Stirring Up Anger

Our oldest daughter and I were riding home together from an event the other day when I asked her, "If you could write about anything on this blog, what would you write about?" She thought for a few moments and responded, "I would talk about how it is ok to discipline, but parents need to know when to stop. Some parents just seem to go on and on." I asked a few questions to make sure I understood what she meant.

She helps teach small children at dance and church on a regular basis. She has noticed that some parents don't just say something to their children, but that they continue to speak harshly until the child cries or gets mad. "I don't understand that," she said, "most of the time they just need a gentle reminder to refocus on what they are doing." I reminded her that she might have missed the 10 times the parent did speak kindly and that she might not know the whole story (as I want her respecting all adults), but I told her she was right. Her comments reminded me of something I had read earlier in Proverbs 15.

A gentle answer turns away wrath,

    but a harsh word stirs up anger.

When I read this verse I was honestly thinking about myself and how I need to be more deliberate to give a gentle response to my children. So often they are the recipient of a harsh word because I have become frustrated with something else, the computer, dinner prep, the dog or whatever seems to be going wrong at the time. My harsh words usually make the situation worse and something that was a simple situation is now a full blown argument. 

I have also noticed that this is a verse that my children need to learn. They often speak to each other harshly when something isn't going their way. Many times it is a simple misunderstanding that could be fixed with phrases like...."I didn't know you were using this" or "I need to get this done first, can you please wait."

This week is almost over, but I think this verse will be our focus for the next few days. I can only imagine what might be possible if we can learn to answer gently and not turn up anger.