Hug Therapy

I truly enjoy watching other parents with their children. I love watching how they play together, how they communicate with each other and even how they handle tough situations. I have learned a great deal about what I want to do and what I do not want to do, by watching others. The situation I share with you today happened before we even had any children.....but it was such a powerful situation that it is still a vivid memory for me today. I hope it blesses your family as it has blessed mine!

Many years ago I was a classroom teacher at a Christian school. I was attending a school basketball game and saw a parent I wanted to connect with. The parent and I were chatting and discussing some issues I had seen with one of her children lately. As our conversation continued for several minutes, her children would approach now and then to ask a question or share a statement. But, one child decided that he didn't have a question or statement, he just wanted to stay with us. It was fine at first, he sat nicely on the bleachers watching the game. That was short-lived however, as soon he began to climb and crawl all around us. There was a point where he appeared to be scaling his mother. It had become quite distracting and difficult to continue our conversation. Then it happened. Without interrupting our conversation, she lovingly grabbed the child, set him on her lap and squeezed. She was hugging him. At first his squirming continued under her hug, but then...right before my eyes the child just seemed to melt. He fell full long into her embrace and rested in her arms. After a minute or two of her embrace, he disappeared, seemingly ready to conquer the world.

This situation still amazes me. All the child needed to regain his self-control and head back into "the world" was the loving embrace of his mother. She could have given a lecture....he was interrupting and not sitting like he should. She could have given a time-out....he certainly needed to work on his self-control. She could have stopped our conversation....it was becoming more social anyway. But, she knew that a loving embrace would restore things to the way they were.

I like to call this hug therapy. I wish I remembered to use it more often. Today, I am challenging myself to focus on the touch that we all so desperately need. It doesn't always need to be a hug, I have learned that rubbing my child's back or lovingly holding and caressing their hand, works also (especially when they are "too old" for hugs). It is a scientific fact that we all need to experience human touch, I hope you will join me in making touch an important part of your child's everyday.