More Than We Can Handle

A few weeks back there was an article floating around the social media networks that talked about the "fuzzy" Christian phrases that are often used. The article spoke of the phrases that Christians often use when ministering to others. You know: "let go and let God;" "prayer changes things;" "whenever God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window;" "God never gives you more than you can handle;" and so forth. Why I completely agree that these phrases can not be used with, nor do they have any meaning for non-Christians, the contents of the article has been bothering me for weeks.

The phrase "God never gives you more than you can handle," took a beating in this article. The author talked about the phrase very negatively, claimed it had no biblical merit and how insulting it is for those that are suffering. Again, for someone without a personal relationship with Christ, this phrase makes no sense. It almost sounds like God is torturing His followers....never pushing them too far past their breaking point.  I don't know about you, but I would probably run far away from a God I thought was torturing His followers. However, because of my faith in Christ, I believe and support this phrase as one that challenges me and comforts me during my journey on this earth.

First, let's look at the Bible for a moment:

  Job 42:2 "I know you can do all things; no purpose of yours will be thwarted."
  Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
  Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."
  Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
  Ecc. 11:5 "As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in the mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."
  Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
  Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him that is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us,"

These are just a few verses that I could recall quickly to support my opinion, but all of them seem to be telling us that God is not going to give us more than He will help us handle. Also, in all my reading of scripture over my lifetime I don't recall a single verse that states God will leave us during our hardest struggle or provide no guidance through a tough situation. Joshua 1:5 is one more verse, and it clearly states "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

I want to encourage you today to hold fast to the promises God has given to you. When our circumstances seem unbearable, may we all remember that God's ways are higher then our own. We may not be able to see what He is working on at this moment. We may only see the hurt and difficulty, but God has something greater planned for each and every one of us. Let me challenge you to put your full trust in God, in His plan and His power. Do not be fooled by those who speak against God's plan or try to limit Him by your circumstances....He loves you, knows what is best for all of us and sees a much bigger picture. It probably won't look like the picture in the magazine or on TV, but we are living for the Kingdom, not for this world.

My daughter has a friend who was killed about two years ago. I would never presume to know how her mother feels or the pain that she goes through on a regular basis. But I do know that her mother is allowing God to work through these circumstances and she is being used to change lives. Her daughter's organs have helped at least six people and her daughter's foundation has blessed hundreds. She may never wake in the morning and not long for her daughter, but she is not defeated. She is allowing God's strength, peace and compassion guide her on this new journey He has laid in front of her....holding fast to the knowledge that God will never leave her nor forsake her.

I hope you will join me in firmly believing and trusting that God will not give us more than we can handle!

Great Tradition

As I write this entry, we are in the middle of the Christmas season. A great time to celebrate the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ. However, it often becomes a season of crazy calendars and "to do" lists. In our home there never seems to be a shortage of concerts, programs and events we need to attend and/or prepare for. It is very easy to loose sight of why we are celebrating in the first place. My husband and I have tried to develop some traditions to help us make sure that our family remembers the true reason we have Christmas. I am going to share some of those traditions with you today, if your family doesn't have any traditions, I hope one or two of them inspire you to start something your children will remember when they are grown and have their own families.

Our family traditions begin the Sunday after Thanksgiving with the putting up and decorating of the Christmas tree. It is a great afternoon of hanging lights and ornaments, topped with the addition of the family angel. Each child has their own sack of ornaments that they have or that have been given to them. They each get a chance to put their ornaments on our family tree, a new adventure each year as we rediscover the ornaments in our sacks. 

Family devotions during the month of December come from the book "The Advent Jesse Tree" by Dean Meador Lambert. It is a great resource. Each night the children take turns adding an ornament to our Jesse Tree. Every ornament helps us remember something about Christ and the wonderful gift He is to all of us. When all the ornaments are on the tree, Christmas has arrived!

December 6th is a fun day in our home. That is the day that we remember a gentlemen named St. Nicholas. He would put small gifts in the shoes of young children in his community. Our kiddos will put their shoes outside their bedroom doors and I will fill them with little trinkets and goodies for them to enjoy in the morning. Although this is a very fun activity, it is also one that reminds us that there are many people in our community that have needs that aren't being met, and why we collect hats, gloves and other items to share with them. 

The last couple traditions we have are baking cookie packages for each of our neighbors, going to Worship on Christmas Eve, pancakes on Christmas morning with fruit and whipping cream and giving each child three presents (just as Jesus received 3 gifts). Although none of these traditions are extravagant, they are all things that our children look forward to each year and things that help us remember why we are celebrating in the first place.

No matter how your family celebrates this Christmas, I pray that your home is filled with the Love and Joy of Christ. May each day of this busy season provide you an opportunity to stop and share great traditions with your family and friends. For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given!  

Holding Strong

The past few weeks have found my husband and I trying to explain convictions. I am not sure if you have ventured down this road with your children, but it has not been the easiest road for us to travel. It seems that as our children age they truly want to understand why we choose to do the things we do. This is a wonderful stage, but it is not always easy for me to explain.

When you check with dictionary.com, it states that "conviction" is the state of being convinced and/or  a fixed or firm belief. The choices that my husband and I make for our family, and I assume the choices you make for your family are based on "convictions," or beliefs. You believe in investing in your child and guiding them as they grow.

Most of the convictions that my husband and I are basing our decisions on are from our study of the Bible. When we read the scriptures, spend time in prayer or participate in a Bible Study, there are often times when is seems the Spirit is giving us a clear direction that He would like for our family to take.

As our children spend more time with friends and in activities they have more questions. Why do we only listen to Christian music? Why aren't we allowed to watch THAT television show? Why do we celebrate this holiday, but not that one? Why can't I go to this or that party? For we all know that "everybody else is" able to do whatever it is we are not allowing.

No family is going to be the same. Even if we go to the same church, live in the same neighborhood and use the same curriculum. Each of us have our own convictions and our own ideas of what is best for our children. What might work well for your family, might not work well for any other family.

These are God's children and we will need to answer for our choices....I believe that it was God's plan to give us the exact children that we have. He knew that each child would help us grow as parents and Christians, and that they would influence each other's walk in the best way to strengthen each of our children's faith. Each and everyday He calls me to be the best parent I can be and point my children to a lifelong relationship with Him. It is not my responsibility to parent every child in the neighborhood, at our church or on my daughter's team. However, it is my responsibility to make the best choices for our children. I don't know why I have a strong conviction to raise our children one way and you have a strong conviction to do something different, all I know is that it is important to do what you feel God is calling you to. He truly knows best! He knows each family and the different things that make them unique and stronger.

This idea of conviction and trying to follow God's will is not always easy for us to explain to our kiddos, but it is still very important. It is hard sometimes for our children to see their friends acting in ways that they cannot, but when I remember our goals for their lives, our most important goal is to help them develop a lasting faith and relationship with Jesus, I know a short time of disappointment is necessary and of little consequence when compared to an eternity with Christ.

I don't expect these days of questioning to end anytime soon. Let us encourage one another as we hold strong to the convictions God has laid on our hearts. Be strong and courageous, for the Lord will be with us where ever we go! (especially on this rocky path of parenting)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Greetings to all my readers! Today in the United States we are celebrating a holiday called Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was first suggested as a holiday from President George Washington, but it didn't become a annual national holiday until 1863 and President Lincoln's proclamation. I hadn't read the Thanksgiving Day proclamation from President Lincoln before this week. It is a great speech and is very thought provoking. Here is an excerpt:

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American people. I do, therefore, invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a Day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that, while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation, and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union.

This speech came when our country was in the middle of a civil war. A very violent and horrible time in our history, and yet we had things to be thankful for.

I am amazed by how openly Lincoln spoke about God's amazing blessings. I pray that more of us would have the courage to speak opening about the many blessings that God has given us. Thankfulness is contagious, and us sharing our thankfulness might be all it takes to help someone redirect their focus.

May this day have your family celebrating your blessings (we don't need a national holiday to celebrate) and may you take time each day to help your children gives thanks....even in the hard times.

I pray that God's abundant blessings are evident in your home today and always! Happy Thanksgiving!

Loving Them Into Adulthood

I have been given a heart for kids, no really, I love kids. They don't have to be mine, I still love them and want to encourage them. I am that annoying person at the store talking to your children, we're having a full conversation and before you know it they will be inviting me over for dinner. :-) I am always noticing kids, watching them and thinking about them.....and I mean ALWAYS. It is a blessing most of the time, but it can also get me in trouble.

Something I have noticed recently is a large number of parents doing things for their children and/or taking responsibility for things their children are responsible for. I agree 100% with the understanding that we are only going to have our little ones for a short time. They will be grown before we know it and we will no longer have small footsteps to listen to. However, I don't think we should encourage our children to stop growing up and stay little just because they are "so cute." One of our primary jobs as parents is to prepare our children to do things on their own....we need to prepare them to live on their own and grow into responsible adults that can start their own healthy, loving family.

I find encouraging my children to "grow up" challenging sometimes. For example: when our son says "peas" instead of "please," it is very cute and does it really hurt anyone? well, yes, it actually hurts him and his natural speech development patterns; when our daughter works incredibly hard for something and is not able to achieve her goal, I don't want her to see the pains of growing up, I want to protect her and tell her everything is going to be ok; when someone leaves their "important item" they need at home, it is tough to decide whether to bale them out or let them learn more about responsibility. These are just some of the times when I want to ignore the opportunity I have the help our children grow and just keep them small, I want to put aside my responsibility to help them become the best person they can be and just hold them tight in my arms.

Recently I heard on the radio that the age of adolescence is now being defined as age 13-27. The speaker went on to explain how parents need to give their children more responsibility to help them make the journey from childhood to adulthood. I was floored. I still cannot believe that children are not leaving the adolescence stage until 27 years of age. What are they doing for over a decade in adolescence? That just seems crazy to me.

It is great to hold our kiddos tight in our arms, and I know without a doubt that an empty nest is hard and scary.... but is our holding them back helping THEM or is it just making US feel better? Watching our kiddos as they fail and correcting them when they make mistakes are difficult tasks, but in the end, our children will be stronger, more prepared adults because we loved them enough to teach them how to grow-up.

Let me encourage you today to take a new look at your relationship with your child. Are you making the tough choices and loving them into adulthood? Or, are you holding on a bit too tight? The transition might be a difficult one, but when your 24 year old is living on their own and not stuck in adolescence, you can look back and declare that it was worth it! You loved your children enough to love them into adults!

Giving Thanks For All Things

It is November, so many of the social media sites have people who are writing a different thing each day that they are thankful for. They write things like they are thankful for family, thankful for shelter, thankful for friends and thankful for specific things going on in their lives. I think it is great and have done it often myself.

Yesterday, I had the privilege of leading Children's Church at our congregation. The lesson happened to be on praying about everything. For one of the activities we took the alphabet and wrote down things we could pray to God about. The letter "A" paper looked like this: Anger, Apples, Animals, Adoration, Attitude, Aunts and America. We wanted to pray both for things we are thankful for and for items we need help with. I really liked this activity. It was great to see all the ideas the children could come up with for each letter.

After thinking about these two ideas, giving thanks each day and praying through the alphabet, I thought it would be a great idea for our family to combine the two ideas. Why don't we take time each day to thank God using a different letter of the alphabet to inspire us? This should help our children to focus on all the great blessings they have and to remember exactly whom those blessings come from. Now, I realize that we are 10 days behind, but there are only 26 letters in our alphabet and  maybe on some of the more challenging letters we can double up. I am excited to give it a try!

Let me encourage you to find fun, simple ways to help your child remember they can talk to God about anything and praise God for everything. I wonder what your family will be thankful for? We are going to display our "Thanks Alphabet" in our hall, hopefully that will help encourage others to give thanks for all things. Have a great day thank God!

Changing A Life

Have you ever watched a show with your family when on comes a commercial that shows children or animals in very desperate situations, and they need your help? It happens occasionally in our home. I generally ignore the commercials. Our family already sponsors some children and has two pets, so I just haven't felt the need to focus on these types of campaigns. What about you?

Recently, our family has entered the "foster care" world. It has been quite an adjustment for everyone, but it has also been a huge blessing. I had no idea how much I personally would grow because of two children that six months ago were basically strangers to me. I am thankful each day for the decision we made to invite them into our family. 

Since entering this new season, our eyes have been opened to so much that is going on around us each and everyday, but we never noticed. We have met or learned about many children in the "system" that are simply looking for a little hope. These are children below grade level in school because no one has ever cared enough to help them with their homework and make sure they are in school each day. These are children that are still having potty accidents at 10 years old because no one has ever taken the time to truly potty train them. These are children that have lived in 4 or 5 different homes just this year. These are children who have no idea what they want to be when they grow-up, because they can't see past tomorrow. These are children who have been abused and/ or experienced things that we can not even imagine. These are children who just want to be loved, know that they will receive three meals a day and be able to come home to the same place each day. 

I know what you are thinking, I thought the same things. We don't have enough money at this time to help....I know about not having enough money. We don't have the room for more children.....yep, we don't either. We don't have the time to take on anything else.....I'm with you, my plate is full. What about the safety and development of our own children.....this is a huge concern, but with monitors, boundaries and open conversations everyone can be on the same page. There is only so much that a person can do....this is very true, but through Christ's strength we can do so much more. 

Today, I am writing a post different than any other. Today, I am going to ask you to think about getting involved in the lives of others. Would you consider being a foster parent? Would you think about being a "Big Brother or Big Sister?" Would you consider sponsoring a child, not just for Christmas, but every month of the year? Getting involved in the foster system is easy, just contact your local county human services department. The organization Big Brothers and Big Sisters is a wonderful place to start to reach out to kids that are struggling. They match you up with a youth and the two of you get to know each other, go on adventures together and build a relationship that could last a lifetime. There are several organization where you can sponsor a child, we use Compassion International, but we also have first hand experience with World Vision, Children International and Children's Christian Concern Society. (I am sure there are many more great ministries out there)

Let me encourage you to take time to pray about how God might be leading you to touch the life of another child. I know that it may be a huge step for you and your family, but I also know that you will be blessed. God has something amazing in store for both you and the child(ren) you are going to share your life with! I'll be praying for you, and thanks for thinking about changing a life.

Making Disciples In Our Homes

At a Bible study recently, there was some talk about Matthew 28:19...(Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you.)  This is a very familiar verse and I have heard people speak on it countless times. However, this time the conversation struck me a bit differently. In the spirit of this verse (and because we love to serve) our family has been on mission trips, sponsor children in third world countries and have given money to several ministries. But, what about the disciples in my own home? Are we doing all we can to make disciples in our homes?

After thinking about Matthew 28:19 and 20 a bit longer, I began to think that I may have lost sight of my first calling, my family. Am I truly witnessing to my family the best that I can? Or, are my weaknesses and sinful nature drowning out any witness that I have? If I am not an affective witness to my own family, how can I be a witness to those outside my home?

I know way too many families, that I would consider to be wonderful Christian families, who are now struggling with their children and the choices they are making. These children have seen the hypocrisy. They see the "church mom" or the "church dad" and they see the "real mom or dad." The youngsters that I have talked to tell me that what they experience is all an act and that they want something real. They don't want to pretend to be something they are not and they don't want to be at a church where everyone is just pretending. I think the teens have a valid point. However, I think they are mistaken about one thing...I don't think their parents are pretending, I think they are just sinners. Their parents are just working hard everyday to do what is right, but everyday they fall short. Just like the rest of us.

So this makes me think that if I am going to consciously work at making disciples in my own home, (which I know is the work of the Holy Spirit, just hang with me a minute) I need to stop the hypocrisy in my home. I believe that our kids need to know that we struggle with sin everyday, and they will struggle with sin everyday, but that doesn't keep us from going to the cross each day and asking for forgiveness. That also doesn't keep us from wanting to allow the Holy Spirit to change our lives. Just because I am a sinner, my behavior is not excused. Just because God loves me just as I am, doesn't mean He doesn't want me to grow more like Him everyday. He also loves our kids just as they are, but He wants them to grow more like Him each day also. Most importantly, just because they are my kids, doesn't mean I shouldn't ask them for forgiveness when I sin against them.

Ultimately, it IS the work of the Holy Spirit in a person's life that draws them to Christ. But as a parent, I want to be sure to have a home where the Holy Spirit is free to do it's work and not hindered by my choices. Some things we can do to help our home be a great place to "plant our orchard" are:  praying for our children; helping them memorize Bible verses; letting them see us taking personal devotion time; having family devotion time; attending worship services; serving others and I am now adding help them see through the hypocrisy, so they too know what it means to be a disciple of Christ. Wow, that is a long list!

Let me encourage us all to wake up each day knowing that God has called us to minister in our home first. May the love that we have for Christ fill our homes and capture our children as the Holy Spirit works in their lives. May we each have the courage to work through the hypocrisy, allow our children to see our failures and use them to help us all grow closer to Christ and the plans He has for us all. This is not going to be easy, God bless and give strength to each one of us as we focus on making disciples in our homes!

Birthday With A Twist

I am not sure what your home is like, but our family does not have a shortage of stuff. We are blessed to have bins of toys in the playroom, shelves filled with books in the office and closets filled with clothes in each bedroom. I often think we have too much stuff.

A few years ago we decided that birthday time was one of the times of year when we accumulated more things then we needed. We started asking that friends not bring presents for the six birthdays we have in six weeks. Instead of gifts, we ask guests to help us help others with their needs.  This year we collected hats and gloves for the county homeless program, we filled four large bags with new supplies.   We also have thought of or have collected non-perishable foods, socks for foster kiddos, and school supplies. It is great to see how everyone really embraces the idea!

We also know people who have done similar things for their birthdays. Instead of having a typical party, they take their party and go work at the food pantry or a soup kitchen. There are also organizations like "Feed My Starving Children," that have work days for birthday parties. It really is a great way to celebrate and make a difference all at the same time.

Birthdays are a special time in our home. We love celebrating a new year with our kiddos. There are special dinners, homemade cakes, presents from family and fun activities. However, we also want our children to remember how blessed they truly are. It is important for them to be thankful for their circumstances and take a moment to brighten the day of someone who may not be as blessed.

Let me encourage you to take time to celebrate the birth of each member of your family, for they are precious! Let me also encourage you to think of ways that your family can bless others, it doesn't need to be something big, any type of help is a blessing. What type of twist can you add to your birthdays this year?

Spinning Out of Control

There are days when the events, activities and situations seem to start our lives spinning out of control. Sometimes it is simply because the calendar just got too jammed with commitments, sometimes it is because of illness, sometimes it is because of a child's decision making, sometimes it is because of work and sometimes it is because of more than one of these developments.

When my days start spinning out of control there are many things that seem to fall to the side ...my personal devotion time, any personal time, individual cuddle time with each child, housework....pretty much anything that is not "screaming" for attention. I am discovering that by allowing some things to go without attention, my days can regain some calmness. However, I am also discovering that their are somethings that when not given attention, cause my days to begin spiraling even more out of control.

I remember an article that I read several years ago about how God gives me enough time each day for the items that He desires for me to complete. The key to finishing these tasks each day is doing my best to make my "to do" list, match what God has planned for me to do today. I find this idea easier said than done, but something clearly stated in scripture: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans." Proverbs 16:3

What I am learning is that not being deliberate about my devotion time, doesn't work. My devotion time is too important to skip and it is one of those items that helps keep my day from spinning. My children are also learning that my devotion time is a very important time to me, they know that interrupting this time is not wise. Only serious situations should call mom from her devotions. (Most days my devotions are complete before they awake, but sometimes there is an early riser or two)

Another commonly pushed aside area that I need to intentionally focus on, is individual contact time. On days that seem busier than any before, I must make sure to spend at least a few moments with each child. It can be as simple as rubbing their back as I look over their shoulder at their homework, eating next to them at the table or reading them a book. No matter what it is, both of us will have a better day if we are able to connect on a personal level.

Recently I posted on how my ability to juggle seven kiddos comes from the strength that Christ gives me. Since that post, the number of days that seem to overwhelm me have greatly outnumbered the "ordinary" days. (God sense of humor) I still know that my strength comes from Christ, but I also know that I am really good at committing to more than I should. I am great at establishing my plans before committing them to the Lord.

Let me encourage you to commit your plans to the Lord, to rely on Christ's strength, and to be intentional about you devotion time. There will still be days that seem to spin away from us, just hold on and remember to focus on what is truly important.

Helping Children Be Budget Minded

Fall in our home brings birthday season. We are blessed to have 6 birthdays in 6 weeks. It gets a bit crazy at times, but we do truly enjoy this season of celebration.

I am sure you can imagine how expensive this time could become when seven children are all trying to purchase birthday presents for their siblings. It can be quite the task. We have developed a system, however, that seems to work great for our family. It provides each child with the opportunity to choose a gift for each sibling and develop their money managing skills at the same time. A win-win for our whole family.

Here is what we do, if you like it, maybe you can start something similar in your home....

First, we establish a budget, it is usually $2 per child; meaning everyone gets $2 for each person's gift. (thus depending on the child they get between  $10 and $12 to spend for others) In our last community there was a church that had a ginormous rummage sale each September. We would use this event as our shopping venue, it was great. Where we live currently, our town has a community wide rummage sale during the same time frame. We are able to use this event for our shopping now a days. It is much more difficult to find items this way, so at the end of the day we head to the local thrift store to help fill in any gaps that are left.

I really enjoy this way of celebrating! It is amazing how many things a child can find for $2 or less. Each child is responsible for finding their own gifts to give (ok, I helped the 18 month old). Every child knows their budget and is able to move within their budget to fill their list. For example, if they find the "perfect" present for one of their siblings but it is $3, they know that they need to spend only $1.50 on two of their other siblings. The majority of the time, they have money left over at the end of the day. They were able to find gifts for everyone for less than their budget. No one is allowed to exceed their budget.

If a child is about to go over budget, they can suggest an item they found be purchased by someone else. This gets them all looking for great ideas for each other. There are always lots of suggestions and "look at this" being tossed about. However, the ultimate decision lands with each child. They need to be comfortable with the gift they select, comfortable with their budget and know that their sibling will truly enjoy what they purchased.

Our shopping day is one of my favorite days of the year. It brings me great joy to see everyone helping each other and truly thinking about what the other person wants. I love that they are learning to manage money and make wise choices with the resources that they have. But, most of all I love that I can give my kiddos the opportunity to bless each other. I can't wait to do it all over again next year!

This is just one thing that we do to provide our children with an opportunity to manage money. Maybe this won't work for your family, so let me encourage you to find something that will. In today's culture, people are having more money problems than in the past. It amazes me how much money people make and they still aren't able to pay their bills, or they make choices that make it very challenging to pay their bills. I don't want my children to face unnecessary financial struggles because they never learned how to manage their money. Let us all help our children to know that money is just an asset to be used wisely, not something that controls us; and that we don't need lots of money to have fun and bless others.

We Can Do All Things

At least once a week someone will say to me, "I don't know how you can do it." It seems that having seven children ages 13 and under, is more than most people can imagine. When we add homeschooling and volunteer projects to our days, most people seem to decide they would not be able to survive our everyday schedule.

When the conversation includes "I don't know how you can do it," I typically respond with something like...."it is quite an adventure" or "some days are easier than others" or "it really isn't that bad." These are all true statements, but I was not happy with the impressions I was leaving with people. It is true that many days I am exhausted and that many days fill me with great joy, but each and everyday seems to bring unique challenges of it's own.

My husband and I were at a family event recently, and it seemed that every conversation included the phrase, "I don't know how you can do it." By the time the event was over, I had decided that I needed to develop a new strategy to respond to that statement. Philippians 4:13 came to mind...."I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" and 2 Timothy 1:7..."God does not give us a Spirit to make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."

I believe many times people look at me and think...."oh, that poor girl, she is caring for 7 children; how awful that must be." I pray that I never give that impression! I may be tired sometimes, my house may not be "show" ready, but I am so blessed to have this opportunity. I truly love our family and I love all 7 of the kiddos that God has placed in our home. It is simply amazing to me to see how God works through each one of them.

I admit, there are days, like today, when I just want to crash on the couch for an hour and take a nap; (there is nothing wrong with naps) but God has a higher calling for my days right now. He has given me the awesome opportunity to impact the lives of 8 amazing people. He has blessed me with the chance to help little ones see His numerous blessings, His unending love and His marvelous plan for our lives. The time I have with them as children is so short compared with the amount of time they will be adults and on their own.

Let me encourage you to claim Philippians 4:13 and remember on your most stressful days that you can do all things with Christ's strength. I hope you will join me as I try to remember that God has given me a Spirit of power, love and self-discipline. Let's all choose to rejoice in the little things, not sweat the minor things and allow the major victories and Christ's love to refresh us each and everyday!

Doing What You're Doing

The fall weather is amazing where we live and fall is my favorite season. We love to do outside activities in the fall....bike rides, pick pumpkins and apples, campfires, jumping in leaves and so much more.

We recently transitioned from carrying the youngest two kiddos in a pull behind trailer to having one in the trailer and one sit on a tag along bike behind my husband. It is an exciting transition and a great addition to our bike rides.

 Our last bike ride has given me pause for thought. As our family is going up and down the hills in our community, my husband would yell back to our son when he should stop peddling or start peddling. At one point along the trip the little man yells back, "I'm just doing what you're doing daddy!" He continued to yell out along the trip, "I'm peddling like you now" or "I'm waiting just like you."

What great phrases! How humbling to know that our children are watching our steps and trying to copy what we do. This can be great when they copy the positive things we do. I love when I see our children  helping, praying, singing, or sharing like we have modeled. However, it can be extremely eye opening when they copy the negative things we do. When they say phrases or words maybe we shouldn't say or act in a way we would of hoped they wouldn't. These times can be embarrassing for us and confusing for our children who may not know why we are angry at them for doing exactly what we have done.

Many years ago when I was teaching at a neighborhood Christian school a young girl said a swear word. The other children in line were shocked and told me about the offense right away. The girl had very strong feelings and was convinced she had said nothing wrong. "My dad says that word all the time, it is not a swear." I had the young girl whisper the word in my ear and indeed it was a swear word. I explained that she didn't know what she was saying and that she wouldn't say it anymore, and we went on with class. I still remember the hurt look on her face, she was crushed, confused, humbled and sad.

Let me encourage you today to take a look at your child's behaviors. Are they simply doing what you are doing? As parents, we are our child's first and most influential teacher. I pray that we all make decisions and give examples that are worthy of Christ's high calling on our lives. May we act in ways that bring God the glory when our little ones (or not so little ones) copy what we are doing.

Doesn't He Already Know?

I was having a discussion about prayer with a new friend recently. They are finding their prayer time to be very challenging and are having troubles knowing what to say. After talking for a bit, I discovered that their struggle comes from feeling silly for telling God things He already knows. "Doesn't He already know what I am going to say? Why should I have a conversation when I have nothing new to say?"

Hmmm. I had to think about that for a moment. I told them that prayer was important for our faith development and that it will get easier the more you do it. True statements, but they really didn't satisfy me. Why do I tell God stuff? Doesn't He already know? I continued to think about these questions for some time.

Then, it hit me. We were sitting at the table for dinner and sharing the details of our day with the other members of our family. It is so nice to share this time together, when we encourage and support one another through different steps of our day. As I was listening to each person's turn and asking questions so we would have more details, I realized that I already knew each thing that was being said. I was enjoying the conversation and loving the time we were spending together even though they were not sharing any new information with me.

I realized that I don't ask my children what happened in their day because I don't know, I ask them what has happened because I want to help them grow and I want to spend time with them. It is the same with God. He knows exactly what has happened in your day, but He is interested in your growth and spending time with you. He is filled with joy when you set aside time and put Him first in your life.

Let me encourage you to spend time talking with God like you would want your children to talk with you. I would also like to encourage you to spend time talking as a family each night if you don't already. These are precious moments that go by so quickly, please take the time to cherish each and everyday....I know that God cherishes each and every time you stop to talk to Him, even though He already knows!

Can We Protect Our Kids?

There are many things I try or wish I could protect my children from. We are very cautious about many things they watch or hear. We keep a close eye on friendships they are making and places they go. Our desire is to help our children grow up having spent each day glorifying God and understanding how much we and God love them. But, we can not protect them from everything.

One thing I am hypersensitive about, is child abuse. Our family talks about appropriate touching, appropriate behaviors and watching out for each other, probably once every other week in some way. I want to be sure that all of our children know that they have the right to protect their body and that they should never fear telling someone if they feel someone else is not listening to the boundaries established.

As a former teacher and youth leader, I have seen and heard of way too many situations where children have been abused. This danger very seldom comes from a stranger or scary looking person as most people teach their children. People who are kind, who know how to make kids like them and who can even be part of their family, those are the ones who do most of the abusing. Neighbors, uncles, step-fathers, coaches, counselors and fathers or brothers of friends are more likely to be a danger to your children than the strange looking man at the park. When abuse comes from people you trust and have a relationship with, it is much harder to report, stop and feel comfortable telling someone.

My goal is not to scare our children, but to help them be aware of the situations they put themselves in. I am aware of girls who were abused: when a dad drove them home after they babysat his children; by brother's of friends at a sleepover; by relatives; by neighbors; even by their own friends. In each situation that I am aware of, the abuse continued several times and were not just one time events. I am so concerned that victims don't understand that they truly are victims and they need to get help. They are so often threatened and bullied into the abusive situation that they are not able to think clearly how to get the abuse to stop. All children need to know abuse is wrong and telling is right!

I was abused as a child by a family member and it divided the family when I testified against him in court. Many in the family believed me, while many in the family thought I made the whole series of events up. The family was essentially destroyed when the courts decided that he should serve several years in prison for his actions. This is a very common reaction and many children do not tell because they do not want to destroy their family....the abuser has made it clear that if the victim tells, the family will fall apart, and it will be the victims fault.

You may be wondering why I have felt the need to spend my day writing what seems to be a post much different than my norm. Well, a few nights ago my husband and I were watching a news program that was detailing a very disturbing situation of years of abuse to possibly hundreds of women and young girls, all under the disguise of bringing honor to God. I have seriously had trouble sleeping each night since and can't help but want to run to their side and help them see the truth. Running to their side is not a possibility at this time, but encouraging you to help your children avoid an abusive situation is something I can do.

Let me encourage you to think about my words carefully and decide how you might best speak to your children about abuse. You know your children and how best to communicate with them. In our family we use words like "private areas," "parts of our body that would be covered by a swimsuit," "intimacy that is meant for marriage," and "we don't keep secrets from each other." It breaks my heart to know that children are abused each and everyday. I pray that we would all have the courage to talk to our children, the insight to keep them from harmful situations and the wisdom to know when they are experiencing pain. And, may God please provide a way out of the abusive situation any child might find themselves in. Let's stop abuse, one child at a time!

Window of Frustration

It has occurred to me that I have a window of frustration. A time each day when my patience is thin, my energy low and my stress too high. This window seems to occur each day from about 4pm until 6pm.

This is the time of day when children are calling for help with their homework; when dinner is needing tending and preparing; when young ones that are too old for a nap show signs of needing a nap; when chores need to be completed; when youngsters need to be transported to or from events; and when everyone is anxiously awaiting the arrival of their father after his day at work. This is the time of day when I can turn from the helpful, understanding parent I desire to be.....and become a short tempered, demanding parent. Not a good time for anyone.

I am not happy with my window of frustration! It certainly isn't my child's fault that everything seems to happen at once. So, I have been trying to think of some proactive ideas to help us all make it through this time frame without any casualties. Here are some ideas we are trying, I would love to hear any ideas you have.....
     -have an activity area ready (play dough, drawing supplies, rice table, water colors)
     -have an outside activity ready (sidewalk chalk, bubbles, water table, sandbox)
     -have a homework table cleared and supplied with pencils, erasers and pencil sharpeners
     -ask an older child to help out at the homework table
     -allow children to help with dinner prep (making sure the kitchen is ready for extra hands, before the  
       4pm window starts)
     -utilize any down times during nap or throughout the day to help conquer tasks that can be
      completed before this window opens
     -encourage young readers to read to the dog or baby now and I will listen to them read at bedtime
     -limit the number of friends and extra activities during this window
     -pray about this time of day an my attitude

It certainly is not a perfect plan and there are days when the "mean mom" still shows her ugly face, but those days are becoming fewer and fewer. I know that I don't need to be a perfect mom, and I will always have struggles. However, my prayer is for our home to be a loving, joyfilled environment and a daily window of frustration does not fit into that description. I also desire to help my children see that they can work through even their toughest challenges, I certainly cannot teach them something I cannot do myself.

Let me encourage you to look at your day. Is there a window of frustration in your home? Maybe yours is in the morning getting ready for school, or at night when everyone is needing to get in bed, or a different time when your family is very busy. Please take a look at your day and how you might make that window of frustration a bit more positive and a better experience for everyone. It won't be easy, but you and your family are sure to be blessed. May God's love, joy and peace fill your days! 

How We Remember

Today is September 11th. In the United States, this is a day when we remember a great tragedy that hit our country. Nearly 3,000 people died on this day in 2001. I remember the events well, where I was, what I was doing and who I was with.

Although we only had one child at the time of this horrible event, we feel it is very important for our children to know what happened and remember this day. Children of different ages know different things about the days events, with the older children having actually watched the news coverage from the day and seen the events unfold before their eyes. However, we don't need our children to relive the events each year, no need to dwell on the negative.

We choose to remember this day in a more positive way. We choose to remember that everyday police, firefighters and emergency workers put their lives in danger to keep us safe. Although the emergency personnel in our area might never have been in New York, they are brave and making sacrifices just the same. So, each 9-11 our family makes cards and bakes treats for the emergency workers in our community. It is nothing fancy, just some heartfelt creations from a family and their children.

Each year after we make the treats we personally deliver them to our local centers. In our current community we have one fire house and one police station, so we have also started taking treats to our emergency room workers. (Other communities that we have lived in have had several fire houses and so we just took treats to all of the houses and did not include the police or hospital workers, whatever works best for our family and for our town.) With each delivery we say "Thank You" and wish them a great day. Sometimes we take a tour, sometimes we just move on to the next delivery.

Although this is a really simple thing to do with the children, it is something they look forward to and talk about for weeks. I let them decide what types of cakes, how they should be decorated and which one goes where. It is truly a fun day that helps us remember those that serve our community all year round.

Let me encourage you to think of ways that you can help your children understand the importance of remembering those that sacrifice for us each and everyday. May God truly bless your family and may His arms completely engulf those who lost someone on this day in 2001. 

They Aren't Going To Change Me

The phrase "they aren't going to change me," actually makes me sad. It makes me sad because we have decided before a situation even begins that we are not going to fully engage in the circumstances. If we are truly committed, 100% to a situation, we can't help but be changed. The people in our life our meant to encourage, mold, teach, lead and inspire us. How can we not be changed?

I hear this phrase most often from parents expecting their first child or parents with young children. They have decided that they are happy with their lives and they are not going to allow some kid to change the things they like and how they act. Now I know, that many are just inexperienced and once they begin parenting they will see how foolish this concept is. However, they are still many that work extremely hard to make sure that their favorite type of lifestyle does not change. But why?

I can not even imagine not allowing my children to change me. They have made me a better person in so many ways. I am extremely thankful for all the lessons they teach me every week. As we grow together, they have taught me to be more patient.....doing things on their own is very important and can sometimes take ten times longer than if mom does it for them; they have taught me sacrifice.....my heart longs to see the needs of my child met before my own; they have taught me humility......nothing humbles me faster than hearing a negative phrase that I routinely say, come from my little ones own mouth;  they have taught me that I am stronger than I thought.....they have given me many opportunities to push myself beyond what I thought was possible and accomplish greater things. I am a much happier, much healthier, much more productive and much better person because I have allowed my children to change me. It is something I will never regret.

I am not suggesting that you shouldn't have a "girls night out," or that you shouldn't still play in the softball league on Tuesday nights. However, I am suggesting that you look at your week and see on average how much time you spend with your child and how much time they spend away from you.  God has truly only given them to you for a short time. And the amount of time you have with them before they begin to ask for time on their own is even shorter....just a few short years to devote to those little ones and establish great habits.

I will admit, I am clearly more involved in my children's lives today then I was when we only had one child. With each precious blessing came a more deliberate effort by my husband and I to dedicate time to our children. We have always felt that it is extremely important for our children to learn a love for family. That love starts with us and the choices we make. We choose to let our amazing children (amazing because of what God is doing in their lives) change us.

Let me encourage you to take a look at whether or not your children are changing you, and how you might devote yourself to their development more each day. They will be gone before you know it.

Everyday Wonder

As the school year begins and summer ends we often find ourselves falling into a weekly routine. I love routines and knowing what will happen next, but sometimes we can let the routine get the best of us.

I was reading some quotes by Abraham Joshua Heschel, a Jewish leader of the 20th century. It seems to me that he had great insight. One of the ideas he emphasized was embracing the wonder of every day. He believed that we should wake each day to see the wonder of God and the amazing things He has planned for us. He spoke about seeing the marvel in the little things around us, in the day to day routine activities.

I love this notion. I love putting the world aside and taking a moment to thank God for the amazing sunrise He has provided. I love gazing into my toddler's eyes and remember the miracle of His creation. I love that making lunch for my family can be a time of wonder, memory making and praise. I love that doing wash can remind me of how Jesus washes me clean and gives me a fresh start each and every time I ask. I especially love the evenings when we sit as a family breaking bread and sharing the memories of our day. Oh, the wonder of it all!

I don't believe that our days are meant to be routine sweat and labor. I truly believe that each day is meant to be seen as a gift. Each day could be the last day that you are able to do__________. Then what? Are we wasting the blessings of each day and missing the wonder of His plan? When you think about loved ones that you have lost, what do you remember....it's the little things, right?

Let me encourage us all to stop not just once, twice or even three times, but let us stop ourselves hundreds of times a day and remember the wonder of that moment. No matter what the moment....good, bad, beautiful, ugly....let us remember it is a gift. The wonder of each moment throughout our days is a gift from God, a reflection of His unending love and an opportunity to share His amazing grace.

No Apology Needed

When did it become "against the rules" to bring your children to the grocery store? A few days ago I had a friend express frustration because others in the grocery store were making comments about her children. Today I went to the store with four of our children and received many looks that made me feel judged and a bit uncomfortable. Did I miss a memo? I thought children were allowed in grocery stores.?.

Now, I am not suggesting that we let our children run wild throughout the store, touching each item and screaming loudly. It is important for all children to learn self-control and demonstrate appropriate behavior no matter where they are. People often tell me they never take their children to restaurants, stores or even church because they just can't behave. My response is usually to ask, "How are they going to learn how to behave in those situations if they are never taught?" As parents, one of our jobs is to teach our children how to respond to situations around us. We all need to be taught, none of us just decided that one day we were mature enough to handle a given situation on our own without preparation.

My question really is, "When did people become so intolerant with the teaching process?" When did people decide it was their job to say something in a store to a mother who is trying to teach her son how to conduct themselves in a store? My friend has a child that has some special needs, he was in a cart and not running through the store, she was doing what she thought was best to help him understand how he should act, when a complete stranger rudely reprimanded her.

She of course was crushed. She was already having a challenging time just trying to get some quick basic needs and now she has "failed" as a mom. Or, at least that is how she felt. She apologized for her child's behavior and tried to quickly wrap up their trip and move on their way with her broken spirit dragging behind her. I don't feel she should have apologized. She doesn't need to explain to anyone that her child has some special needs. She does not need to ask permission to take her children to the store for a few items.

It has made me wonder how many mom's go through their days apologizing or making special arrangements to keep their children from "bothering" others. How exhausting that must be! Let me encourage us all to remember that all children are wonderful gifts from God. They are fearfully and wonderfully made, made in His image. God has a plan for each one of them. Each child, no matter how "special," is part of God's family. Please, don't ever apologize for your child's presence! (apologizing for harmful behavior is different)

I realize that I have a large family (one with some special needs) and that most people express that they would be overwhelmed with seven children, but why should I apologize for having them? They are precious, wonderful gifts from God and I can not imagine my life without them. My life, family and home are filled with so much love, joy and laughter because they are a part of it. I truly feel that people that don't have large families are missing out. Maybe I should just start apologizing that they don't have more children to enjoy! :-)

Growing Up Too Fast

It seems to me that most children are trying to grow up faster than they should. It saddens me when I see parents or adults encouraging children to act like adults or grow up fast. I believe that God has blessed us with many seasons of life, and we are meant to enjoy each season.

As a parent it can be hard to wait patiently for our children to reach certain milestones. Almost every first time parent can't wait to see their child crawl, walk or say their first words. I completely understand the encouragement we as parents give our children to reach these and other milestones....walking, riding a bike, using the toilet and other exciting parts of childhood. I am certainly not encouraging anyone to let their children lay around and act like they are 2 forever. (I have experienced both in my years)

What I have been experiencing lately are children who are loosing their innocence because a parent is allowing them to watch movies or shows with way too much violence or sexual situations in them; families that have decided to allow their children to dress in ways that only street girls used to dress; and people encouraging even 5 and 6 year olds to find a boyfriend or girlfriend. Once a child makes this step away from innocence, there is no way to get it back.

As parents we know that their are stepping stones that children take as they develop. Typically they roll over before they crawl, they crawl before they walk, and they walk before they run. These same type of stepping stones occur as children grow into adults. Young teens or tweens build strong friendships with the opposite sex, learning boundaries and uniqueness about others before dating. Young people also need to understand their changing bodies and what clothing is most flattering for their God given shape. When we push children through stages we are setting them up for heartbreak and failure in the future.

I recently had a discussion with an 8 year old that seemed obsessed with developing breasts and finding a boyfriend. We took out a piece of paper and worked out some math. I asked her at what age she felt she would become an adult, we agreed upon 20. Then I asked her at what age does she think people die, we agreed upon 80. I pointed out to her that she will have 60 years to be an adult, but that she really only has about 17 years to truly be a child. She will be an adult for 3 times longer than she will be a child.

We started talking about the importance of being a child while you still have the chance. Childhood is the time when we learn so much. We learn academically, socially, emotionally and spiritually. These are the years when we can make mistakes and the consequences aren't usually life altering. It is so important to build a great foundation of learning from our choices when we are young, so that we can think things out clearly and not make detrimental choices when they have lasting consequences.

Let me encourage you to help your children enjoy the season they are in. Each season is a blessing and can be used to teach very important life lessons. There is no reason to grow up too fast.

I Know, But....

My least favorite phrase to hear is "I know, but...." It truly frustrates me when I am talking to one of my children and they respond with "I know, but..." They are clearly not listening to me when they are ready to refute my instructions before I even finish talking. After all, I am the mom and I would obviously have something important to say.

We were having a day filled with "I know, but..." recently. I was done. My patience was gone and I was ready to explode. My exact thoughts were, "I am the mom, I am not here to argue with you, your job is to listen and obey." As mount mom was about to erupt, God sent me a gentle reminder of all the times I say "I know, but" to God. Ouch!

How many times do I read the scriptures, see an area of my life that God is asking me to evaluate and I use the phrase, "I know but..." with Him? I know I should or shouldn't.....but there is just so much stress in our home right now. I know I should or shouldn't.....but it is summer and our schedule is all out of wack right now, I will look at it when school starts; or when I find a job; or when the baby is older; or when I have more money; or or or. How frustrated I would be if my children gave me as many excuses as I give God. After all, He is God and He would obviously have something important to say.

"I know, but..." is still a phrase that I am going to discourage in my home. However, now I want to discourage it so that my children can learn to listen to their Heavenly Father. So that I can be better at listening to Him too. It is not always easy to do what we are asked, but we need to remember that the person in authority making the request is doing it because they love us and they want what is best for us. Let's all work to set aside what we think we need, stop the "I  know, buts...." and follow the path that God has laid before us.

May God truly bless you and your family as you make a conscious effort to follow His ways, raise children that bring Him glory and stop the "I know, buts..."

Getting Everyone to Help

With the blessing of a large family, comes the blessing of many chores. We have nine people in our home and we tend to make a great deal of laundry, dirty dishes and small messes. If I were to take care of everything in the home on my own, I would never sleep and still not be done. So, we have a chore chart and have divided the chores among everyone in the house. (ok, not the little one....he has started throwing his own trash away, but he won't start real chores until he is almost 3)

One of the things I have learned about chores and getting them done, is to keep the fun in your day and keep them excited about helping. The little ones often reject the idea of doing chores because they want to play or watch their favorite show or just do anything but chores. We have found that by putting a little fun into our chores we can get everyone involved. Here are some ideas we use:
     -Sing songs while cleaning. Some of our favorites are "The Clean-up Song," "Jesus Loves Me," "ABC," and a personal chant.
     -Make it a race. When we have an area with many items out of place, we like to "race" and see who can get the most items in their bin in an allotted time. This works very well when picking up specific items like crayons, books, blocks and such.
     -Use the squirt guns. This is a new idea that one of our daughters actually used to get the boys more involved. She took some plastic items that needed cleaning out to the drive way and let the boys go wild with squirt guns and rags. They had a great time and our items are nice and clean.
     -Let's shoot some hoops. Our favorite way to take care of dirty clothes or misc. papers, it to play basketball with them. We put the basket or garbage can in the middle and everyone shoots. This also works for some toys, but not for anything that will break :-)
     -Get dressed up. Our children have some fun aprons that they can wear while cooking and cleaning.  They really aren't anything amazing, just something fun to brighten a mundane activity. Some days dressing up gives us the little boost we need to get the work done.
     -Find what they are good at. One of the hardest things to do with chores is to find something that everyone can do. Our little ones do things like: wipe the door knobs and light switches, feed the dog, take the recycling to the bin and pick up toys. Some people in the family like doing dishes, others like to vacuum. About once a year, I list all the chores that need to be done and we let everyone pick the tasks that they would like to complete.
     -Relax and compliment. There are times when the chores aren't done exactly how I would like, but teaching our children responsibility, to do their best to help the family is truly more important than a super clean home. It is also very important to tell them when they do a good job. Everyone loves encouragement!

May God bless you today as you encourage your children to help you and your family be good stewards of what God has blessed you with. Have a happy chore day!

You Never Know What They Are Thinking

We have a bedtime routine at our home. We try to follow it most days, but some days are just crazy and the routine is upset....I am sure you can relate. Well, last night in the middle of our routine, our 4 year old surprised me. He was all settled down, I thought he was moments from being fully asleep. All of a sudden he rolls over, looks at me and asks, "how does the zoo get it's animals?" Where did that come from? We haven't been to the zoo in 4 months, we haven't driven past the zoo in weeks, we didn't even read an animal book yesterday. This one question led to a full discussion on zoos and their animals.

I am amazed at what our little ones are thinking sometimes. It is clear that I have no idea what they are pondering or retaining from our conversations. How long has he been thinking about those zoo animals and what else is he pondering in that mind of his?

There are times when I speak to parents when they tell me that they don't feel their children are getting anything out of their devotions and memory verses, or that they haven't started yet because they feel the children are too young. I of course, try to encourage them and remind them that God has promised that His word will never return void. His word is good for teaching and helping our children walk through this world and develop their relationship with Christ. This conversation about zoo animals convinces me even more that we should be sharing the scriptures with our children at a young age. Imagine what they might be pondering.

By allowing our children to hear scripture we are planting the words in their minds and giving them the opportunity to retain and ponder so much. The earlier we start the better. How awesome it would be for your children to never know a time when your family wasn't doing devotions, reading verses and/or praying together! It is just what we have ALWAYS done. What a blessing for you and your children.

I recall a time several years ago when our 7 year old (at the time) and I had a very strong disagreement which ended with her needing to spend a few moments in her room. After several minutes she called from her room, "Mom, can you please come here? I would like to show you something." When I came to her room, she was sitting on the floor with her Bible open. She pointed in her Bible to Ephesians 6:4, "Parents do not exasperate your children...." I responded with having her read the verses before Ephesians 6:4 which states that children should obey their parents. I said, "You work on the first verse and I'll work on the 4th."

I certainly didn't find it funny at the time, but I was so proud that our daughter was using scripture when she was upset. I never know what they are thinking, but I pray that we have enough scripture in our home that they are pondering it as they grow physically, emotionally and spiritually.

May God bless us all as we raise children that bring Him glory and impact the Kingdom for eternity!

How Convenient

During Bible study recently, we were talking about our individual faith and how strong or weak we think it might be. The responses were interesting and lead to a discussion of why? Why does it seem that someone's faith is stronger than another's? There were many thoughts, but one that has stuck with me is the thought that we are more interested in what is convenient than actually living or applying our faith.

I have been thinking about the idea for several days. I start out becoming angry at all the "Christians" who don't take the time to do what they know is right....then I start thinking about myself and all the times I choose convenience over application. It is true, we all choose what is easy over what is right from time to time. It hurts me to think about the number of times I have turned my back and walk away from a chance to live out my faith.

Yesterday for example, I was driving down the road with a van full of kiddos. We were on our way to church for an event, and of course we were running a few minutes late. As I am driving through town, I see an older gentlemen in a powered wheelchair on the sidewalk that looks like he is going to fall out the side of his chair. I am wondering if he is having a medical issue. I slow down to take a closer look as we approach. To my relief, he is not having a medical issue, he has dropped his straw and he is leaning out of his chair to try and retrieve it. No matter how much he strains he is not able to reach it. As I drive past my heart aches for him. I go around the block to offer my assistance, even though I know that it will make us even later for our destination. This was not a convenient situation, but it is more important to show compassion than to be on time.

Being a parent is not an easy job. Almost anyone can have a child, but it takes work to be a parent. I find very few situations in parenting to be convenient. My children never get the flu at a convenient time. It is always when I have many things on the calendar and/or could really use a full nights sleep. These children that I dearly love seem to always have their "emergencies" at the most inconvenient times....when I am on an important phone call, when I am on my way out the door, when we are in the middle of a large department store, or my favorite, when we are in the middle of a worship service. These situations are certainly not convenient, but my children are more important and their need for love and compassion should come before 99% of what I feel I need to get done.

I am sad to say that many times I choose convenience over excellence. My children and our God deserve my very best. Let me encourage us all to step past the convenience driven society that we live in and start striving for a life that is living proof of the faith we have. Let us also think about setting aside some personal conveniences to devote more focused time with the amazing children that God has blessed us with. May our families never be driven by convenience, but driven by the desire we have to raise children that glorify and praise God with all they are.

Practical Mom Idea

Every once in awhile our family does something that gets people talking, sometimes it is good, sometimes it is not so good. Anyway, since others are finding this idea helpful I thought I would share it with you...my great group of readers. I hope you find it helpful!

We live in a fairly small town. It is great! There is a fun little ice cream place in town that is the "place to be." You can imagine that with a family of nine, we don't go out very often, but we like to go for ice cream at least once a month. This little shop has tons of stuff: slushies, cones, sundaes, malts, shakes and candy mixers; almost anything one would want. Again with a family our size even a trip for ice cream can become an extremely expensive adventure. So, we came up with this plan.

Each person in the family receives one dollar to spend at the store (this will get you a cone or slushy). Now if any person would like to have something besides a slushy or cone (there are 6 flavors to choose from), they may contribute their own money. For example, if you would like a dipped cone which costs $1.25 you would need to give me 25 cents or if you want a sundae or shake, you would give me 75 cents. This allows each person in the family the option to get whatever they want and at the same time gives mom and dad a reasonable budget. We went to the ice cream shop tonight, our family spent $15 with the children contributing $3.25.

There are a few things I really like about this plan. First, I love that there is no whining. Everyone is able to get what they want, no one can say "that's not fair." I love the fact that my children are thinking through their choices. Do I want to spend my own money? How much money do I have and how much do I want to spend today? I love that I can take my family for a treat and keep it on a budget while still letting everyone pick whatever they want from the menu.

This is a simple idea, but it works great for our family. I hope you can use this concept and apply it in a way that enhances your family fun. I would love to hear a practical idea you have that might bless us all!

Scheduling In Prayer

I have been struggling recently with remembering/ finding time to pray for each one of our children individually. I have no excuses, life has just become very busy and my prayer life needs to adjust. So, I have developed a simple plan for myself that has been working very well and I thought I would share it with you. I figured there must be at least one person out there that is having the same problem. I hope that my plan inspires you to develop a plan that works great for you and your family.

Our family currently has seven children living in our home. It is quite busy, but most days are great blessings. When I thought about the seven children, I noticed that they have very specific needs that I should be praying for, but praying for all of those specific needs everyday became overwhelming. My plan assigns each child one day. I start with our oldest child on Sunday and end each week with our youngest child on Saturday. Seems easy enough, why hadn't I thought of that before?

Each day in my prayer time I devote some time to praying specifically for that day's child. It really has been working great. I pray for their faith walk, for their future, for their character, for any specific needs they have, for their relationships, and whatever else God lays on my heart for them. I would love to pray for each child everyday, and maybe one day my life with return to a speed where that is possible. But for now, I am content knowing that God knows my heart and my needs, and He hears all my prayers for our children.

You might say, but I don't have 7 children. Well, do you have seven people that you feel you should be praying for on a weekly basis? Maybe you devote one day to praying for your spouse, maybe there is a day for one or both of your parents, maybe you feel led to be praying for your pastor or someone in leadership. There are no limits to whom we can pray for. Take a few moments to reflect and I am positive God will lay at least 7 people on your heart.

Prayer is a funny thing. If you have never set aside a special time to just pray for others, let me encourage you to do so. I have found that as I spend time talking to God in prayer that the Godly characteristics I desire become more evident in my life. Even when I am praying for others. I have also found that praying for others allows me to "see" the struggles they may be having and how I may help them. Sometimes prayer seems like a chore, but it always turns out to be such a blessing. Please consider giving regular scheduled prayer a try, I know that you will be blessed!

God's Provisions

This email I am going to share today is one that was written by a Christian mom to her dear friends. The names have been removed, but the email is real as are the circumstances. Please take a few moments to listen to her heart.

I really wanted to call one or both of you, but I seriously can not talk. I have been crying for a while now. I am only writing to you because I know that you two will understand that God is just amazing.

So we are in a very hard spot right now. The months of July and August are months where I make no income at all. You also are aware that we have added two children to the mix (who by the way, are doing great). I thought we were doing fine, and then things just started happening. Our car insurance was due on the 22nd for both cars, it is now late. Our youngest daughter's class went up by more than $40. (I know that this is not a necessity, but she hasn't been in class since the first week of June and I told her she could start again with the fall session). The session starts next week and fees need to be paid. The other girls have basically the same situation with their class. I told them they couldn't do the last session but they could do this one. Their class starts in two days and fees are due. School registration is next week. To register all four kids for school will cost $40 a child. Both of our gas tanks have the empty light on. We are out of night time pull-ups and although we have food, we are missing some key items that are stables in our home.

I was trying to convince myself today to go into church and ask Pastor if he would be able to help us out, at least with our car insurance. (well, not him, but the fund at church that they use to help people). It takes a lot of convincing.....too much pride!! Well, before I was able to talk to him I was having a meeting at church with the VBS director. During our meeting, a staff person at church walks in and hands me an envelope that had been placed on his desk for our family. In it was a check that will cover EVERYTHING just mentioned in the above paragraph....almost to the cent!

I am completely overwhelmed! God knew exactly what we needed and when we needed it and He provided so generously for it ALL! I have no idea why I ever doubted! 

Thank you so much for your prayers, support and encouragement! You ladies mean the world to me!!

I am not sure about you, but I find this email to be very moving. I know most of us have been there, the place where we are not sure where the money is going to come from, it is easy to relate too. God doesn't always answer with a large check, but that doesn't mean He loves you any less. He sees the big picture, He knows what will bring Him glory and how best to help you grow in your faith during a situation.

When I shared this situation with a friend, she was telling me about a study she was attending. In this study, they were talking about world known ministers and some struggles they had been through. She mentioned that one leader was running an orphanage with around 300 children. They had fallen on hard times and had nothing to feed these 300 children for breakfast. The minister had the children sit at the table, they passed out plates and such, they bowed their heads and thanked God for the food they were about to be blessed with.....even though there was no food. A few moments after the prayer there was a knock at the door, a bakery had too much bread and was asking them if they would need it. A few moments later a milk truck broke down and gave the children milk because he had no way to keep it cold. Amazing!

My encouragement for you today is to remember that God loves you and that you can trust Him. You can trust Him to guide you and provide for your needs. Someone once told me, "God always gives us what we need, unfortunately, sometimes we use it for what we want instead." Let me encourage you to step back and look at all the amazing blessings God has given your family and thank Him for the wonderful provisions that are yet to come. I look forward to hearing your faith building stories and how God is moving in your family!

Celebrating 100

Today I want to take a moment and say "Thank You!" This post is my 100th post, and thanks to you there are people all over the world that are being encouraged to raise children that love the Lord. Every time you "share", "like" or comment on one of my posts you are helping it to reach more people with an encouraging word. Thanks to you, this blog is now being read in 15 different countries. Thank you!

I started this blog because I felt God leading me to write and share many things about children that He has shown me through the years. I pray almost every post that He would use my words to do His will. Whatever that might be. I am amazed at the response. I know that some of you have been with me since the beginning, about 6 months ago, while others have just joined us recently. No matter what, I am thankful for you all.

Let me encourage you to go back and look at post from the past 6 months that you might have missed. The top 5 posts thus far are:
           5- God's Best Plan....from January
           4- I Love My Children.....from June
           3- Dry and Weary Marriage....from June
           2- Struggles.....from January
           1-What Are We Waiting For?.......from February
If you missed any of these the first time, you might want to check them out and see where God may be leading you today.

I am thankful and humbled by all of your comments, emails and encouragement. Please continue to share this blog with your friends as it is evident to me that there are so many who are looking for an encouraging and helpful word.

May God bless you greatly as you strive to raise children and live a life that glorifies the Lord each and everyday! It isn't easy, but it is worth every minute!

Let's Chat

One of the great things about writing a blog is that you have an opportunity to chat with people from all over the world. I LOVE all the comments and emails I receive, please feel free to leave one at anytime! I read them all and often cherish the sentiments. Recently I received a comment that I thought we all could chat about. Here is the comment:

I think this needs some clarification. Are you saying it's wrong to think someone else besides your spouse is attractive? Sometimes that's just a fact!! If God had intended us to only see beauty in our spouse, we'd all be blind. I find nothing wrong in seeing the beauty in another person. That doesn't mean I want to get in bed with them or that I have an impure thought. I also find it hard to believe that I am SINNING if I eat an entire pizza rather than just a few slices. If such thought is the case, then nearly every single thing we do every moment of our lives is a sin. Am I sinning now because I am questioning you? Not trying to be controversial, but I do want to challenge this thinking. Am I sinning because I didn't take a shower today? Am I sinning because I don't force my children to drink a glass of milk every day? I do not believe there is a line drawn in the sand. Yes, there is sin. But I haven't seen where God is going to damn me to hell because I ate a whole bag of Doritos or I think Channing Tatum is a good looking man. Opinions? 

I am happy to clarify my thoughts from the post "How Far Can We Go?" First, I am not the one who decides what is sin. I am simply sharing what I have found while studying God's Word and how His love and guidance help my family through our days. It certainly is not a sin to disagree with me, question me or challenge me.....I am simply a follower of Christ sharing my experiences. I would encourage us all to read the scriptures for ourselves and pray to God for guidance whenever we read a Christian blog, hear a sermon or watch an evangelist. All leaders, including myself, can make mistakes and could possibly be teaching falsely without even knowing it. I actually like being challenged, because it makes me certain of what I really believe.

When it comes to bringing honor to my marriage, I don't feel it is healthy for me to be staring at or commenting on the attractiveness of others. Now I find beauty in lots of places, especially nature and my children. I have learned and consciously teach my children that people are beautiful/ attractive/ handsome because of their character, values and relationship with Christ. Scripture is clear when it comes to lust. If you look lustfully at someone, you have already committed adultery with them in your heart. (Matthew 5:28) There is most certainly a difference between noticing a person and lusting after them. I don't look the same as the day I married my husband, he does not look the same either. However, he is more attractive to me today with his thinning hair, gray streaks and few extra pounds, than he has ever been. I love who he is, and no matter what he looks like, that doesn't change.

Pizza and Doritos are not foods that we find in scripture, so it is true that no where in the Bible does it say you can't eat an entire pizza or a whole bag of Doritos, however, scripture does talk about gluttony. Gluttony is eating in excess. In my opinion, eating an entire pizza or a whole bag of Doritos would be excessive. Depending on what translation of scripture you use you can find several verses talking about the harms of gluttony. I will simply share two:
         -Ezekiel 16:49 (NLT)   Sodom's sins were pride, gluttony, and laziness......
         -Proverbs 23:2 (NIV) and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.
It is pretty clear that gluttony is not something that brings God glory and is something that should be avoided. (That said, I have been tempted in the past to eat an entire bag of Oreos....but that doesn't make it right.)

The idea behind my post was to encourage us to strive to live holy lives and help our children live holy also. It was not meant to list every sin or offense that might pass through our day. Things like showering and drinking milk are American ideals and may be offensive to someone trying to do things the "right way" according to our society, but they are not sins. They have nothing to do with our relationship with God and the high calling He has for us. My deepest desires are for us all to draw closer to Christ, to raise children that glorify the Lord and to have families that bring His love to those we encounter. My ideas may be strange to some, but they are convictions God has laid on my heart. I do not wish to live as others that don't know Christ choose to live, I strive to become more like Him in all I do. I pray that you will continue to join me on this adventure!

Overlook An Offense

A person’s wisdom yields patience;
    it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

Wow, I couldn't have read this verse at a better time. It seems these days our children have become experts at pointing out the "offenses" of others. My days are now filled with reports on how little brother did this and big sister did that and dad did this and so on. It has become quite annoying.

When I read this verse, I knew this was the next verse for our family. We all needed to ask God for wisdom so that we might be more patient with each other. This patience would then help us overlook the tiny offenses that seem to be occupying our days. 

Or at least, that was the plan. It seems that everyone understood the concept of asking for patience and looking over offenses. However, there seems to be a disconnect between our ability to listen to the idea and our ability to act on the idea. This is going to be a journey!

So, we have decided to take a few steps:
-try to solve small arguments on our own
-try to set a good example for others
-pray each day for God to help us overlook small offenses
-T.H.I.N.K. before we speak (True, Helpful, Important, Necessary, Kind)

I know that we have a long journey ahead of us, but I know that with God's help we will make significant progress on supporting one another and looking over small offenses. Let me encourage you to take a great verse this week and help your children see how they can apply God's truth to their lives.  

How Far Can We Go?

When I was serving as a youth leader I had the opportunity to attend a few gatherings and conferences. At one large gathering I attended I heard a man teach on sex and dating. He stated that the most commonly asked question by youth is "How far can we go on a date?" His response is usually something like: "I don't know, Mukwonago. How far do your parents let you drive?" This of course, was not the answer they were looking for....but I thought it was funny!

What does this have to do with you? I am assuming that if you are reading my blog, that you are a parent, married and are allowed to drive wherever you want, so what's the point? Well, I believe the concept of his statement can apply to all areas of our life. It seems to me that we are all a bit like those teens, wanting to know "how close to the line can we get, without crossing it?" How much can we talk about our neighbors business, before it moves from a prayer request to gossiping? How many of the new delights can we sample before it moves from nourishing, to gluttony? How long can we stare at the person at the pool, before it moves from glancing around our environment to lusting? I think we all have times when we try to see how far we can go.

I know that many people believe that there really is no harm in pushing the limits. I hear people say all the time, "I can look but I can't touch." Seriously? How is that bringing honor to your marriage? I also hear people say, "It is the truth isn't it, so if she didn't want us to talk about her, then she should keep her business private." I disagree with these ideas. It does matter how far we go.

James chapter 1 tells us that we are tempted by our desires. That these evil desires entice us. It tells us what happens when we allow ourselves to linger or move close to the line. Once your desire is conceived, it gives birth to sin and then that sin continues to grow until it finally leads to death. It all starts with a small desire. There is harm in looking, there is harm in straying from pure talk and pure actions, they lead to death. We know that as we continue to give into desires, the line we have drawn will move farther and farther from where God wants us to be.

Let me encourage you today to take a look at the lines that you have drawn for you and your family. In what areas of your life are you pushing the limits that God has placed in front of you? Are you teaching your children that they can give into their desires as long as they stop before it becomes sin? Take a few moments and read through James chapter 1 and let us all remember that he ends the chapter by reminding us to keep ourselves from being polluted by the world. It is a difficult task, but I pray that we will all choose Life with Christ and turn from death in the world.