Reaction or Situation

Our four year old decided that he was going to take a bath. His older sister was upstairs with him and I was making dinner. It had been several minutes and everything seemed to be fine. I glanced into the living room and noticed that his older sister was no longer upstairs. So, I turned my "mommy" ears on and tried to detect what might be happening in the upstairs bathroom. It seemed a bit too quiet for me. I paused our dinner preparations and headed up to see what our "little angel" was up to. When I opened the door I was met by at least a half inch of standing water covering the entire floor.(True story)

What is the next step? It has taken me several years, but I have learned that my reaction to the situation is much more important than the situation itself. Each situation, no matter how frustrating, is an opportunity to teach. I noticed that many times I was assuming that my child knew what they should have done. How could they? Had I ever taught them? Had I ever showed them how to navigate through a situation like this?

In this bathroom flood situation, it was important for me to teach my son that there is no drain in the floor like in the tub. The water has no where to go. This water will ruin the floors and could seep through to the ceiling below. It was also important for him to notice how many towels it takes to clean up and how long it takes him to clean it up. (I helped a little) If I do not teach my son these concepts, he would most likely do the exact same thing again another day.

Ok, here is the hard part. Think about when you have made a mistake....at school, at work, at home...anywhere. Now think of a time when you made a mistake and someone was truly angry with you and was yelling at you. Do you remember much of what the person said? Or, do you just remember the yelling? I can honestly tell you that all I remember is the yelling. I have no idea what people say to me when I feel scared or attacked. All I am thinking about is that I feel scared or attacked.  I have noticed that my children are the same way. They have no idea what I say when I am yelling at them. No positive teaching is taking place. In order for my children to learn from my teaching, they need to feel safe and focused on my words.

I can tell you that when I stepped into the flooded bathroom, my first reaction was not what I wanted. However, after taking a deep breathe...I apologized for my yelling reaction and started to teach. The best thing that I have learned about teaching my children to learn from their mistakes....is that they allow me to learn from mine as well. Next time your "little angel" does something to catch your negative attention, I encourage you to focus on your reaction....not just the situation, and have a teaching moment. (Blessings to you, It is much harder than it sounds ;-)