help stuff candy into eggs. (eight thousand eggs) Imagine tables overflowing with candy and boxes of empty eggs to be filled. Things were going fine. Lots of volunteers stuffing eggs, good fellowship, and big smiles. However, it seemed that every five minutes or so our 7 year old daughter would ask me for a piece of candy. The response was always “no,” but that didn’t stop her from asking again and again. We are almost finished with our task when she finds a butterscotch candy. She is now begging for this piece of candy. The answer was still “no.” She begins to cry and starts to have a “melt down.” I stop her and remind her that God asks her to honor her parents by listening to them; when she honors her parents she is honoring God; when she makes the choice to honor God, He will bless her. I tell her she needs to listen to me now and trust that God will bless her in the future. (I secretly begin praying immediately that she would find an egg with a butterscotch in it at the hunt.) She calms down, listens, composes herself and we finish the evening.  Life continues. Three days later we are at a scouting event. At this event there is a guessing game, you know the kind: there’s a jar filled to the brim with something and all the kids write their guesses on a piece of paper. The person who guesses the closest number gets to keep the jar and whatever is in it. Well, our 7 year old won the guessing contest. She won an entire jar of, you guessed it, butterscotch candy. She won 64 pieces of butterscotch candy. I believe that God gave her 64 pieces of butterscotch candy to build her faith and show her that He loves her. Wow, that He would care enough about her to bless her so!

As we go through this week, let's look for the faith builders God is giving us. I would love to hear about your experiences, please feel free to share them. Have fun watching Him work! 

You Are Beautiful

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14


This is one of my favorite verses. I honestly think I must quote this verse at least once a month. Why is it so challenging for us to believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made? 


We have three daughters. They are your typically girls...they like to dress up, get their hair done and paint each others nails. However, they are also athletes, thespians, and musicians. This means we here the words, "look at me," quite a bit.


I started to really dislike that phrase. I wanted to raise daughters that were confident and independent, not girls that were continually looking for outside approval. It was about that point when I started quoting this verse. I wanted all of our children to know that they were fearfully and wonderfully made, and that they were wonderful whether I was looking or not.


About the same time we developed a saying in our home, "You are beautiful because God made you that way, not because of what you wear or what you do." We had decided that we wanted our children to know that their beauty comes from their love for Christ and an awesome creator. 


I think we all need to hear those words..."You are beautiful because God made you that way!" It doesn't matter if the flu is filling your home, You Are Beautiful. It doesn't matter if a newborn is providing you with endless sleepless nights, You Are Beautiful. No matter what your circumstances, please remember that You are Beautiful...our amazing creator loves you and has made You Beautiful.